UnAlaska

36. Confusion

On the bridge, Helen stood by the large swath of windows. She could see the life boats jettison. The sea was fierce and frothing. The life boats would drop violently underneath the waves. Moments later, they would resurface. They bounced crazily, like a discarded wine cork.

She felt a hot, creeping sense of dread. It was a physical weight. It felt like the lead apron they lay across your body during an x-ray. It was suffocating and heavy. There were pins and needles on her back and her neck. Her breathing was short and her chest was clenched tight. Her head was spinning, vividly picturing passengers dashing their heads and breaking their arms in the panicked lifeboats below.

Helen had felt this feeling before. It was the beginning of a panic attack. She had a commanding officer in the navy who could spot crew members slipping into a panic attack from a mile away. Some kind of special gift. He liked to bark at them, and order them to drop and give him 20 push-ups. She saw this once, and thought it was cruel. Later, she realized that forcing yourself into action could break the loop of panic.

So, she turned around and walked into the assembled officers. She pulled her shoulders back and straightened herself. "Ok, everyone. Circle up again."

There was a murmur as the officers formed a tight circle. "We have six confirmed lifeboats launched. We are t-minus 30 minutes from docking in Dutch Harbor. The FBI swat team is in place on the docks, ready to board immediately. They have a hostage negotiator, and a senior field officer ready."

"Good."

There was a crackle and a blast of radio chatter. One of the officers stepped away. They could see him nodding intently. He jogged back into the circle and put his finger up urgently. He talked breathlessly. "Report from the casino and the lounge. There were... two explosions."

The circle gasped. "Twelve or more injured, and at least two confirmed dead."

Helen stared at the officer. Then, she scanned the circle. "Ok, what do we think this is?" She looked at the pale officer again. "Any description on the explosive device, or who planted it?"

The officer swallowed hard. He had caught his breath. "We have one injured person from the casino that's conscious. He said he was playing blackjack, and a grenade rolled onto the table from the balcony."

"How did he make it out?"

"He ducked behind a slot machine. The dealer stayed at the table. They found pieces of him."

"Jesus, ok." She paced around the circle now. "What do we think this is? Are they done?"

There was a stunned silence. The horror of the day seemed to weigh on everyone. First a casino heist and a bomb, with millions of dollars lost. Then a horrific mass kidnapping of children, and a passenger dead trying to save his own daughter. Now, more dead in gruesome explosions. Reports came in that the massive glass sculpture and staircase in the lounge had exploded and collapsed. Flying glass shrapnel had lacerated guests sitting in lounge chairs, and many others were trapped under the wreckage.

Helen rubbed her forehead and took a deep breath. "You know what? I know what this is. First the lifeboats, and now a bombing. They're cornered. Like a rat pressed into the back of a cage. They're lashing out with everything they have."

"They're trying to hurt us," said an officer.

"Sure. But more than that, they're trying to muddy the waters. Create panic on deck and drive confusion. Make us second guess what we're doing. Make us question our resolve. If we do that, there will be small openings. If there are small openings, they'll exploit them. We've seen what they're capable of." She looked sternly at the group. "If they find a way out, those kids are going to wind up tied up in a basement on Russian soil. God help anyone trying to get them home without a ransom then."