I cant sleep without you

Your tenderness

      I woke up about five minutes ago, but I'm still lying with my eyes closed. I want to prolong this, as she is definitely not asleep anymore, and I feel her snuggling up, hugging me, and her nose rubbing against my neck. It's all so tender. She thinks I'm still asleep, otherwise she wouldn't be so gentle. I try so hard not to moan from these caresses accidentally. We lie on our sides, facing each other; she's slightly lower, her hand hugging my waist and stroking my back. It's hard not to respond to her in the same way, so I continue pretending to be asleep. But then, the alarm clock rings, and it ruins everything. She reaches to turn it off, breaking our embrace. After turning it off, her body returns to a horizontal position, but now she's lying on her back. I slightly open my eyes and watch her; she's staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. I decide to interrupt her thoughts:

— How's your stomach? — She turns her head towards me; I've opened my eyes and I'm looking at her. She looks so lovely in the sunlight... How can a person be so beautiful in the morning? Her sleepy eyes, lips slightly fuller than usual in the morning, her beautiful and delicate skin... I feel like I'm falling for her more and more each day.

— It stopped hurting before I fell asleep, — she replies calmly and turns back onto her side, placing her hands under her head, mimicking me. We just gaze at each other.

— Still, the medicine helped, — I don't know what to say, so I continue the topic.

— No, not the medicine... — she says, lifting her head and slowly moving towards my face. My heart stops. She kisses me. Her soft lips gently touch mine for a few seconds, and then she pulls back. I lie there, staring at her.

— What was that? — My voice is quiet.

— Gratitude, — she replies just as quietly. I lie on my back and look up.

— What are you doing with me... — It's not a question, but a statement, also said quietly, as I close my eyes with the back of my hand. I exhale loudly in frustration and, getting up, head straight for the shower. I don't want to think about this again. I'll go crazy. She said I don't have to understand her, so be it.

     When we sleep together, for some reason, I sleep very well, no matter how many hours I sleep. Well, except for nights of drinking, of course. The phrase 'sleep together' is echoing in my head.

      We went downstairs. Mom, as usual, was in a hurry. She noticed us when we were quietly preparing breakfast each for ourselves.

—  "What's with the blue aura in my house?!" — the woman exclaimed seriously. We looked at her with confusion. — "Have you seen your sour faces?" — Her gaze shifted between me and Kara, expecting an answer. — "Alright," — she raised her index finger in the air, — "so that you're in a good mood tonight!" — Kara and I exchanged silent glances, then looked at mom and nodded together. She nodded back affirmatively and left.

— "Maybe it's better to tell Mom to separate us into different rooms," — I break the usual silence on the way to school. My gaze shifts from the road to her, waiting for some kind of response. But she looks at me with such a detached look, as if saying that I'm talking nonsense.

— "Tell me if that would be better for you," — she slowly turns her gaze back to the road.

— "Haha," — a light laugh escapes me, but I'm not amused at all, — "you know perfectly well how it would be better for me..." — I don't look at her, but I feel her gaze on me. — "The point is, I'm trying to find what's best for both of us." — She remains silent.

     When we arrived, I hadn't even fully gotten out of the car when Mary pounced on me, pressing me against the pickup. Without any hesitation, she attacked my lips, which made me very uncomfortable. Barely managing to pull her away from my lips, I said: