Hidden Love ~ Parkster

Chapter 10: Regrets

Chester POV:

Parker left to go help Ivy and that left me at home alone with all my thoughts. My mind was racing and how could it not be? Parker and I just kissed. Twice. I was so happy it happened but I was also anxious. What if he only kissed me because he pitied me and what if he doesn't actually like me? Then again he did kiss me first and he seemed genuine when he told me he liked me too.

I've liked Parker for so long and I've always dreamed of the day that he would like me back. Now that the day is here I don't know what to think. I always thought I'd just be fantasizing about us kissing but now the kiss happened and it feels like my whole world flipped a bit. And what does this mean for our relationship? Is there a chance to make it romantic or will we just stay friends? I mean if we ever broke up I'd never want to lose him. I don't think I could survive in a world without Parker. He's always been with me and we've always been friends. I couldn't imagine a world where we didn't talk anymore.

I mean I wouldn't necessarily be happy with just being friends but if that's what we needed to do then I would want to. God I wish I knew what Parker was thinking about everything. That'd make everything much easier for me.

Parker POV:

I was driving and I was thinking so much I almost couldn't focus on the road. Chester and I had just kissed two times and they were the best kisses I have felt on my lips. His lips were better than I could've ever imagined. The way they moved with mine was so perfect, as if we kissed many times before. The way his arms wrapped around my neck so carefully and gracefully. My hands on his waist, pulling him as close as I could. It was just all so perfect. I didn't want to leave him but I knew we both needed some time to think about everything and man was I thinking.

I feel so horrible that I hurt him multiple times. All I wanted to do was show him love and care but I ended up hurting him. I must've left him so confused and questioning everything. I had no clue I had kissed him. I had no clue that he liked me. I had no clue that I was hurting him.

In a way I'm glad that we both confessed. I just wish we didn't do it in such a hostile way. I've never seen Chester that angry and I completely understood why he was. I was being an oblivious asshole. I don't even know where to go from here. Like I really want him to be my boyfriend but I don't want to ruin our friendship completely but then again I don't want us to just be friends.

I texted him as I pulled into Ivy's driveway.

P: I think we should talk when I get home.

I parked my car and went inside. I had a lot to tell Ivy.

Chester POV:

Parker texted me saying we should talk when he gets home and it made me really nervous. I knew he'd be at least 2 hours between clean up time and drive time so I had time but it still made me nervous. What if it went badly and we ended up drifting apart? What if Parker doesn't actually like me and he just did all that stuff to make me feel better? I know I shouldn't focus on the bad things but it's so hard. Maybe going for another run would clear my mind. So that's what I did. I got ready and headed for the door but first I made sure to text Parker. I didn't want him to worry again.

C: I'm going for another run. I'll probably be back by the time you get home

Then I quickly got a reply.

P: Ok be safe. I'll be here for like 30 minutes. Ivy had most of the stuff done by the time I got here.

C: Ok

That just made me more anxious. Knowing that he'd be home sooner than I thought, meaning that we'd have our talk sooner than later. I let that thought start eating away at me as I began to run. It was a bit colder out today but it still felt nice. I needed to focus on the things around me but I couldn't. My head was thinking about Parker, the kiss, the potentially bad things that are going to come out of it.