Jordan's Mind

Update number 1

Hey guys, this is more of an update on my life. That is if any of you actually read this story haha. 

So uh okay. Update, let's see. It's currently about 4 in the morning on July 24, 2015. Hey, it's Mitch Grassi and Ricky Ficarelli's birthdays haha! They're getting so old, ugggh. 

So, let's see. I still feel like a man. I've been trying to figure out my sexuality, and haven't been doing well on that. I'm in a relationship, which I'm not 100% happy in. Um, I'm still depressed with how my life is right now. I still don't feel accepted by my family. I haven't came out to everyone yet, mainly because family won't let me. 

Oooo, topic! So yeah, my parents won't let me go by male pronouns nor the name Jordan. Like, I understand them not wanting to call me those but like can't other people? I mean, I can't complain because they didn't like kick me out or whatever. But like, I don't know. It bothers me a lot. Like, my parents are older people so like, they grew up in a totally different time so their views are different than mine. They also aren't queer in any way, so they don't understand that. But like, even my sister is siding with them and she's queer herself, so it kinda like, hurts I guess? I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting about all this and just need to calm down.

Anyways, like I said, I'm not out. And I'm not really happy. I haven't really been eating or doing anything because I've writing so much, so maybe this, Wattpad, isn't a good thing for me after all? I don't know, I love to write though so I don't care. and before anyone says this is unhealthy, I do what I need to get by. So I do eat as I need to and drink lots of water and stuff so I won't die.

But on a happier note, we're almost at 500. And it's almost been 2 years since ABAY came out, and I really wanna celebrate for it, but I don't know. If there's anything y'all want me to do, tell me and I'll see what I can do. So uh, yeah. I don't know what else to talk about so I'll just leave y'all here. I'll try to update this more often for y'all to see what's going on in my head but I don't know. It's difficult to put stuff like this out there so like, yeah. 

I love you guys!!!!!!!!!