me and him (atsushi x dazai)

chapter 26 ew what the hell

LONGER CHAPTER :3

bro these chapters are being dry as my dick, I need more nicknames

______

Atsushi POV

Fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, I accidentally picked up a rat. A fucking rat, like no. I do not want to pick up a rat that has STDs, like kill yourself

This is even worse then brushing emo ugly whore with a 3'7 bitch with Ed Sheeran hair, or akutagawa hair, like bro it sounds like a peanut getting crushed by a meat grinder at a my little pony convention

That's how bad picking up a rat is

But my daughter sister thing.. Was laughing at me for my face, it looked like fucking Jeff the killer, but one. I don't have black hair, two I don't murder people, yet, other then that the rat jumped at me, and I screamed like a little girl

So... I might have disappointed poison, and I need a shower that has bleach in it or something

This day isn't my day, it's a bad luck day... Wait what does the paper say-

JK JK, THEY AIN'T ACTRESS

Today isn't my day, it's a terrible day, I want to throw myself out the window of a 9 feet building and die because that what's happens when you touch a rat

They can suck my dick for all I care.

A very cutie patootie hour later by Mexican rat

I don't know what to make, maybe cookies? I don't know, and then j get a text from little bitch boy that's emo and is paler the a piece of paper

Emo goth bitch that's dating Ed Sheeran : bro I saw yo man's kissing a young lady

Sunset Cutie patootie : say what now.

Emo goth bitch that's dating Ed Sheeran : I was at the mall with my own man's and we were at hot topic and we both saw yo man's kissing some white ass girl

Sunset cutie patootie : holy smokes that's actually crazy imagine cheating

Emo goth bitch that's dating Ed Sheeran : ikr, anyways I gotta go bcz I have history class -_-

Sunset cutie patootie : alr

And just like that, I put down my phone and knew what to make, poison cookies!

In my opinion if you cheat, you might lose your life or end up in the hospital<3

Lmaoo this is so real

So I got the cookie bake bag thingy, and coke and peanut butter, which half killed Ross last time this happened, but this time I won't fail

So! Take to make cookies

Skip this whole part by Mexican clown

After I was done I put the cookies in the oven for 1 hour<3, if I get caught I'mma just say, 'but your honor I'm just a boy🎀' or something like that, which is good enough to not get me in trouble like last time, last time was something else because me and ranpo gotta into some trouble with a mafia but we ended up blowing up the place some how.

Anyways I cutely picked up some milk and poured a glass of it and mixed the cookies in it, it turned brown, looked like chocolate milk, thankfully, so now we grab a piece of bread and put the 'milk' on it,

Once that's done we add jelly and a tiny sharp object and add it

I remember every single detail of anything I did last time!

Now put the bread in the freezer and wait 5 minutes, then take it out and get the other bread you made and wait 2 minutes then put it in a bread bowl and wait for it to dry, onces it dry like a girl on a Monday night, or like Lucy

Now put the bread in a bread magic maker, because what else can you do? and then put that down to set for 2 hours!, after done you make the circle thingy or something like that, you then put the bread in the middle and now boom you have poisoned cookies

I should make be a artist fr

Now! Put the cookies to the side and hope no one other then the person you hate eats it. Hmm this is actually fun to do when your board and have a ex.

"What to do now... "

And then I got a idea, why not fuck someone? I mean it's fair when someone cheats on you like 'restrict my airflow father!' Or whateva people back then called it

Guys help I'm in gym

Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do tho 😔 because life isn't fair at all, but  cheating = cheating, and you would never say 'man shut yo bitch ass up you sad whore' in my face<3 and if you did I'll find you and pull off yo wig and if you don't have one I'll rip off your hair<3

I am so cool fr. I didn't take care of myself and ranpo for nothing! But deadass I need to find someone to fuck that's over the age of 18...or something, I am not a groomer and a Minecraft YouTuber that just hit 1m. I am autistic.

LET ME COOK FR! (Bro we are in the 2000's why da FUCK am I using 2024 words, oh wait it's my story I can do anything I want<3)

Istg I'll jump someone, maybe dazai?, nah emo hoe, and I'll fuck dazai

How do y'all feel about atsushi being a top?

Anyways in the next chapter is when most things happen so stay tuned and safe!

Words: 929