Jordan's Mind

I don't know what to call this...

Okay... So, I've been feeling hated at school and with my close friends. It's not you guys but it's my best friends. It's the people I've known for a long time. I try to be nice, I usually am, but it feels like no one at school likes me. I have one, ONE, person to talk to and they won't necessarily judge me, we'll call him Ant. But recently, Ant and I haven't been talking a lot. So I really I no one to talk to. I can't be who I really am at school because I'm so fucking weird. I'm just... but the thing is... I'm starting to act the way I do at school at home. I'm sad and  miserable. 

So, if you're American or formerly lived in the states, you know about football. And if you have any type of social, you know about the Super Bowl yesterday(February 2, 2014). And how the Seahawks, or my home state's team won. Now, I hate that team because everyone talks about them. Now, I'm watching myself and making sure I don't go crazy. So I post on Facebook about how the Seahawks are calling themselves World Champs. Now, football is mainly in the states so how can you call yourself World Champs if half the world doesn't watch/play the sport? Please answer me this. Also, if you say I'm hating on the Seahawks, I admit they played a damn good game yesterday. They had the spirit and the luck to win. And there's my other topic.

Ok, so you may not agree with me but football, or any sport to be exact, is only a game of chance. Now let's use... baseball as an example. You never know if you'll actually hit the ball. Or catch it. So it's a game of chance. Basketball, you don't know if you'll make the basket or block the shot, game of chance. Football, you don't know if you'll make it to the end zone, game of fucking chance. See? Every sport is a game of chance.

Ok... so this is more of the sad part of this whole thing... So um... recently I told my friends that I'm bisexual... this is true but I didn't want anyone to know. But then it felt like they didn't support me in this... so I'm just... I don't know. I think I'm just really depressed and confused. I can't tell my family because my sister is bisexual and they don't really want that... so why would they accept me? They'd think it's only a phase and not support me. So I'm just really really sad at the time. I've told a few of my friends at school and it seems only one really tried to help me through this. I'm just... god. I feel like I can't tell anyone at school because like I don't really trust them. Yet I think itt's more facing them and telling them. Unlike on here where I'll never see who I'm talking to... but yeah.

So I'm asking you guys if you could try to patient and like supportive. It'll be hard to get updates out because Jess quit recently. And she's really the only one I could really talk to. She's know me. And I'm now scared I'm losing the one person who understood me... it's just really hard guys. I hope you understand... Bye.