My Patient...Or Maybe More Than That (Joey Jordison x Reader)

23. Emotions Run Wild

Y/N's POV

I felt someone's soft lips on my cheek. I opened my eyes to see Joey, nuzzled in my warmth, running the tips of his fingers on my body. I wanted to rewind this moment over and over again. "Are you ready for the show Y/N?" He wondered.

"No" I somberly answered, "But I can't let you guys down."

"You're not gonna let anyone down Y/N, just go out there and speak. Speak like you mean it. Like you could give a shit what others think. You have to be confident in your words or the audience will eat right through your facade" Joey preached.

"Those all sound easy on paper Joey but I've never done anything like this before" I countered.

"My first time on a stage that big, I felt nervous too Y/N. You feel the eyes on you but that's why you have the mask. You are not Y/N when you step out on that stage, you're whoever you want to be" Joey explained, "Have you thought about what you want to say?"

"Yeah but I don't wanna script it. I have a basic outline of what I wanna say but that could all go out the window when I'm there" I responded.

Joey grabbed my hand with his, interlocking our fingers. He gently squeezed my hand as he spoke, "When you're on that stage, just remember this feeling. I'll be holding your hand every step of the way just from afar."

We heard a knock come from the door, "Practice is in 20 minutes lovebirds" Jim reminded. Joey gave me a quick peck on the lips before getting up, trying to find something to wear. I followed suit, starting to put on some light makeup. He slipped on some jeans and a different shirt before heading to the bathroom.

I finished getting ready, entering the living area where everyone was. I felt this tension in the room. Joey's demeanor seemed to have changed from when I last saw him. Did something happen? I saw Mick click the TV onto the local news.

"Slipknot's first show in Chico is today and the first show since the spotting at a local hospital. The band have not released a statement yet, making tensions rise within the public. People have started to try and figure out who the mystery woman is. The most popular claim is that mystery woman is Angel Texas, an american porn actress. We-" The news reporter explained being abruptly cut off by Mick turning off the TV.

"Jesus I was a sex slave, then physically abused, and now a porn star" I chuckled. I quickly made my way to the computer, typing Angel Texas in the search bar. "I don't even look like her but I'll take it as a compliment, she's got a great body" I blurted. The others started to come over, seeing Angel Texas in all her glory.

"Click on a video of hers, need to see her in action" Corey instructed. I moved the mouse over to a video titled 'Ride Like A Cowboy', then clicking on it. The video started with her riding this guy, as the titled hinted.

"She not even using her hips, she's just going straight up and down. What's the fun in that?" I scoffed, "I can fuck way better than this."

"Joey?" Sid implored.

"Of course Y/N, you have her beat in every category" Joey assured as he wrapped his arms around my waist, "Don't let it get to you Y/N. You look nothing alike they're just trying to stir up trouble."

"I know, I just wasn't prepared for all of this" I sighed.

"Well that's what you get when you decided to almost drink yourself to death" Corey bleated.

"What the fuck Corey" Jim shouted.

Before I could even think about what Corey just said, Joey pulled me out of the RV and sat me in the car. He bent down outside the car door as he rubbed his hand on my thigh. "Don't listen to him Y/N, you don't deserve any of this" He persisted, "I don't know what's been going on with him lately. All I can hope is that he's just taking his anger out on you and doesn't actually believe the things he says."

"It's fine Joey, there's a truth to his statement. If I wouldn't have drank so much we wouldn't be stuck in all this mess" I mumbled.

"You need to stop being so hard on yourself Y/N. He clearly forgets about all the times he's fucked up and caused us problems too" Joey urged.

He climbed into the car with me as he got out his phone. He started to text Sid that we needed to go to practice. The guys soon came out of the RV, awkwardly getting in the car. The silence was agonizing as Corey drove the car to the venue.

"You okay?" Joey whispered. I nodded my head trying to give him reassurance about the situation. We made it to the venue, the guys quickly going to their instruments as we were running a bit behind. I sat behind Joey, watching him play the drums, effortlessly like he always does. The band as a whole sounded off. It wasn't necessarily that they weren't in sync but they weren't connected. I felt bad, seemingly messing up the band's performance. I sat quietly, making sure not to bother Joey. He looked back to me, smiling. I put on my best fake smile for him. Practice soon ended, leaving on a sour note.

The guys started to become somewhat talkative on the ride home. "So Y/N, have you thought about what you're gonna say on stage?" Sid questioned.

"I have a basic outline but don't want to make things too scripted" I replied.

"It'll be great" Jim added, "You got this." I knew the guys were trying to cheer me up but all I could think about was Corey. His words ran in my head like a broken record. I knew I caused this and was trying to fix it the best I could but it clearly wasn't enough for Corey.

We pulled up to the RV as I somberly got out of the car and into the RV. I fell into the bed, head first just wanting to not exist. Joey climbed into bed with me, running his fingers through my hair. "Don't be upset love. It's okay" He assured. I slowly took my face out of the bed to see him smiling. I felt horrible but his smile gave me a hint of happiness. He gently kissed my lips. Great. He wants sex at the worst possible time. I kissed him back, nudging my tongue into his mouth. It felt so wrong but I did it for him. I got on top of him when he broke the kiss. "Something seems off Y/N" He asserted.

"I'm fine let's just get to it" I responded. I tried to kiss him once again but he stopped me.

"I feel like you don't want this Y/N" He admitted.

"It's fine Joey" I replied once again going for his lips. He pushed me off of him, gently laying me on my side.

"Y/N I don't want to do anything with you if you don't want to. I just feel like you're forcing yourself to do the movements. I don't feel anything from you except sadness" He explained.

"I'm sorry Joey" I apologized.

"You don't need to be sorry Y/N, I just need you to talk to me. Why did you try to come onto me if you didn't want to?" He asked softly.

"Because I thought you wanted to have sex" I answered.

"Baby I don't want sex unless you want it. Sex wasn't even on my mind Y/N. My mind was on how you were feeling" Joey admitted. His words felt like comfort. My mind rushed with the memories of my ex-fiancé wanting sex and not caring if I wanted to or not. He had been the only long term relationship I had. I thought it was love. I thought that was just what couples do but Joey's words chipped at that idea.

I felt his fingers run under my eyelids when I realized I had started to cry. Joey whispered, "It's okay Y/N, I'm right here." He laid my head on his chest as he spoke once again, "Are you crying because of Corey?"

"It's because of everything" I sniffled, "The hospital, Corey, my past relationship. I just can't take it anymore."

"You need some rest Y/N. Just relax, it's only me" He insisted. I closed my eyes, feeling one last tear run down my cheek before I drifted into the desperate sleep I needed.