I cant sleep without you

Angel

      I don't know how long we stood there, in each other's arms, but I simply couldn't let her go. I didn't release her hand even when my mom arrived, and the three of us sat in the living room together. Finally, my mom's eyes sparkled, her heart was at ease, it was evident. When Kara hugged her, I saw my mom exhale all the heaviness she had been carrying, her eyes glazed over with tears. For the most part, we sat in silence, I continued to hold her hand tightly, our fingers intertwined. Mom made hot chocolate, and Kara slowly drank it. I looked at her and still couldn't believe my eyes. She's really here, safe and sound... I admit, there were a few times when the feeling crept in that I might end up with just her diary... Mom sat across from us and looked intently at Kara. It was clear she was choosing her words carefully, but as soon as she opened her mouth, she was interrupted.

— "He didn't touch me..." —  She said, looking at the glass of chocolate she held in her hand. She didn't say more, and my mom didn't press for further details. Her statement, however, felt like shedding a weight off my shoulders.

— "That's the most important thing," — mom said with a smile. — "The rest doesn't matter now. You're home... with your family." 

      At this, Kara finally looked at my mom and then smiled at me. In response, I covered her hand with my other hand, gently nodding.

— "Now, listen to me," — mom redirected our attention to her. — "Both of you haven't slept or eaten for days. I'm going to quickly whip up a salad for you both to eat! Then, you go and rest." —  She gave instructions firmly, as if they were military orders rather than caring instructions. Both of us nodded in unison, as we usually did.

       As she said, we ate the salad. Kara and I practically attacked it and devoured everything she served us. I didn't even realize how hungry I was. Mom smiled at our empty, fairly large plates.

— "Well, now you're not walking zombies anymore," — she joked. 

     Kara and I finally managed to laugh easily. She looked at me just like I looked at her. It felt like everything was completely new. Like everything had changed drastically. We looked into each other's eyes, and we both understood it. Hundreds of sparks seemed to fly between us.

— "Amy, go and run Kara a bath. I think it'll do her good to relax in warm water," — my mom instructed. I nodded and made my way upstairs, taking my time. Kara watched me until I disappeared from view.

     Entering the room, I remembered about the diary. The laptop was still open. I wondered how she would react to knowing that I read it all. Would she be angry?

      Damn... It just doesn't matter. Let her be angry as much as she wants, the important thing is that she's home. I left the laptop open as it was.

     Entering the bathroom and starting the water, I set it to the perfect temperature. Exiting the bathroom, I saw Kara by the door of room, she was standing there looking at the laptop, then at me. I took a deep breath and approached her, taking her hands in mine. My fingers brushed the backs of her hands as she lowered her eyes to them. I led her to my bed and sat her down there, then knelt in front of her.

— "Forgive me..." — Tears welled up in my eyes, — "Yes, I read it all. I needed to, because I was going crazy..." — I looked up at her, her eyes scanning my face. She gently touched my cheek, wiping away a fallen tear, and caressed my cheek. I took her hand and kissed her palm. It was hard for me to speak, but I had to tell her... — "You were deeply mistaken about my opinion changing drastically," — I lowered my gaze to our intertwined hands, which I continued to stroke, and then returned to her green eyes, — "For me, you're still as pure as ever. Kara... To me, you're an angel, and nothing can change that. Please, stop hating yourself... Stop hating what I love to madness..." — It became increasingly difficult for me to speak, my voice slightly hoarse and my throat hurting. — "I want to be with you so much... If you don't want intimacy for the rest of your life, then there won't be any. I can live without it. The only thing I can't live without is you. Just be with me. Don't hide your true feelings and thoughts. Be real with me." — Her eyes were also filled with tears. — "So... Stop hating yourself, because... Because... I love you very much..."