STRAY KIDS ONE-SHOTS

[ Want To Believe ] Hyunjin x Reader

"Hyunjin's girlfriend." 
That's what they all call me, my friends and even his. I sigh after getting called Hyunjin's girlfriend once again by his friend "I can never escape this can I?" I asked him as he playfully shook his head, "You know, it's hard to stop when the two of you guys are just so deeply in love with each other." my best friend, Mila snickered at me, it's true that I like him since 6th grade but I know for a fact that he doesn't feel the same. 

"He doesn't and we both know that, heck everyone knows that!" I exclaimed, I had forced myself to accept the fact that he would never look at me with the same amount of adoration that I had set eyes on him ever. "How many times do I have to tell you? He DOES like you!!" Mila exclaimed I didn't even understand why she still tried to convince me that he likes me back, "Stop trying to make me delulu." I rolled my eyes as we both walked to our next shared class which we so happened to share with a few of Hyunjin's friends. 

"Hey Mila, hey Mrs Hwang!" Jisung playfully greeted Mila and I as I rolled my eyes at the nickname "When are you guys ever going to stop calling me Hyunjin's girlfriend and Mrs Hwang?" I asked him and he was soon joined by my other friend Yui who was also friends with Hyunjin "Absolutely never!" Yui smirked with a laugh escaping his mouth "I don't get why you and Hyunjin aren't even together yet. I mean you've been liking the guy since 6th grade!" Kiora said joining the conversation, Mila then swung an arm around my shoulder and answered her question for me, "It's because this girl right here, is fully convinced that he doesn't like her back when it's obvious from the way Hyunjin looks at her." Mila rolled her eyes with an annoyed tone seeping through her words "I'm not wrong though!" I fought back but it seems like no one bought it. "Well, I don't get why you guys continue to ship us when he doesn't even like me back!" I questioned back at them "HE LIKES YOU!!" they all shouted at me at once which made me stumble back ever so slightly. 

"What the actual fuck you guys?!" I yelled at them while poking my pinky into my ear, I then snapped my fingers next to my ears to make sure that I haven't gone deaf. "You and Hyunjin are so dense that it hurts to even watch you guys talk face to face." Killua shook his head as he pinched the bridge of his nose "For the last time, he doesn't like me!" I yelled at them but was soon met with a flying book aimed at my face, I was quick enough to duck away "Who threw that?!" I asked looking back at them and realised that it was Mila who already left my side "I thought that if a book was flung to your face then MAYBE you would see how he likes you back." she blankly shrugged "Oh well, there's always next time." she shrugged and sat at her seat, I took her book that she had thrown and set it on her desk and sat next to her. 

---

"Hey Mrs Hwang!!" Changbin hyung called out to me when I was walking through the hallway, "Really hyung?" I asked as I cocked my head to the side with an eyebrow raised "It's not my fault that you both are a great duo and that you guys should start dating soon." Changbin shrugged as he walked by my side "How's things with Hyunjin?" he asked as if I was actually dating him, I sighed "We haven't been talking in a while." I answered him as we both continued to walk and he kept asking questions as if he wanted to know every detail about my non-existent relationship with Hyunjin. 

"For the last time, Hyunjin and I are just friends and we will never date!" I answered as I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, suddenly he stopped walking and placed an arm in front of me making me abruptly stop. "Changbin hyung?" I asked as I looked over at him, he was looking in a certain direction, "Y/n... Hyunjin doesn't have a sister does he?" he asked suddenly, a memory of Hyunjin telling me that he's a single child flashed through my mind "No, why?" I asked as he pointed in the direction that he was looking over at. 

It was Hyunjin... hugging another girl. Jealousy rose in the pit of my stomach "Who's she?" I managed to force the words out of my mouth, Changbin hyung must have sensed the forceness in my voice "I... I uh I don't know." Changbin hyung managed to mutter out. When Hyunjin and the girl pulled away from their hug I saw a look in his eyes. It was different than the ones I was used to see from him. It held warmth, adoration but most of all... love. I felt like crying my eyes out, Hyunjin was giving someone a look that I had prayed that he would look at me with. I knew him well enough to know what he was thinking, he liked her. "I'm... I'm going to go." I softly spoke, any louder than that and I was sure that Changbin hyung would hear my voice shake and crack. He couldn't even reply before I turned around and started walking to the girl's toilet. I locked myself in one of the stalls and leaned on the wall. 

My chest tightened when it finally hit me, Hyunjin has a crush. He likes someone. But that someone isn't me... I felt tears building up in my eye sockets and I covered my mouth to deny any sounds to escape 'Why Hyunjin? Why her? Why not me? What did I do wrong? Haven't I waited long enough for you?' I thought to myself as I felt the tears running down my face. 'Please... I want to be the one made for you, I want to be the one that you can trust, someone you can show your tears to, someone whom you will not hesitate to show any signs of weakness, someone you would rather die than ever hate, the one that makes your day, the one you think about as you lie awake, the one that you wake up to see every day, the one that you want to spend your life with, the one that you smile every day for, the one that you invite home for dinner, the one that your friends call whenever you're having a bad day, the one that you hug when you want to escape it all, the one that you contact whenever you feel uncomfortable, the one that you would let the world burn for, the one that you would take my hand whenever you feel nervous or anxious about anything, the one that you would take out for dates no matter how easily planned it was,' I chocked on my tears as I continued my train of thoughts 'the one that you would cuddle to bed with, the one that you would instantly get worried for if I got injured or was missing for just a few minutes, the one that you know everything about until if anyone asked you a question about me you wouldn't even need to think of an answer, the one that you promised to stay by my side and never leave, the one that you would never hesitate to fight anyone for, the one that you would swear to protect, the one that you would proudly show off to everyone, the one that you wouldn't mind pausing your game for, the one that you would go for if you needed any comfort or advice, the one that you would hold tightly and close if I was ever sad or going through something, the one that you would never raise your voice to, the one that you would believe in any argument that I was in, the one that you swear to love forever and the one that you want to spend the remaining years of your life with.' 

'Why does this hurt so much?' I thought to myself as I tried to wipe my tears away, only for them to be replaced by another round of tears which were followed by multiple more rounds. 'I waited for you for so long, and yet I will never be the one that you want.' I thought to myself as I felt my legs wobble and give up on me. Too tired to even hold myself up. I allowed myself to sink closer to the ground as I buried my head into my knees 'Despite all those years of waiting around for you, I will never be the one that is written next to your name in God's list.' I thought to myself as I placed a hand on my head. I thought back to all the times that our friends tried to convince me that he liked me back, I chuckled but I still felt shitty and sick

 "Oh, how I want to believe what they say."