Yandere! Yu Ijin x Reader
"I wanted to do so much more. I should have done more."
The simplicity of life, the cycle of death that was often overlooked by the masses as they focus on the future and the past, forgetting the present that they live in...
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It was saturday, which meant that it was a day off.
You awoke at exactly 2am in cold sweat, your throat dry and your mind feeling with overbearing guilt. It wasn't until you found yourself on the rooftop of a random apartment building that you finally found some peace of mind.
The time spent in the camp was something that had traumatized you endlessly and deeply, it left a gaping hole in your chest that brought you to your knees with the feeling of being the most miserable human being to ever exist. Not that you would consider yourself to be human in the first place, the term of a hideous monster would fit you better.
The rushing of the night wind brought you to a daze you seem to fall deeply in for the past few days. No amount of social interactions could hide the fact that you were bothered, and no amount of therapy visits that the lieutenant has forced you in could hide the fact that you were beyond any means of saving.
It was no secret that you had wanted to die, it was just unfortunate how nobody cared enough to look deeply into you to see just what is wrong with you. After all you were merely a veteran in the mercenary field, you served to kill and it was a job that is tainted to the core. Nobody found you righteous enough to be saved, and nobody found you important enough to be cared.
A sigh left your lips as the smoke trails down from your ear to your collarbone, and if you leaned the cigarettes down the smoke would invade your nostrils and made you relieve the same sensation as the time you've almost been burnt alive during a failed mission.
Honestly, you didn't know what to expect.
The old you..
Was it really you?
Or this current one, is it you?
The day where you had been killed by that vehicle was something that merged together with your other near death experiences that it was hard to know whether it was a memory from a fever dream or something real. The moment you had spoken about it to your therapist, he had given you a scrunitizing look that set alarms ringing in your head.
So you settled on laughing wholeheartedly, baring a nice content smile as you made yourself to be a completely normal and capable citizen to blend in with society and the norms should you be released from that mental institution.
You forget about the things that had been concerning throughout your life, you forget the reason you often scrub your skin relentlessly and obsessively until it turns red and rashed, you forget about the times you felt dirty and the times you felt as if you were the most hazardous sinner on earth.
