Deadly

17.

Celestia

I've been at the penthouse for two weeks

I usually sleep for a day or two then go on a job come back get pissed out of my mind and pass out again

Luckily I haven't had any jobs for Charles so far, so i haven't had to worry about the team

...well i haven't had to be worried about what i could do to the team

I've texted Chris when i've felt better but not Saint. I know he's sent me voicemails and texts but i've only recently realised that I like him and I don't want to fuck it up before anything even starts

I like him more than just for a fuck every now and then, i actually like him

I don't want to manipulate him, I don't want to ruin his life, I don't want to hurt him

I want to be happy, I want to be happy with him, I want to wake up to him everyday and kiss him whenever I can, I want to hold his hand when we go out and introduce him as my boyfriend to other people

I want him to be mine and I want to be his

I did a background check on Fifi a few days after I met her

She's 22, she works in sales, she recently moved out of her moms house and her dad is long gone

She's clear

We met up a few days ago and I told her my real name

I just came up with some random excuse that she luckily believed

We went out for lunch not long ago and I actually really like her

She's funny, bubbly and kinda dumb but in a charming way, not a way that makes me want to kill her

honestly she's the exact opposite of me but it works

I've been taking my medication everyday and I have honestly started to feel more like myself again

It gets worse before it gets better

I'm calmer, i've been having less 'incidents' and honestly I just want my papà to give me a hug

I decided that next week i'll go home

...well it's what i'm aiming for anyway

Right now i'm shopping, of course, and trying not to explode on this store assistant

"Miss if your not going to buy anything can you just leave?" she asks chewing her gum obnoxiously in my face

I chuckle darkly and shake my head, looking back at the sunglasses

she groans and rolls her head before going back to the counter

I head straight to the managers door

"oi you can't go back there!" she screams after me

"ah Miss De Niro is there a problem?" Mr Sanders, the manager asks

He used to work for my father but when he had children he wanted out of the mafia so we helped him get a good paying job at one of our allies' stores

I walk up closer to him and whisper darkly "Right now I am not Miss De Niro Sander, right now i am La Vipera" my tongue rolls

he gulps and nods

"good, you should get your workers in line Sanders; I am one stanky look away from creating a bloody mess in your store and you will be the one to deal with it"

"of course i'm so sorry i'll fire her immediately" he nods ferociously

i pat his shoulder "i'll handle her but next time I expect better"

"yes, i'm sorry"

i hum and leave

I walk up to the girl and grab her by the hair, pulling her out the back door

"what the fuck are you doing you crazy bitch!" she screeches

"oh baby" i chuckle "the craziest"

I push her against the floor, taking out one of my larger knives from my bag

I straddle her, keeping her down before stabbing her harshly in her arm, dragging the knife down as she screams

"oh shut up" i groan, stuffing her scarf into her mouth

I stab her side, her yells muffled by the scarf

i pull it back out and trace her face with the tip of the blade

"you are so-"

"Celestia?" I get cut off

I whip my head to the side seeing Saint in the opening of the alley

"shit" i curse and quickly stab the girl in the neck, twisting it before hopping up as Saint walks over

Calm down calm down calm down

i repeat in my head

I take a deep breath and turn to him with a wide smile

he smiles back as i jump into his arms

he chuckles and wraps my legs around his waist, one of his large hands resting under my ass

"hi baby" he smiles

"hello" i say cheerily

"what are you doing?" he asks looking at the dead, bloody body slumped on the floor and back to my red stained dress

"I killed her" i say with a smile

"i can see that, why?"

"she was rude" i shake my head

he hums "I thought you were out of the country?"

"i was, I came back last night but i'm super busy for the next week or so" I lie

he nods and kisses my cheek

"what are you doing here?" i tilt my head

"I was having a meeting and when I left I heard screaming, came here and saw you killing a girl"

I nod and stuff my face into his neck

"you smell good" i mumble into his skin

he chuckles, i feel the vibrations against me "thank you princess, your happy today"

the hand on his shoulder tightens

stop it stop it stop it

I don't stop

"Baby what- ow Celestia what are you doing"

It's almost like I snap out of a trance

my eyes widen and I jump off him

"i'm sorry" i whisper, tears forming in my eyes

he steps closer to me and I step back

"hey, it's okay" he says gently as reaches for me

I flinch away and walk backwards

i sniffle and he crouches in front of me, his eyes soften

he puts his hands on my waist and pulls me into him

I claw at his arms to let me go but he doesn't

"let me go" i grit

i let out a breath and knee his stomach before twisting his arm and running away before i can hurt him more

I run all the way to the penthouse, past the guards strange looks and lock myself in

I slide to the floor and sob, gripping my hair, my head in my knees

until I cry myself to sleep