Sound of Winter || Taegyu

Chapter Thirty Two

Beomgyu sighs, sitting on the bathroom floor, staring down at the tile below him. The past month and a half has passed by fast, almost too fast. And while he thought he would be okay by the time their vacation came around, he's feeling the complete opposite. He feels scared and alone, and even more scared to talk to Taehyun about it.

Taehyun has been looking forward to this trip for so long. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he ruined it for all of them?

He can hear soft footsteps approaching the door, the sound of a gentle knock sending a bang of guilt through his chest as he closes his eyes. "Have you packed yet?" Taehyun asks, voice filled with a hint of concern.

Beomgyu tries to compose himself, taking in a deep breath. "No, not yet. Give me a few minutes," he manages out, voice barely above a whisper.

There's a moment of silence before Taehyun lets out a sigh. "Is everything okay, Gyu? If you're not feeling up to–"

"I'm okay, Tyun," he replies, forcing out a smile even though he knows that Taehyun can't see it. "I'm just washing up. Give me a few more minutes, I promise I'll be ready."

He doesn't know how to talk to Taehyun about something like this. He feels far from okay. The past few days alone have been a whirlwind of stress and anxiety, and the thought of it being a year since Seiji kidnapped him only adds to his overwhelming emotions. But he can't bring himself to burden anyone with his issues. He doesn't want to ruin their long awaited trip that he already told everyone he was okay with.

"Okay," Taehyun sighs on the other side of the door, his disappointment palpable even through the painted wood. "Let me know if you need anything," he says softly, walking away.

As the sound of his footsteps fade into the distance, he lets out a heavy breath, the weight of emotions crushing down on him once again. He pushes himself off of the floor, using the cold edge of the bathtub for support. He presses his palms against the cold, unforgiving surface of the bathroom mirror, staring deep into his own reflection.

The harsh fluorescent lights illuminate every imperfection on his face, every flaw that seems to scream at him. He feels a wave of disgust wash over him as he stares at his reflection, feeling like nothing more than a disappointment.

It's been months. Why can't he be better already? Why is it so hard for things to go back to normal?

The dark circles under his eyes seem deeper now, a stark reminder of the countless sleepless nights that he's had. The more he stares at himself, the more he feels like every aspect of his life is falling apart. Taehyun is the only good thing he has. He feels like he's constantly under the weight of expectations that he set for himself, goals that he could never hope to meet.

He's stuck in a sea of sadness, and each time he's about to catch his breath, another wave comes crashing on top of him.

He turns on the faucet and splashes the cold water onto his face, the shock of the cold water against his skin momentarily making him forget about all of his issues. He takes a long, deep breath, leaning against the sink as he tries to calm himself down. The water drips down his face, falling into the porcelain bowl with a small 'plop' sound. He releases all of the air from his lungs, shakily, wiping his face with a towel.

This week is going to go well. He's going to be a good boyfriend and friend and he won't make any mistakes. He's okay now, he doesn't need to make them worry anymore than they already do.

He hurriedly grabs his belongings, taking them back into the bedroom and throwing them into the bag on top of his clothing. Organizing everything is the least of his concern. It's all in the bag and going to the same place, he'll organize everything once they get to the cabin.