Sinking In The Deep End - Chanlix

Eleven

Now I'm truly all alone in this world,
I miss the way you felt so close to my bones,

"I can't get out of explaining this, can I?" Minho whispered to his partners, as they laid in bed together the next morning. After he negotiated with Felix to let him explain it all the next day.

"Nope." Hyunjin spoke truthfully, harsh yet still truthful. He climbed out of bed and got changed, the two boys laying in the bed unfased at the sights they had seen many a time before.

"Felix deserves to know who he truly is, Min. And as his brother, it's your job to tell him that information." Jisung added, standing up and dragging the eldest of his boyfriends out of bed. Hyunjin, Jisung and Minho took years of love triangles and pain to understand that they were polyamorous, yet they wouldn't change it for the world.

"Yeah, Sungie's right. You know more about his past than he does himself." Hyunjin continued, wrapping his arms around Minho's waist. He kissed the boy's nose, who responded by pecking the taller's lips softly.

"Hey! My turn!" The youngest snuck himself between the two boys, who doused him with short, sweet kisses all over his face.

"Minho! It's time!" Seungmin called up the stairs. There were 3 floors; the first one, which was just used as an entrance, the second one was the main floor and the top floor which had all the bedrooms.

"You're doing this for 8 year old Felix. For 10 year old Minho who lost his brother and for 18 year old Minho who has found him again. For 16, or 17 I can't remember... year old Felix, who's finding himself again." Hyunjin whispered in his lover's ear, placing a hand onto Jisung's hip as they nudged the older forward.

"Come on, Min. You can do this. For your best friend." Jisung spoke, melting into Hyunjin's touch.

"Who? Felix?" Minho turned his head to look at the younger, a look of confusion on his face.

"No, Chris." Jisung muttered, the trio of lovers stepping down the stairs and into the lounge where Felix sat. The Australian boy's emotions were unreadable.

"Are you ready, Felix?" Minho spoke, hesitant and full to the brim with nerves and honestly, fear.

"Why are you acting like this is gonna change the way I see my entire life's experiences?" Felix joked, chuckling slightly at his joke that was only a 'joke' to Felix.

"Because it might, Felix. This is serious." Changbin said, the smile on the freckled boy's features fading.

"What do you mean?"

"Just let Minho explain, please." Jeongin spoke, the odd atmosphere of the room intensifying.

"Well?" Felix looked at his brother expectantly. He was awaiting, said explanation.

"Well..." Minho began, "Our parents were all in a group of basically psychopaths. They were a messed up teen friend group that eventually ended up becoming parents but none of them wanting us, despite most of them having more than one kid. They wanted us dead but didn't want to pay the price if they did it themselves directly or got someone else to do it. So they basically thought that if they destroyed our mental healths and deprived us of love and emotion from a young age or that if they turned ourselves against us that we'd either do it ourselves or to eachother. You were born in Australia, Felix. As was Chan, or as you know him, Chris. But you were both brought here young, to this very place. We all suffered here together with our parents here too. Until one by one they either got arrested or died themselves. You were taken back to Australia at 8 years old, and our parents wiped your memory of any of this or us. Why? Because you would never follow their rules or go by their word, they feared you'd turn against them. Especially our parents, who left me here and took you away. They taught you these cruel things again but in a different enviroment, with a level of mind control against you so it worked. Chris went back to Australia after his parents passed to find his sister, who he was seperated from. Hannah was taken into care in Sydney and lived seperately to us with Hyunjin's sister Yeji by the only good person of all our parents, Hyunjin's dad. Who flew you here, I believe? Luckily he can fly planes. But anyway, when he was there he found an apartment after selling his parent's house in Sydney. He eventually met you, with no idea that you were you. Until after he had fallen in love with you and seen our parents there. Our Mother didn't recognise him specifically, but she knew he was one of us. So she sent him away. He called me after asking Hannah to check on you, leaving a note with this address in the possibility that Hannah and Hyunjin's dad could help you get to us and him. Now, well, here you are. We all, when finally free from our parents, learnt to accept and free ourselves from our trauma and relearn how to live. Any questions?"

"Where's Chris?" Felix asked, looking almost mortified as he processed the endless information he had been given.

"He comes back here at night, but the rest of the day he's nowhere to be seen." Jisung said, wondering what was going on in the freckled boy's mind.

"We need to find him." Felix muttered, not removing his eyes from their fixed position on the wall. He hadn't moved his gaze since before Minho explaining everything.

"Felix?" Seungmin sat down beside the boy, worried about him. "Are you okay?"

"We need to find him."

"Felix, he's fine. He comes back at night. We're asking if you are okay? All this information must be a lot." Hyunjin reassured, trying to get Felix to look at him but the eyes of the Australian remained locked on the wall.

"We need to find him."

"Felix? Come on, please say something else. You're scaring us." Jeongin said, looking around at everyone in the room for some kind of idea on how to help him.

"We need to find him."

"But why? He's okay, he's not hurt." Changbin questioned, genuinally confused.

"He doesn't know I'm here. He said in the note that he 'may not even survive'. Something might happen if we aren't careful." Felix explained, finally turning his eyes to look at each other person in the room.

"He was absolutely heartbroken when he had to leave you, I mean he didn't even get to say goodbye. We can't let it be too late." Minho agreed, his eyes almost pacing the room as he desperately thought of where the older Australian could be.

"He always looked for the good, he always wanted to believe his parents weren't as bad as they were. He loved them no matter what they did, right?" Jisung pointed out, thinking of a place he figured Chan would be.

"So you think he's at his parent's grave?" Minho turned to his youngest boyfriend, a soft smile on both of their faces.

"That would make a lot of sense." Felix added, the determination to find the love of his life filling him as the conversation continued.

"Yeah, and I know where it is. It's with my mum's grave. I don't wanna go though." Hyunjin said.

"You won't have to go, don't worry Jinnie." Minho rubbed the taller's arm empathetically. "But Chan, or Chris, is most likely there."

"Yeah." Felix mumbled and despite his outer appearance, was overflowing with joy and hope.