HB & HH Incorrect Quotes

13 - Val X Vox(I hate them both but I am outta ideas)

Val and Vox are canon. They are in an on and off relationship which has been hinted to be toxic as Val is abusive towards Vox which has yet to be confirmed in the show. I am not a big fan of either but Val better not hurt Vox.

Valentino: Is something burning?
Vox: Just my love for you.
Valentino: Vox, the toaster is on fire.

Valentino: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Vox: Alright, what's 30x17?
Valentino: 47
Vox: That's not even close.
Valentino: But it was fast.

Valentino: Working sucks.
Valentino: I want to be a malewife where my only responsibilities are being sexy and cute.

Valentino: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Vox: wHat?
Valentino: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Vox: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Vox: I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Valentino: Wow. They sound stupid.
Vox: But they're not. They're really smart actually. Just dense.
Valentino: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... "Hey! I love you!"
Vox: I guess you're right. Hey Valentino, I love you.
Valentino: See! Just say that!
Vox: Holy fucking shit.
Valentino: If that flies over their head then, sorry Vox, but they're too dumb for you.
Vox: Valentino.

Vox: Can I ask a dumb question?
Valentino: Better than anyone I know.

Valentino, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Vox: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Vox: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Valentino, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Vox: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!
Vox: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Valentino, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

Valentino: The stars are so beautiful...
Vox: They're just giant balls of gas.
Valentino: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-
Vox: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.
Valentino: Oh...

Valentino: What is the most illegal thing you can do with one gold?
Vox: Exchange it for a hundred copper, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.

Vox: You have your weirdly sincere humility.
Valentino: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

Valentino: My crush isn't picking up on my hints.
Vox: What hints have you given them?
Valentino: Well, I think about them a lot.
Valentino: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

Valentino: Don't preach to me about romance, Vox. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

Vox: Bro-
Valentino: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Valentino: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Valentino: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?
Vox: Your life?
Valentino: I- well yes, but-

Valentino: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.