Highland love's redemption

Chapter 18:

I woke up the next morning with a new determination. It was 4:50 when I left for the house and started my morning walk on Lachlan's land after parking my car.

My talk with my mom had cleared my mind a bit but I definitely needed a talk with Lachlan to finally figure things out.

I was about to go back to the house when his Jeep came into my vision, the beam on. I protected my eyes with my arm and the lights dimmed a bit then he got out of the car in a rush.

"I thought I dreamed you."

I smiled shyly and we stood awkwardly in front of each other with only the sound of the engine as a background noise. I shivered from the cold.

"Y-you want to come inside ?"

He was nervous and cute as hell. I wanted to kiss him now, the need to feel him was so strong but I knew we needed to talk first.

"Please."

I joined him in the Jeep and he drove us to the house. He turned the engine off and exhaled heavily before turning his face to me.

"I missed you."

I nodded trying to keep my face neutral.

"Can we go inside ? We need to talk."

"Sure."

He held the door and let me in, took my coat to hang it before I made my way to the kitchen. He was rushing to make me coffee and I nearly cracked a smile.

"I-I made cookies for the kids, they are not as good as yours but"

He scraped his neck awkwardly, I had never seen him that anxious.

"Thank you."

"No, thank you for coming back."

"I am not coming back."

His face crumbled at my words.

"I mean, we need to talk. I can't come back just like that and let you break my heart again as soon as you're scared or mad at me. I am sorry for last time, I definitely should have been reachable but I don't think your reaction was fair or justified."

"It was not, it was not fair. I am terribly sorry. I've learnt the lesson, I swear. I get it if you don't want to stay, I get it, it will break my heart but it's only fair.

I just want you to know how sorry I am. You did not deserve these words at all. I am sorry. You've brought so much to this house. So much I didn't know we lacked for so long."

His voice cracked and I had to grab my mug tighter to not cry.

"If this is the last chance I have to make you come back, I would tell you how much I need you, how much I miss you and love you. So fucking much, in 3 months you succeeded to do more with the kids than me in 4 years. You've been their mother figures, a steady one, you provided them love and attention and care and so much joy.

I am so sorry for my words, and if you ever accept me back, I swear I'll make it right, these weeks without you have been nothing but hell and ache and seeing you everyday without touching you, talking to you or without looking at me, that was torture.

I don't deserve you baby I know, I am grumpy and old and not used to having someone so close but I love you. And if you choose to come back home I'll prove to you that staying will be worth it. "

A tear escaped my eyes and I avoided his look to avoid crying more. As if I could ever stay away from him. My heart was aching for him and the kids but with his words I knew I wouldn't be able to go away.