Shadows of the Night (Unforgiving AU) - An Afterlife SMP Story

Chapter 29- But I'll Believe in You

(Title taken from 'The Last One' by Maisie Peters)

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Shelby's POV (1 Hour Later)

Origin: Shadow Crawler

Dear Diary,

I'm stuck. Lustre was clearly trying to warn me about something. She doesn't want me to bring eternal night. She said it's not what I want.

Now, I don't know what I want. I feel terrible, but at the same time, I don't care. I shouldn't have to feel bad because I'm being grumpy, or whatever, but... maybe Lustre is right. And maybe Joey was onto something when he said I needed an exorcism.

Perhaps I should...

I wonder what it would entail. Would it get rid of whatever is making me want eternal night? Would it kill me? Would it people like me? Would it stop the nightmares? Would it hurt...?

Maybe it's for the best. Maybe I should.

Gosh, I don't know. I still really want eternal night; it would help me! But... maybe then I'll never have friends. But- no, I have Scott! He's my friend! He's on my side!

...He'd understand if I wanted to not go through the villain stuff, right...?

Yeah... he would! Of course he would! He's my best friend, he'd understand!

Speaking of Scott, he messaged me a little bit ago to tell me that he now apparently catches on fire under sunlight. He thinks he knows why, but he isn't telling me. He said he's pop over tonight or tomorrow night at some point, so we can go over it.

I suppose, whatever happened last night, really needs to be spoken about in person, rather than over our communication bracelets.

It makes sense.

Perhaps... when he's over, I'll tell him that I don't know if I want to go through the villain stuff after all. I don't...

No, I can't...!

I'll wait until I actually decide if I want to go through with it or not.

But anyway, things have been quiet. Apparently Oli's birthday was yesterday. I didn't know. Maybe I should stop by at some point to give him a gift? We'll see. I heard about some secret thing that Joel is planning. Perhaps another one of those parties at spawn? A birthday party for Oli, and maybe Lauren since her's was recently too? I'm not quite sure. It was spoken about very vaguely in the group chat, so I don't really know specifics. Not like I'd be invited anyway. They don't like me.

Besides, they'd probably not want to risk me attacking anybody again, so they just won't invite me.

Anyway, I'm gonna go and think some more on what I wanna do. See ya.

-Shelby Grace

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I lean back against the purple couch I had moved into the secret night dweller base, and I sigh, dragging my hands down my face. I'm confused. Or, rather, my brain is. What do I do...?

Suddenly, I hear what sounds like movement up on the grass above, and my ears perk up. There's no way it's Scott, right? He said he'd be over either tonight or tomorrow night. Maybe it's just an animal, like a sheep, or a pig. I doubt anybody would be here at this time in the morning. It's only 7:30am after all.