A Cold Day in December

A Cold Day in December Chapter Thirteen

A Cold Day in December

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The video on the right is the official theme song of this story :)

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN

HEARTBREAKS AND BROKEN HEARTS

It was midday. I stopped walking to look up at the broken sky and breathe in the familiar fix of guilt, sadness, and confusion rolled into one, creating a powerful potion that could get me past the remaining hours before Wednesday actually ended. Needless to say, I smiled as the memory of last night replayed, once more, inside my head. At the flip side, I felt dirty and disgusted at my self, or maybe there wasn’t a flip side at all? Was there? I lowered my gaze. Was there a point in all this? None, I answered at my silly question. The night with Julien ended way to fast than both of us had anticipated. Nevertheless, it was wonderful. Too wonderful to actually be true.

Everything that happened was all a dream. Nothing but a dream.

My feet were moving again, but I was barely aware of it. Although Julien was only a participant in my pitiful dream, I couldn’t help but reminisce and feel nostalgic. He had said all the right words at the right time. He made me feel what I exactly wanted to feel. To be wanted. I felt my cheeks and ears burn.

His words followed me, ringing over and over in my ears. He said and whispered I was his. In between grunts, groaning, and moaning of ecstasy. I was his property; he had yelled and hissed as if he actually bought me. He had told me the word mine whenever his lips weren’t fastened to my skin. But all of those were nothing compared to his eyes. The way he looked at me all night long chilled me to the bones. He was speaking through them. Telling me he owned me.

He owned me. Even my skin acknowledged it like a fact. I shivered.

I gulped, shame coloring my face to a much darker shade of crimson. The worst feeling was when someone makes you feel special then suddenly leaves you hanging and you have to act like you don’t care at all. I understood it well enough to take caution. Thus the reason for my early disappearance in Julien’s bed. Out of his grasp. Out of his warm and rugged breathing at the back of my neck. Out of his soft blond hair tickling the back of my ears. Out of his sinewy legs locking me in place, rendering me hopeless and paralyzed. Out of him. For good. I intended it to be just a fling, no more no less. It was better that way. I got what I wanted from him. A fling.

How childish of me. But it was done, so I should stop this meaningless thinking. He knew me as someone else and he was just a name and a face. No, more than a face and a name but it could only go so far. I was safe.

Safe from what Eriol?

From anything.

Specifically from what Eriol?

From-

And then the loud honking of the bus startled me. I ran towards the bus stop, scared of missing it. I was scared of missing the bus? I stopped, dead in the middle of the street. Why was I scared of missing a bus? The question punched me in the face like a bitter friend. I stayed where I was, frozen.

It wasn’t unnatural. I’ve been scared all my life.

Laughing like a dead man, I watched the bus run lazily towards the next stop somewhere around the bend. Another loud honking brought me to life, shooing me out of its way. I turned and narrowed my eyes at the black car, the driver getting impatient by the second. Why should I care to move?  So I stayed put, marveling at pissing the driver out of his wits.