A Cold Day in December

A Cold Day in December Chapter Nine

A Cold Day in December

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Picture of Risto on the side.

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CHAPTER NINE

TROUBLED INSIDE OUT

Do I pity myself? No doubt, I thought. It was getting dark. My favorite time of the day. Dusk. What the hell was I thinking? Rambling inside my head and making strange faces at myself. I was getting crazy, like a real crazy locked- up son of a bitch. My tired legs and sore feet were getting even more tired and sore with every step I made. The cold breeze already numbed me, even the scrapes and bruises I had felt like tiny little ice cubes. Cold and biting ice. Spine- chilling. Bone- breaking. Soul- shattering. Heart- wrenching.

How the mighty have fallen to pieces.

I trudged on. Eyes always looking ahead, breathing steadily and sufficiently. Slipping stealthily into the shadows. I remembered New York. The glittering lights and the bustle of people. The glass windows, the shops, the feeling of exhilaration. Of sharing something with someone: a goal to be achieved at the end of the day. I missed Central Park, the Hudson River, and the skyscrapers of Manhattan touching the sky. The excitement and parties of downtown. Everything. All gone. All miles away in a split instance.

So far gone.

Still walking, I searched for a sign or marker that would tell of where I was. A nearby lamp post illuminated a green sign. Oak street. Oak street? It sounded vaguely familiar. I tossed the name around my head, making sense of it. Oak. I've been here before. Yeah. When was it? Oak. Oak. Oak. I stood under the lamp, bathed in the light, looking up the green sign. Oak Street. A couple minutes more went by before something clicked. Oak Street. Seth. Chelsea. Pond. I shivered. Meddlesome Seth. You told me you'll save me. Where are you now Seth? You're just one of them. I knew it. You're a fraud. Simple as that. Who would rescue you now Eriol?

''Hey!'' The sudden sound startled me out of my wits despite everything. I turned and saw someone standing at a distance. I squinted, but I couldn't make out much, only a silhouette. It could be someone. Someone sent by God to put things to an end. Good for me. Thank you God. Thank- ''Eriol?'' The voice said, breaking into a run towards the light. Towards my fragile being. ''Eriol!'' The voice said one last time before crushing me in a bear hug. Enclosing me in a tight embrace I knew. Warmth and compassion gushed, drowning me. I could die right now. My limp body snuggled closer despite my complaining brain. To the burning white flame. Just for a second, I reasoned. Just for a second. One more second. ''I finally found you,'' he whispered in my ear. His hot breath felt so damn good. I pulled myself a little, looking up at Seth. Then came the surprise.

''Risto?''

''You look surprised. ''

"No! I-I-I'm not," I stuttered, absolutely taken away. But why? Why did he come? Why? "Why?" I finally uttered in a gravelly voice, my eyes doubling in size.

"What why?! You took off without a god-damned jacket and with a burn and you're asking me why?!" He yelled at me, his face all flustered and pink. He handed me the jacket he was gripping, all crumpled and cold, sending me death glares. "Wear your jacket, then I'll drop you home."

I'll drop you home. Home. I had no home. What were you talking about Risto? A home? Right, he was talking about my house. Yeah, right. My big and fancy house. "Right," I rasped absentmindedly, still glued at my place.

"Come on, let me help you with your jacket." He snatched it from me and helped me into it in dead silence. Taking extraordinary care with my injured hand. He was somewhat gentle yet rough at the edges. Tender yet forceful at times. Understanding yet accusing with his smoldering look. He was hard to figure out. Why was I trying to figure him out? Why was I mesmerized with him at that exact moment? Most of all, why was he with me in the first place? Why did he come? "You're skin's too cold. Are you sure you're all right?" I directed my glossy and pensive eyes to his. It was so gray and bare. As if he was letting me see his soul.

His soul.

Why? I stared more. Hoping to see his innermost being. And I saw it. His cracked soul. Shimmering shards and blisters. Beautiful. Devastating. Ironic. Luminous.

"Don't," I croaked, terrified. "Don't."

"What? What are you talking about?What don't?"

And it was all gone. His imprisoned soul locked away again. Just like mine. Gone. Vanished.

"Risto?" I crooned, my fingers suddenly clutching at his shirt. "How?" I was desperate. Desperate to find more. Desperate to learn more. His secrets. His muddled thoughts. His perilous decisions. Everything. All of him. He took all the words right out of my mouth. He was me. I was him. I saw it. So clear. So tangible. He let me in for a moment. Oh God. "How do you do it Risto? I couldn't any longer. Tell me. How?"

He was staring down at me, unconscious of what he did. "I don't understand," he answered.

I sighed and chuckled. I looked beyond his face to the sky. It was an early night. There's still time. "Could you drive me to the mall first before you drop me off to my house?"

"Huh? I guess. Yeah. Sure." He was unsure though. I smiled and let him lead the way to his jeep, parked not too far away.

Goodbye Eriol. The old you would be gone forever.

Could you live with that? A Part of me asked innocently.

Of course.

Of course I could. Goodbye Eriol. Goodbye and never come back.

xxxxx

"Fun," I mumbled, speaking to my reflection in the mirror. A wicked smile playing in my lips, just the way I liked it. This day's gonna be so much fun. I rinsed my hands and watched the tainted water go down the drain. Down and down and down under. I inhaled deeply, taking one last look at myself. The unmistakable glint in my eyes was so hard to hide so I just let it glow and grow. Attracting. Deceiving. Trapping. Burning.

"Hello Eriol," I snickered before turning away and going out of my bathroom to my room, then down the stairs to the living room. I savored every second. Every step. Every little movement. It was an all- new feeling. And I was loving it. Too much. And I didn't give a damn.

No one was at the living room. The steely Monday morning pouring in through the windows was muted and dried. I smiled even more. Nothing could dampen my spirit. Not the weather. Not my parents. Nothing. For the very first time.

The clamor of porcelain and the strong smell of coffee drew me to the kitchen. There they were, sipping coffee and reading the paper, very much at ease and lost in their own worlds. "Good morning!" I chirped happily, taking a seat across from mom. She was elegantly sipping her scalding coffee when she saw me. I wasn't too shocked when she spattered her coffee out of her mouth when she saw me. I looked over my dad and saw him dumbstruck. Well, it couldn't get any worse right? I leaned on the table and said, "I'm up for some toaster waffles today mom."

She dropped her cup and the loud clank made me wince involuntarily. The shrill sound was soon followed by another. She stood up and the screeching friction of wood on tile gave me tingles. "Eriol!" She wailed, mortified beyond measure, her hands slamming on the table, shaking the dishes. "Eriol!!" She repeated, much louder and angrier this time.

"You don't look so happy mom," I answered sweetly and innocently with a look of extreme concern. My dad was frozen and open- mouthed.

"What the hell is this?!!!" She demanded. She was beyond furious. Her eyes got so dark she resembled a witch and her nose was flaring creepily. "What is this?!!! Answer me!!!"

"Gee, mom. Not so loud. You might wake the neighbors," I chided, pushing her to the edge. She turned to my dad and yelled at him instead.

"Luke!! Say something!!!" I giggled internally and stared at the early morning drama unfolding before me.

"Eriol..." my dad trailed, still at a loss.

"Yes dad?" I answered, playing the ignorant card.

"What did you do to your-"

"Dad, it's still me okay. Quit freaking out for Pete's sakes. I just did some... minor changes." Nodding to myself in satisfaction.

"Minor changes?!! You call that minor changes?!! Stop at this moment you bast-"

"SHUT UP!!" I retorted, cutting her off. "Go get yourself stoned or something," I spat at her before hastily going away, "mother dear."

"ERIOL!!!" She shrieked, not letting up. "Come back here you ungrateful child!! I said come back!!! ERIOL!!!"

"Later mom!" I barked before slipping out the door, glimpsing at myself in the Marie Antoinette Mirror. I welcomed the day with a contented smile plastered on my face.

So far so great.

Moving on towards the Goldfine's front door, I couldn't help but imagine what school would be like today. Gossipy for sure. Peculiar maybe, and kinda mystifying and bewildering. I became a bundle of nerves just by thinking about it.

I knocked three times and unsulliedly stood still, expecting Mrs. Goldfine to shuffle out the door. Immediately after I breathed and almost tasted the crisp morning air, she burst out the door with her flowery apron on. It was kinda silly and ridiculous but her jaw slowly dropped and her eyes went as wide as the full moon when she laid her eyes on me. I caught the smell of pan cakes and soft laughter coming from the inside. I felt a twinge of envy, something I couldn't get a firm grip on no matter how hard I try.

"Hi!" I greeted cheerfully, filling the silence with a resplendent smile. "How are you today?"

She was stunned and unable to answer quickly. "Eriol?" She uttered when she recovered. "Is that you?"

"Yes, who else?" I laughed, lightening things up for her. "Is Seth still here?" She didn't answer. "I'm thinking of getting a ride to school. Of course if its no bother."

Still no answer. Her penetrating eyes locked on my face. I thought she was having a mild stroke or something.

"Bad timing I guess," I sighed but smiled anyway. "Well, I have a bus to catch. Thanks for your time." I was about to turn and walk away but she grasped my arm. I tilted my head a little to the side and gave her a questioning look.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized dreamily, "I was just... nevermind! Seth's still here, come on inside." She stepped back and held the door widely open for me, gazing intently while I walked passed her. "Everyone's having breakfast, we've got a ton of pancakes, come on," and she led the way to the kitchen.

The immaculate house from the outside was even more sacred inside. It was as if I was defiling it with my presence. Rows after rows of family pictures decorated every wall, completing the homey atmosphere brimming with love and affection. I wanted to throw up but the plush carpeting was begging for mercy.

The sounds of clattering utensils and chatter grew louder as we approached and rounded a corner to the the kitchen. I stopped when Mrs. Goldfine halted in front of me.

"Hey mom, who was it?" It was Seth. I didn't wait for his mom to answer, I stepped from behind and said hello. The screaming silence that befall was defeaning. All eyes were upon me. Awesome.

Until Chelsea gasped and Seth swallowed loudly.

And silence once again.

"I love pancakes!" I declared with a smirk.

"Oh!" Mrs. Goldfine exclaimed, waking up from her trance. "Yes! Pancakes!" She clapped her hands and pushed me towards the table. "Go take a seat," she purred, then disappeared.

I unslung my bag and dropped it beside my chair, taking a seat across Seth. Their eyes were deep wells of confusion and wonder as they stared. "Nice table," I joked, "my mom would die for something like this."

"What did you do to your hair?"Chelsea finally spoke. I couldn't tell if she was weirded or what. I smiled and flipped my bangs to the side.

"Can't you see for yourself?" I said with a tiny bit of sarcasm. A plateful of pancakes then magically appeared in front of me together with butter and a bottle of honey. Mrs. Goldfine took a seat beside her husband. "Thanks Mrs. Goldfine," giving her a sugary coated smile. She smiled back appreciatively.

"You look really weird," Chelsea spoke for everyone.

"Chelsea!" Her parents reprimanded in unison.

"What?!" She rolled her eyes at them. "Seriously Eriol?"

"You'll get used to it," I replied after chewing a mouthful of perfect pancakes.

"Oh my God! You're planning on keeping that?" She mockingly pointed at my hair.

My now jet black hair.

I buried the golden glitter of it alongside the old Eriol. Far away. Dead. Lifeless. Now just a memory. Walled and cemented to slowly decompose without a trace. My new hair with the darkest color of  the light spectrum. Dead and gone.

"What made you change it?" Mr. Goldfine inquired, looking hungry for details. Too bad for him, I wasn't planning on divulging the nitty- gritty.

Seth cleared his throat, gathering all the attention. "So what brought you here?" He asked me. Aaw, Seth the rescuer.

Long after that, I again became the center of attention. Luring everybody in school with my new-found darkness. I wasn't just trust- fund kid anymore, but also a paragon.

Paradoxically evil.

"OH MY GOD!!" Ashley squealed during lunch, still not over my look. "You look so different!! So furtive!! Somber!! And wicked!!" Right. She drowned me with adjectives.

"And seeexxyy!!!!" Tina chimed in, licking her pink full lips in my direction. I bit my bottom lip flirtatiously in return.

"Why did you dye it?" Ken asked.

"The thought got me going, so what the heck?!" I laughed. I stole a glance at Seth, he was wearing a knowing look. It pissed me off instantly. "So Seth, how do I look?" My voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You didn't have to change," he said seriously, his gray eyes invading my caramel ones. "Honestly."

I faked a very hurt expression. "That is so sad," I groaned.

"You just love attention, don't you?" Chelsea accused evilly.

"Oh well... that's a relief. At least I don't look like a cheap dirty hooker like... someone," I mused with a conceited smile. Everyone went rigid. "Of course I'm not talking about you Chelsea!" I assured enthusiastically, laughing at myself.

"Eriol," Ashley absentmindedly whispered, completely taken aback by my rude attitude. I wasn't done yet though.

"What is it Ashley? You look terrified," I pointed out. The others looked equally terrified too.

"Something's very wrong with you," said Tina.

No Tina. Nothing's wrong with me. Absolutely nothing. I was just having a life. A wonderful life. My life.

"Well, I have no reason to stay here," I sighed, grabbing my bag and standing up. "Bye guys."

I left without looking back. A single thought running inside my head. Sometimes you have to be so bad so that no one could hurt you like those who have hurt you before when you were good.

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So let me know what you think. The next chapter's already done. It'll be posted soon XD I'm thinking that there's only three people reading this *sigh* hhmm, I might stop uploading chapters. Yea. God. Thanks for reading XD