Sinking In The Deep End - Chanlix

Five

I'm sinking in the deep end,
I'll just try to cry myself to sleep,

"Lix? Are you ready?" Chris asked his boyfriend, knocking lightly on the door of his bathroom. It was about 2 weeks after they had given themselves the 'boyfriends' label and they were at Chris' apartment early in the morning on a Saturday, getting ready to go out on their 'first official date'. They didn't make too much of a deal out of this 'date' and they saw it as more of just a nice day out, in a more 'interesting' part of Sydney. It was the older boy's idea, so Felix didn't know very much about what they were planning to do (not that Felix had much experience in that kind of thing anyway).

"Almost!" Felix called out in reply, scrambling to pick up the pace. He didn't quite know what to wear so he had asked Chris if he could borrow some of his clothes and of course, Chris couldn't say no to his boyfriend for something so simple! "This looks massive on me!" The boy yelled from inside his boyfriend's bathroom.

"I'm sure you look perfect, just hurry up before we miss the bus!" Chris chuckled, waiting for his boy to open the door and show him his look. The elder had decided to wear black cargo jeans paired with a large white hoodie that had black writing printed across it.

Felix opened the door and revealed his outfit. A pair of sage green jeans that weren't technically baggy but looked baggy on Felix, along with a black hoodie with white writing (that 'unintentionally' matched Chris) and his long (ish) hair tied back into a small ponytail. Felix looked slightly nervously at his boyfriend, who was (in the nicest way possible) literally gawking at him.

"Do I..." Felix hesitated, "Look okay?"

"Okay??" Chris' exclamation somewhat startled the younger. "Did you just ask me if you look okay??"

"Um, yes?" Felix giggled a little bit at the older boy's antics.

"Excuse me??" Chris said, louder than intended. "You look absolutely incredible!"

"In jeans and a hoodie?"

"Yeah! You look so handsome." Chris grinned, picking up his pre-packed bag and whipping it onto his shoulders.

"Wait..." Felix realised with a slightly annoyed smirk, "Are we matching?"

"OH NO! We're gonna miss the bus!" Chris sarcastically yelled, grabbing Felix's hand and dragging him out his pre-unlocked apartment door. He locked it rapidly behind him and ran dramatically fast down the endless steps, never letting go of Felix's hand.

They were, in fact, not going to miss the bus because when they arrived at the stop, the bus was five minutes away from arriving. After five minutes of waiting, obviously the bus arrived and the two hopped on. Chris paid for both of their tickets, despite Felix arguing that he did have some money and could pay. Chris just lightly shoved him away and told him to find somewhere to sit.

"I don't think anyone we know is gonna be there, so it'll feel like just us." Chris explained, gazing out the window. He sat beside Felix, who caught the window seat, as they headed towards their destination.

"That sounds great, i'm really curious about what we're gonna do." Felix spoke, smiling at his boyfriend.

"Well, just a little warning." Chris began, "It can get a bit busy most places so if you wanna hold my hand... I won't stop you." He smirked which made Felix laugh. "But anyway, the main place I want to take you is most likely gonna be pretty quiet."

"It sounds perfect, Chris." Felix turned back to the window, placing a hand on Chris' thigh.

When they finally arrived at their stop, after a 15 minute bus ride with the view of trees, buildings, people and well the usual, bustling world outside of their bubble.

"Okay but nooow can you tell me where we're going?" Felix whined, dragging out the 'now' to express just how desperate he was to find out.

"Well we're here, so..." Chris said, after guiding Felix through the people towards their destination by his hand and stopping directly in front of it. "It's an art museum I used to go to when I was younger, with my parents. I haven't actually come here since they y'know."

"Thank you so much, for bringing me here and for feeling comfortable enough to do this with me."

"Of course, my love." Chris smiled, calling Felix a nickname he had never called the boy before.

"M-my love?" Felix stuttered a bit, the nickname catching him way off guard.

"Yes, my love." Chris briefly squeezed Felix's hand, guiding him into the museum.

They were immediately greeted by a unique entrance room, where you bought tickets or showed proof that you payed online.

"Hello, how can I help you two lovely young boys today?" The young woman behind the main desk smiled, greeting the two politely. The desk was an bright purple, with quirky looking plants on each end and leaflets scattered across the front, behind it was a computer and obviously, the young woman. On the back wall was a mural, it represented the gorgeous beaches of Sydney and Australia and it looked incredible.

"Can we please get two tickets to the pride art experience?"

"Of course, that'll be 35 dollars please." The woman replied to Chris, who payed and thanked the woman.

"You're confused aren't you?" Chris smiled at the younger, who just nodded. "I wanted to bring you here anyway, so I did some research and I found out about the pride experience here. We both grew up learning that it's wrong to be gay and like people of the same gender, you especially. Yet here we are, loving someone of the same gender and it's almost perfect. I thought this would help us, especially you, understand that it's okay to be us. Without thinking about your parents or anyone else who says who we are is wrong, just eachother and ourselves." He explained, figuring out their way to the third floor, where the experience was held.

"I love you, so much. Oh my god." Felix chuckled, "Thank you for this, darling."

"I love you too and you're welcome, my love." Chris grinned, as they finally walked out onto the third floor after flirting in the elevator.

"Wow..." Felix's jaw had dropped the moment they walked in the room. They were surrounded by colour and love. Hanging sculptures floating above their heads, paintings symbolising different queer lives everywhere they looked. The best part however? It was just them, with the space to love eachother and understand who they were all alone.

"It's so beautiful... Ooh, look at this one Lix." Chris summoned his boyfriend to his side, wrapping his arm around the boy's shoulders. The painting hanging on the wall in front of them was one that depicted something Chris and Felix could understand in their own way. It was a drawing of two boys kissing in what appeared to be a bubble, hidden away from all the hatred that is symbolised with black scribbles and jumbled up letters around them.

"It's...a bit like us." Felix spoke, quiet and soft.

"Yeah, I guess." Chris muttered back, guiding them both towards the next piece of artwork. "This one is pretty too." He smiled, admiring the work. It was simply the words 'This Is Me And I Am Valid' written on it, the colours of a pride flag Felix couldn't recognise splashed in splots around it.

"Are those the colours of a pride flag?"

"Yep, the gay man flag. I think it's me, if i'm honest." Chris said, his arm not moving from his spot around Felix's slim body. "I only like boys, especially one certain boy." Chris 'booped' Felix's nose cutely, causing the younger to giggle.

"I think it might be me too. I think I'm gay." Felix voiced, pecking Chris' lips.

"Yeah?" Chris smirked, softly placing his lips against Felix's. The two blended like chemistry, everything else in the world shutting down for them the moment their lips touched. "I'm so proud of you and how far you've you've come, Felix." He whispered when they seperated, his breath whistling against Felix's lips.

"Really?" Felix asked, gazing into his boyfriend's eyes.

"Oh one billion percent, my beautiful Lix."