Written By Emotions

Oh To Be In Love

A collection

"In the labyrinth of the heart, where emotions intertwine like ivy upon ancient ruins, lies the profound beauty of being in love. It's a symphony of sensations, each note resonating with the exquisite melody of passion and longing. Despite the inevitable storms that rage on the horizon, love remains a beacon of light, guiding souls through the darkness with its gentle glow. For in the crucible of love's embrace, even the most profound pain becomes a testament to the depth of our affection, a bittersweet reminder of the extraordinary journey we undertake in the pursuit of true connection."

How much would it take
Just to get you
Just to be with you
Just so I could be yours
Lines I'd probably say one of these days
This poem will serve as the written proof that I am beginning to fall for you
As I continue to write in this
Until the moment that we must part
No matter what
No matter how
For the first time
I will admit
That I truly am falling
And this is the beginning
Let me see
Let me experience
Let me feel
How painful
How warm
And how beautiful it is to be in love

Today, March 10, 2024
Marks the beginning
I felt jealous
Knowing that you enjoy the company of others
Over mine
But I do understand
Even I
Cant even with how boring I am
I am not funny
Nor relatable
But I wish
You'd give me a hug
A long, warm embrace
Enough to melt the glaciers of this painfully cold night
Before we part for this evening
Under the starless night sky
Bombarded with polution of light
Let the moon be the witness
Of how warm I will feel, if

Its March 11, 2024
The day I learned
That you're a dessert for every person that you interact with
That unlike my wild imagination
You are not Cinderella's shoes
That magically fits one person out of everyone
I was beginning to put nonsensical meanings
Into your lovely gestures towards my being
And yet here we are
Here I am rather
Regretting that I even acknowledge you and your cleopatra's scent
But I will continue this
Unlike your farce and mirage
Mine is and would be real
I'm willing to feel everything and anything that comes with it
Even if its like a rose with thorny stems
I'll gladly shead blood, if it meant holding onto you
Gazing into your image
Getting lost into your imperfections
And just like my promise to myself and to you
Whatever you do
Whatever may happen to us
Painful must it be
I will continue, and feel every sensation that your existence will bring to me
It is my choice
And anything and everything that you do
Will be forgiven

March 12
I found out that you had a crush on a girl
I was trying to assume that you were using the word girl as a nickname instead of it being an actual girl
Just because I think I'm that person
But the way you treated me that night says otherwise
Hearing you talk more about this person
The more it sounds so far from what I am
And I might now be covered with the veil of love
Seeing everything that is you
Is somehow everything about me
But I am still sane enough
To wake myself up
But I would like to feel everything for you, of you
Id gladly hold on to you until the day
There wouldn't be a day
As I plan to hold on to every fiber of your being
The sensation
The emotions
The memories
They will be etched
Carved, in every fiber of my existence
I'd gladly take the fall head on
For you, because of you

March 13
I now have seen a part of you
Its the most hidden one
But its not the most exciting part
I saw prejudice in your eyes
When I try to hold on to you
When I tried hugging you for a long time
Our little moments together
You don't like letting other people see us together
In a manner that would raise suspicion
But, As I've said
Everything you do will be forgiven
I, too, am not perfect
Compare to you, I am the worst
I've made judgements on myself
And there's nothing that you could say that would surprise me
In my eyes, knowing you, part by part
Piece by piece
But our differences might be too big
To even see the picture of us in that sense
But I'm willing to adjust
And change some things about me, that I can
But i am thankful to you
For bringing a new experience to me

March 14
You made me confess
And so did you
I wanted to turn this into something much more
You wanted it to end even before trying
Maybe because you don't like where this is going
Or maybe its the sole fact that you no longer want me
After letting you see the surface of me
You no longer want to dive in
But I do get it
When the water is already filled with dirt
What are the chances that at its deepest, is also filled with much worse waste?
Would you take the risk? And get to the bottom of it
Knowing that along the way
You might get caught, and not be able to resurface?
Or knowing that along the way, sharp objects might hurt you beyond repair?
Would you take all that risk, not knowing, that maybe at its deepest, darkest part is nothing desirable?
Not something you would want, at least
That's why, when I said, I understand, I truly do
Its too late for me
But save yourself
I dont know if this marks the end of what we are
If we even have something going on
But Its too late for me
Im falling deeper and deeper
Even as you guided me through your red stained carpet
I still walked with you,
And found myself falling even more
For how honest you are
About yourself
Something I wish can truly do
Without these poems, and recollection
I might never be able to say how I truly feel
But Im falling for you
And painful as it is
This love is beautiful

I only have 5 day entries in here and yet here we are, almost at the end of it, when it hasn't even begun yet

March 15
This probably is the last time
That we talked
And its not even a proper talk
You shut me down
For every time that I get serious
And you
Just because your feelings have faded
Mine is starting to grow
You're toying with mine
It seems like you like getting my attention
Without the commitment
You confessed when your feelings had faded
And I confessed when my feelings were growing
You had me
And you actually did
You wanted me to stop my feelings
While still trying to bait me
Giving me a sip
Knowing that I am thirsty and looking for it
You give me a sip
Whenever I'm fading
Trying to manipulate
But i made myself a victim
And regardless of everything
I am still
Thankful
That even for a second
You had your eyes on me
And with that
For that
I am gratefull
Tomorrow
Might mark
The very last interaction
I would have with you
And Im scared
Even though Im in pain
And the feelings are still fresh
My feelings for you might fade
But itll never go away

March 18
All i have for 16th and 17th are pain
And confusion
And hopelessness
As you've told me
That there's no longer a path
Where we meet
While I try to keep up with yours
Yours is already merging with the path of others
While I stay alone
Watching you
If you'll ever come around
And meet with mine again
We did something incredible last night
Something that added a gas on this raging flame
I was ecstatic
You were nonchalant
It was a special day for me
It was a day to day thing for you
It was an act of love and desperation
It was just a short pleasure for you
I see it
The way you acted
The way i reacted
It was passionate for me
It was just a release for you
You even asked me to be your toy
And i was willing to
Just to keep you
Just to have something with you
Just so I could have you

March 27
I am putting an end to this
It was a beautiful thing
To be in love
To be liked
Even if its for a short time
I felt good
You made me in love
And its such a beautiful feeling
Just like with roses
Thorny as it maybe
Stil beautiful
Things might've ended before it even began
But my feelings will linger
Your image will stay clearly
Your scent forever stays
I am grateful to you
You made me feel things
That i never felt before
And probably wont ever
Not again
So thank you
Before i leave this realm
I felt the only thing that i have always wanted
To be liked
So thank you
Christian
It was short
But lovely