♡//Holding My Breath//♡

God May Judge Me, But His Sins Out Number Mine.

• ED (Anorexia)
• Sexual Jokes/Actions
• Skk
• Cheating
• R4P3!!!
• Fight/Depictions Of Blood And Violence
• Fyodor
• Dazai
• Suicide Jokes
• Suicide Attempts
• Panic Attack

It was unfair. It was always unfair. From the time dazai entered the cafeteria, he felt sick. But he wouldn't let it show. He got his food, like everyone else. Sat down, just like everyone else. He wasn't doing this out of habit, or out of instinct, because he was never like anyone else. He wasn't anybody, he wasn't nobody. Mostly because he wasn't human. Or so he tells himself. He eats and laughs, but inside? If anyone else felt like this, they would've gone mad a long, long time ago. Could he even be called a he? Or was he just simply an...it? A living organism, unfortunately. He wasn't human. Because a human couldn't, wouldn't act like this. Everyone has some compassion. They have to have some weakness, something. A weakness, a strength, a hobby, a like, a dislike. Dazai only says he has these things. In reality, he has no opinion. He doesn't think, at will at least. He's forced to think. Forced to be in this pile of flesh and muscle. And, there goes his appetite. Well, it wasn't even there to start. Dazai hates the idea of having something in him. The though that this food was going through his digestive system and breaking down into fulfilling matter. He doesn't even like the thought of anatomy. His flesh, his muscles, his organ, his bones. It was all disgusting to him. He excuses himself from the table.

On his way to the restroom, he crashes into a girl. A girl that he doesn't quite recognize, but knows that she's in a general studies class. Huh. She's cute. Silverish blonde hair, dark hazel eyes, fairly pale with freckles. Her uniform skirt was a bit longer than usual, probably a custom add on. She gets back up, dusting herself off before stammering an apology. Before she can run off, Dazai grabs her arm.

"Wait."

He takes the girl to an empty classroom and covers her mouth. "You're gonna get me off."
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Once the bell rings, Dazai gets dressed back up and leaves the girl there. He'd lost his morals long ago. Aftercare, he gave that to Chuuya. But he'd also wait for consent from Chuuya most times. It's not like he wasn't used to things like this being forced onto him. Doesn't matter anymore. He left the girl crying on the ground.

He went back to class, feeling less than satisfied. He slouched in his desk chair, sighing. Did he feel bad? No. He didn't know the girl. He simply did not care. He cares for Oda. Chuuya. Ango. And that's all. Everyone else is collateral damage.

He'd face the consequences later.
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He noticed that Chuuya wasn't in class. Strange. Dazai leaves to go find his ginger. He checks a few rooms, including both of their dorms. Huh. Nothing? He heads up to the rooftop where he finds Chuuya and Fyodor.

"What're you doing, rat?" He spits out, taking a few steps closer to Fyodor. "Oh, so you made it. You're late." The Russian taunts, holding Chuuya by his throat. Chuuya could've used his ability, but there's the thing. The rooftop. He was terrified of heights. How ironic. And patronizing, but he didn't have time to think about that. His heavy, panicked breathing combined with Fyodor's tight grip wasn't such a good situation for him. He was dizzy and scared. He recalls the day when Verlaine threatened to push him off a roof so he'd "be free from the Mafia". Shit like that really sticks.

"Let him go." Dazai demands, fingers dipping into his back pocket to reach for his knife. "Don't even, or I'll push him off." Fyodor warns, his grip on Chuuya tightening. "Jesus Christ, what do you want?" Dazai scowls, glaring at Fyodor. "Simple. Your demise." Fyodor smirks menacingly, nails digging into Chuuya's throat. "Trust me, I do too." Dazai rolls his eyes, putting his free hand on his hip. "You can't get rid of me, Fyodor, and you know it. Let. Him. Go. This is between you and I. Chuuya has nothing to do with this, okay?"

Fyodor flows before pushing Chuuya towards the brunette. "You can have him. He was never any use to me anyhow." Dazai picks the now unconscious ginger up, carrying him away.
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Hey pooks!! Sorry for not posting in a long time ( ´-ω-)

Been a bit busy and such, but I'm back! I hope you enjoyed ♡♡♡

☆ words: 764 ☆