°• Book 1 in the unexpected marriage series •°
*:ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
"They tried to hide their feelings with silence but they forgot that their eyes spoke too..."
*:ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
"I'm a mess at times, and there are days when I am a lot to handle", she cried...
extras: it's 3:17 am when I woke up to write this chapter, so pls be considerate:) ..
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L A S Y A
Moksh stared at me hopefully and for the first time I wasn't conflicted, I knew what to do. My eyes pooled with tears when I saw him going down on his knees and begging me.
My throat was clogged with emotions and I could feel the vulnerability in his tone.
"Moksh, Moksh, no", I shook my head as I bent on my knees before him. "Never go on your knees for me, Moksh, never, you said in this marriage we are equal, then shouldn't we respect each other equally too? please never beg me ever okay? We'll sort out our issues but never be so overwhelmed in front of me", I said as I cradled his face in my palms and wiped the tears that escaped his warm brown eyes.
He sniffed and nodded slowly, his eyes now red when they locked with mine and never had I seen him so emotional before. "Be my strength, Moksh, not weakness, we have a long way to fight", I added, staring at him deep in the eyes as I rested our forehead against each other.
Moksh gazed at me with so much intensity and fire in his eyes that I feared I would end up breaking him more, he looked just fragile and his emotions were all over the place.
"My story is filled with broken pieces, terrible choices, ugly truths, dark past and traumas, Moksh. I still have a lot to figure out, I have major comebacks, and there's no peace in my soul and no grace that excites me to live his life. I am all fucked up, and I fear I'll taint you with the shadows of my past too", I affirmed, breaking away from him.
The ache of emptiness filled me but I controlled myself, it was now or never.
I do not want to start something if I wasn't over my past, my past was traumatic and had left me with bleeding wounds which have stopped bleeding but the ache and deep scars are still left behind.
Whenever I take a step ahead, I am forcefully pulled back with the haunting memories and I don't want to drag Moksh in this mess along with me.
"Let's fight together, Lasya. Let's crumble the castle of betrayal, pain, hate and lies together and build an empire of love, trust, partnership and togetherness, together? Let's be together in this, baby, please", Moksh spoke, scooting a bit closer to me, his tone hopeful again.
And that's what I feared the most. The hope in his eyes, I was scared of what if I was not able to make it up to his expectations.
I was broken beyond repair, at every step I was reminded and mocked that I was a bad omen, a bad luck to everyone and now when I had a beautiful life ahead, my brain and heart seemed not to accept the reality and throw me back to the latches of my past.
But let's be sure this time, let's risk it this time.
Even though I have a lot to lose, I don't want to leave with the regret that I at least did not try.
