Highland love's redemption

Chapter 5 :

This Monday morning I woke up at 5, if we can really call that waking up. I did not sleep well, overthinking my life and my choices already. Maybe I will not stay, if he didn't want me there, there was no fighting for it, I would have tried at least.
Yesterday afternoon, Lachlan tried to come back in my good graces in his own way. He was asking questions about our day at diner which I avoided answering, letting the kids do so. When he asked me how my day with the kids was, I answered shortly with a fake smile and got away pretending I needed to go to sleep.

I got up, put on leggings and a pullover to go for a walk. The night was dark and cold as the wind was blowing pretty hard. I heard the distant sound of a tractor engine again and could see the light of the tractor in the distant field. With the help of my phone light I walked on the MacLeod's property, trying to clear my head and get rid of the ghosts of the past.

I made a promise to myself before coming here, I'd try to get rid of this constant sadness, try to be more grateful for being here, to do this for him as if he was still there.
He had always been more cheerful and positive than I was. He constantly reminded me that the universe had a plan for us and that everything would be fine. I never believed it and when he died I angrily blamed the universe's plan.  I did not know what to believe back then and was more lost than ever now without him to tell me what to believe.
I was so far in my thoughts I did not notice the Jeep coming beside me in the field. That's only when I heard a whistle that I stopped to look around. The car went to my height.

" You're alright there? "

Lachlan seemed genuinely concerned, his eyebrows were drawn together in a worried expression.
I nodded.

" Yeah, just doing my morning walk. "

He nodded in return.

" Hop in, it's too cold for that, you don't have the proper outfit. "

I shrugged and realised he was right, I was freezing, my ears were freezing without a hat and I had no gloves so the hand holding my phone was not in a better form.

I opened the passenger door and fastened my seatbelt.
Lachlan drove us silently to the house where I made us a coffee.

" You can use the Jeep to bring the kids to school today. "

I nodded. He seemed to want to say something but did not.

" I plan to do some groceries on the way back, do you need something. "

He shook his head.

" Take whatever you need and some cereals for the kids and some shower gel. "

I took a piece of paper and noted a short list of what was needed.

" I though kids nowadays had forgotten how to write in a piece of paper. "

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

" Is it you trying to be funny ? "

He smiled a bit and I could see his dimple behind his gruff.

" Can't blame me for trying. "

I smiled back, genuinely this time and he opened his mouth to talk again but was cut off by the kid's step in the stairs.
He greeted them, wishing them a good day. I was watching this interaction from afar while he was kissing their cheeks and hugging them quickly before going back outside to work.

" Have a good day, see you at noon. "

I nodded and started to dress the kids for school. I drove them a little early taking into account that I had to drive on the other side of the road and was extra cautious about it.
The 20 minute ride took me 30 minutes but we made it.
I left Callum and Aila at the gate with their teacher and drove to the closest grocery store Lachlan had indicated and put in the trolley everything I needed on the list. It took a bit of time for me to adapt and find the equivalent of the product I would normally pick back home and I got back on the road around 11 AM.