Jordan's Mind

ADHD

ADHD: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a problem of not being able to focus, being overactive, not being able control behavior, or a combination of these. For these problems to be diagnosed as ADHD, they must be out of the normal range for a person's age and development.

Random Facts:  Imaging studies suggest that the brains of children with ADHD are different from those of  children without ADHD. Most children with ADHD have at least one other developmental or mental health problem, such as a mood, anxiety or substance use disorder; a learning disability; or a tic disorder.

Symptoms: 

Has problems organizing tasks and activities

Fidgets with hands or feet or squirms in seat 

Fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork

Has difficulty keeping attention during tasks or play

Does not seem to listen when spoken to directly

Does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork or chores and tasks

Avoids or dislikes tasks that require sustained mental effort (such as schoolwork)

Often loses toys, assignments, pencils, books, or tools needed for tasks or activities

Is easily distracted

Is often forgetful in daily activities

Leaves seat when remaining seated is expected

Runs about or climbs in inappropriate situations

Has problems playing or working quietly

Is often "on the go," acts as if "driven by a motor"

Talks excessively

Blurts out answers before questions have been completed

Has difficulty awaiting turn

Interrupts or intrudes on others (butts into conversations or games)    

Why am I writing about this? Because I have ADHD. It makes life harder for me. But the main reason is, kids with ADHD or ADD are said to not learned to love or can not love. My mom worried I'd never love her because of it. I do love my family but I'm more worried about never loving anyone else. This might make me sound bad, rude, or a push over but everytime I get asked out I say yes in hope they will help me learn to love. But it never works. But this action has caused me fears. What fears?

Philemaphobia or Philematophobia- Fear of kissing.

Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.

Whenever I date someone I feel like a heartless monster. Because I know that I'm tenically using them. I don't want to. I don't mean to. But it turns out that way. I hate to hurt people. Since I'm not that strong and my punchs are like a flick I'm more scared to hurt people meantally or emotionally then psychically, mainly because it's hard for me to hurt someone psychically. But everytime someone asks me out I feel heartless. Like a robot or machine. 

An effect of ADHD is depression. I'm not 100% sure about this but I'm pretty sure I'm going through depression. I admit my home life or school life isn't that hard. It's actually quite easy, but when it comes to dating or something that can be affected by my ADHD, it's hell. Sometimes.....I wish I wasn't born so I didn't hurt people. Because for me, when I hurt someone I get hurt. And I don't think anyone likes to get hurt. 

But, I'm quite happy that if I am in depression, I'm not that deep yet. By deep I mean sucide. Sucidial thoughts are bad but not the worse. I do admit I have thought about that many times before. I also admit some of them, wouldn't have been worth it. But when you actually take action. Like you actually make the one silly thought real, is where things are out of hand. I'm lucky enough I haven't gotten there yet. I hope I never will, because besides ADHD and being a heartless monster, I enjoy life. I love writing for you guys and making you guys happy. I love making my friends laugh when they're sad. Even with ADHD that won't change.

I hate getting all deep with you guys, but I had to get that off my shoulders. I know not many people are going to care about this but those who do read it thank you for taking your time to listen to my problems. As I said, this may get deep. This book may get rude. But it's my thoughts and feelings, with some of Jess's too. Anyways, that's all I had for this. Bye. Also I did copy and paste some of this, the facts about ADHD were copy and pasted. 

~Myckie