21| Breaking Down

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By the time Seonghwa had made it home, he was dripping wet from top to bottom. His hair clung to his face uncomfortably and droplets of rain fell from his cheeks and nose. He dabbed at them with the back of his hand but that was wet too. He then unlocked his apartment door and locked it again, flipping the light switch on and releasing a cold breath.

It was late at night already, he wasn't even sure what time it was but he knew that he should've come home a lot sooner. After he left the cemetery, he didn't get back in his car but instead wandered around aimlessly in the rain. He couldn't explain the numbness he felt after hearing his father had stopped by his mother's grave this morning.

He should've been happy, happy that even after remarrying he didn't forget about his first wife. The woman who bore his first child and showed him what the word family meant. But no, Seonghwa felt sick to his stomach. Even now his hands were trembling slightly from the anger he felt for the man.

His father never deserved his mother.

She was too good for him.

He had no right to pretend like the caring man he wasn't.

Just thinking about it made the feeling resurface. He tried so hard to calm down from it but it was no use. It was just there circulating in his mind until his breathing became uneven, almost like he was having an anxiety attack.

Lex made a move to jump down from her jungle gym and comfort her distressed owner but paused just in time as the sound of glass breaking resonated throughout the apartment. Seonghwa threw his keys down on the table only for them to hit against the lamp Jimin had sent him for storage. It was already sitting on the edge of the living room table and with the small force it fell to the floor in broken pieces.

Seonghwa sighed, guessing he had to replace it before his cousin found out. But right now, he couldn't care less. He felt tears form and fall from his eyes. He fell to the floor with his back against the nearest wall, his face buried in his knees and his arms around his legs in a hug.

He didn't know why he was crying, but it felt like something he really needed to do. He let more tears cascade down his cold cheeks. The rain on his skin mixing with the warm wetness as he finally tried to get a grip and take in deep breaths.

Except when he inhaled all he could smell was the scents of San and Wooyoung, his apartment was filled with their smell. It was subtle to him because he was always around them. It had mingled with his own very subtle beta scent until he couldn't tell the difference anymore. But now, when he needed it the most to try and soothe himself it was all too obvious as it lingered in the air.

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