Lost

eleven | The After Math

"We can talk more about this later, sweetie. When you are better."
I shook my head. "No. No. Mom. Please. I don't want to go back home. It's fine. I'm fine. Let me stay here. Please. I'm begging yo-"
"Okay, okay." She lightly brushed her finger through the top of my hair. "Okay, we will talk about this later"

I huffed out a breath. I wanted to talk about the subject right then and there. I wanted to know if she was really going to make me go back home just as the summer started.
I needed to know.

It took some convincing but after a little while she left. Then John B came into the room and he looked horrible.
His hair was a mess. It was obvious he hadn't showered. There was some dry blood here and there on his body. My blood.
At least he got a change of clothes.
He looked guilty.
For what?
It wasn't his fault.
"Hey, John B," I smiled.
"Hey, Hales..."

He sighed and let a light smile spread across his face. "I'm so glad you're okay....you're alive."
I giggled a little bit. "Don't be so dramatic, John"
His smile faded slightly. "Dramatic? Haley, I watched you bleed out in front of me after you were shot."

"You're going to be okay, alright Hales? You'll be okay, we are almost to the hospital."
John B? I thought that was John B speaking but I could've been wrong. It sounded like John B. John B. John B. John B. John B.
John.
Dad.
I missed dad. Maybe I would be able to see dad.

My smiled dropped for only a moment before I picked it back up.

"Haley, keep your eyes opened-Hey! Listen to me, please, Haley, keep your eyes opened"
JJ was speaking but I couldn't hear him. It was all muffles. The only thing I could focus on was the pain. And that made it a hundred times worse.

"Is JJ out there?" I asked, changing the subject.
John B slowly nodded his head. "Yeah."
That look. That look that John B had. I knew that look. Not good. That was not a good look.
"Is he okay?" I asked.
John B smiled ever so lightly. "Haley, you were shot and you're asking if JJ is okay?"
"Well is he?"
John Bs smile faded. "Do you want me to go get him?"
I stayed silent for only a moment. "Yes."
John B nodded his head and slowly walked out.
I was very upset that I didn't get much time to speak to John B but I really wanted to see JJ.

John B made it sound like JJ was, like, actually dying. Or I just made it sound that way in my head.
Most likely I just made it sound that way in my head.
But either way. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I waited for JJ.
So when he finally walked in. It felt like every worry, every inch of pain, every part of me that was scared or sad or upset, was all lifted off my shoulders.
It felt like the room expanded and there was more space to breathe.
It felt like I did not get shot in the arm. Like I went back in time and prevented it.
Like I didn't just come out of surgery.
Everything was gone.
Just me and him.
JJ.

"hey..." He said awkwardly.
"hey" I said back.
He walked over to the end of my bed and leaned on the wall that was there. He stayed there just staring at me for a hot minute. It didn't even look like he was breathing.
I opened my mouth to speak but JJ beat me to it. "Does this mean that you're now crippled? Or like....disabled?"
I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Whatever you want to believe"
He nodded his head and muttered something but I couldn't hear it.

I laughed a little bit. "Hey, JJ, are you okay?"
He narrowed his eyebrows at me. "Am I okay?"
I nodded my head.
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He smiled.
I giggled. "Well-probably-but, are you...okay?"
He slowly nodded his head. "Yes, Hales. I'm okay."
I narrowed my eyes at him and he smiled, then stood up from the wall. "how are you feeling?"
I sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to
give me an actual answer. "drained"

His hand rested on my leg as he stared at me, he looked like he was thinking of something. We stayed like that for a minute until I narrowed my eyebrows at him. "what are you looking at?" I asked.
"Are you okay?" He asked me. "like really"
I thought to myself for a second.
no. How could I be okay?
"no....but i'll be fine"
He was rubbing his thumb back and forth on my leg which was distracting me a ton.
Then a doctor walked in and JJ moved his hand away.
He backed away from me as the doctor sat down my charts and a little container of things on the counter not so far away from me.

The woman looked through the charts before walking over to me. "Hey, Haley. I'm just here to draw some blood. Make sure you're doing good. Getting healthier."
I nodded my head and slowly sat up.
She grabbed some kind of strap and rapped it around my upper right arm tightly. Then took a wipe and wiped down the spot where she was drawing the blood.
She walked back over to the counter and grabbed a needle and another wipe.

She then explained that she was going to stick the needle into my arm to take the blood. I nodded my head. She drew the blood then wiped it down and stuck a bandage on my arm. She took the strap off and threw it away with the rest of the materials she used.
Then left.