Chapter 29

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Every practice after that had gotten worst. Nick was getting the hang of the part, but anytime we would have to show a lot of emotion, I would try to avoid it. Part of me is saying: Why the hell are you here Nick? Why do you want to be here? Then another part of me says: You finally came! God I love you! In reality I think I'm just a hopeless romantic.

Now it's already tech week and I'm exhausted. Today we mostly worked on cues and made sure our costumes fit correctly. Once Nick came out in his costume I just about died. He was looking extremely good in his red vest, white collared shirt, khaki pants, and his riding boots. Then he went back to change into his royal guard outfit. When he came back out he looked dashing. Just like a prince, he was stunning... It really proved to me on how much I really miss him... As the cast hovered around him I stood aside with Kristen. I tried to hide how upset I was, but I guess it wasn't working considering that she gave me a hug. She whispered in my ear "I know you still like him and don't want to get back with him but you need to do what's right for you..." I nodded. She was right... I had to figure out what is best for me. Before I could say anything the director wanted to see us rehearse 'As Long As Your Mine'. And yes, that's the romantic scene between Nick and I's characters. Great... I sighed and went to my place so that we could start. I needed to get over the fact that he is here and just play the part that I'm suppose to play. One thing is for sure though.... I'm not kissing him. Nick knelt in front of me, and then the director yelled "Okay! Cue the music!" The song started to play and I started to sing "Kiss me to fiercely... hold me too tight... I need help believing you're with me tonight..." Nick gave his all. He made me believe that he was here just for me. He looked into my eyes and held me close to him. His face moved closer to mine as I finished my verse; I turned my face the other way, marking the kiss. His verse then started "Maybe I'm brainless. Maybe I'm wise... but you got me seeing through different eyes..." He is brainless, not wise! He knows that I'm confused with my feelings already as it is. I kept acting like I was deeply in love with him... which isn't hard because I am in love with him... He kept singing just like he meant the words. Did he mean it? I fell deeper in his trans as I idolized his voice. I held his hands the rest of the song. We started singing in unison "Every moment as long as your mine..." I wanted him to be mine again... We ended the song inching closer and closer. When I realized we were about to kiss, I looked away and ended the song with my feisty line and then ran off stage.

Tears streamed down my face. I heard a voice yell for me, but I just ignored it as I ran towards my dressing room. I slammed the door and laid on the floor. My breath started to increase, tears trailed down my face. I couldn't take it anymore... I need him in my life. I miss his touch, his voice, his beautiful face, his eyes... When do I tell him? How do I tell him? What if he doesn't want me back? Well of course he wants me back if he came here to see me. Suddenly Marie walked in the room. "What are you doing on the floor? Are you okay?" she asked as I started to get up from the floor. I replied "I think I'm going to talk to Nick..." Her face went from concerned to angry "Why would you want to do that after everything he has done to you?" I stayed quiet. Will I feel stupid if I do this? Is getting back with Nick the best thing to do? Now I'm over thinking everything again. Maybe I'm making his bigger than it is.

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