Sound of Winter || Taegyu

Chapter Thirty Six

Beomgyu tosses in the bed, letting out a sigh when he looks at the clock again. It's midnight, and only one hour has passed since he last checked, and the minutes feel like they're slowly ticking away, each second longer than the last. His conversation with Kai keeps replaying in his mind on an endless loop. Covering up the bad memories with the good... How does he even begin to do that? He has a few ideas, but each one sounds more inside and dangerous than the last.

He wishes that he was able to stop his mind from racing all the time, to find five minutes of peace within himself, but his thoughts only continue to collide inside of him. The snowstorm rages outside, the wind howling loudly as the snow piles higher and higher against the windowpane. The room is coated in an eerie darkness, and maybe he wouldn't be so afraid of it if Taehyun was beside him, like he should be, but instead he's on the couch. He didn't say a word to Beomgyu, simply grabbed a pillow and blanket and left, closing the door quietly behind him.

But that's his own fault, and he knows that.

Even after talking with Kai, he couldn't bring himself to face Taehyun. He feels stupid and like a terrible boyfriend, which is partially because he is one. He had no right to snap on Taehyun for caring, especially not over some dream that he had. Taehyun would never hurt him and he knows that, but he still let his emotions get the best of him, and he can't begin to imagine how confused Taehyun is with all of it.

He sits up in the bed, pulling the blanket tightly around his shoulders before standing up, the soft folds caressing his shivering skin. He pushes himself off the bed and walks over towards the door, his footsteps muffled by the thick carpet that absorbs the sound of each step he takes. He used to want carpet in their home since it's much warmer than the wood floor they have, but it would only be more for them to clean.

Halfway towards the living room he stops, frowning when he hears laughter coming from the other bedroom. Everyone else seems to be having a great time and a pang of envy washes over him, wishing that he was having as much fun as them. It's not fair, he never asked for any of this to happen.

He lets out a sigh, shaking his head as if it will rid his mind of all the lingering thoughts. He doesn't need to focus on them right now; right now he needs to find Taehyun.

But when he doesn't see him in the living room, he starts to worry, glancing around the empty room. The couch is a mess, blankets strewn across the back of it, a pillow on the ground beside it. He reaches down, picking up the pillow and placing it back on the couch where it belongs.

"Taehyun?" He asks into the darkness, heart dropping when he doesn't get a response.

He walks back over to the room the others are in, taking a deep breath before knocking softly on the door. The room immediately falls silent before he hears a bed creaking, followed by footsteps approaching. Soobin opens the door, a look of confusion on his face that is quickly replaced with a smile when his eyes land on Beomgyu.

"You're awake," Soobin smiles, opening the door more. "Do you want to come in? We've just been playing games. Well, Kai and I are playing games, Jun was being a crybaby so we stopped playing with him."

"That's not true!" Yeonjun protests, grabbing a pillow off of the bed, prepared to launch it at Soobin's head.

"It is true! And if – Hey!" Yeonjun's eyes widen when Soobin turns around. "You better put that pillow down right now, Yeonjun." Soobin says firmly, holding up a finger like a scolding mother. "Do not make me come over there."

"Someone's in trouble," Kai snickers, screeching when Yeonjun grabs him, pulling him down onto the bed in a headlock.

Beomgyu shakes his head at them, holding back a laugh. They're stupid, but he loves them all dearly.