Sound of Winter || Taegyu

Chapter Thirty Eight

It feels like hours have passed since Beomgyu last said a word to him.

And maybe it's because hours actually have passed by, or maybe it's because Beomgyu's been laying on him in the same spot for so long now that he can't feel his lower body. He doesn't mind, not even a little bit. He wraps his arms around Beomgyu tighter, placing a small kiss on the top of his head.

"I love you, Gyu," he whispers, laying his head back against the pillow.

He's met with nothing other than rhythmic breathing, a sure sign that Beomgyu's asleep already. He's not sure when Beomgyu fell asleep, or even how he was able to, but the fact that he's finally getting rest is more than enough for Taehyun. Last night was one of the worst panic attacks that Beomgyu's had, and he hopes that the worst of it is over now.

As the snowflakes continue to fall gently outside the cabin, he sighs, fixing his eyes on the ceiling above. The darkness is thick and heavy, the only sound in the room being Beomgyu's soft breathing from where he's resting on Taehyun's chest. He can feel Beomgyu's warmth, his gentle weight, and the rise and and fall of his chest with each breath that he takes.

Beomgyu is here with him. He's safe and he's healthy, so why is it that Taehyun finds himself so paranoid to fall back asleep? His mind keeps racing, refusing to let him get any rest. .

He knew that Seiji was a terrible person, there was no doubt about it, but some of the things Beomgyu has told him so far makes him sick to his stomach. He can't help but think about how terrified Beomgyu was and how alone he must've felt the entire time. He should've done more to help find Beomgyu, to get him out of that hell-hole sooner.

His arms instinctively tighten around Beomgyu, holding him close as if anything might take him away. It's the hours before sunrise, the strange, liminal time when the outside world seems like it's holding its breath, waiting for the break of dawn. The snow has been falling for hours now, carrying with it a serene silence that falls over the forest. He's tried almost everything to fall asleep – counting sheep, which he highly doubts actually works, listening to music, breathing exercises – but his brain is stubbornly awake, refusing to calm down for even a fraction of a second.

As the minutes tick by, his thoughts grow more and more jumbled, his mind racing with so many 'what if's' that he finds himself unable to keep up. It feels like a never-ending cycle of wakefulness, unable to escape the thoughts that linger inside of his own head. He wonders if this is how Beomgyu feels all of the time, his mind constantly running.

He tries to focus on Beomgyu's breathing, to let his calmness seep into his own, but it's no use. Taehyun's already wide awake and he doubts he'll be able to fall asleep anytime soon.

Taehyun carefully pulls himself out from under Beomgyu, trying his best to not wake the older. When he finally slips out of bed, his feet hit the cold carpeted floor, quietly walking out of the room and shutting the door behind him. It's still really early, too early for him to wake Beomgyu up to do anything, so he might as well make some coffee while he waits.

He tries to rub away the sleepiness as he flips on the small light switch over the sink, squinting at the sudden brightness. It's warm inside, a complete contrast to the outside world. He wants to go out today, to hopefully take Beomgyu on a hike up the mountains, but now he's not sure if it's something Beomgyu would be up to.

As the coffee starts to brew, he walks over to the window, pulling back the curtains to gaze at the snow covered landscape. The snow has lightened up a lot since last night, more manageable now than it has been the past few days. The world seems different – more peaceful than it usually is, or used to be, at least. The trees hang heavy with the weight of the snow, their branches covered in a layer of frosty crystals. The sky is a deep, foreboding gray, the snowflakes dancing in the air like thousands of tiny ballerinas.