Addicted {bxb}

XV

A/N: Shit is about to get REAL!

Speechless.

That's the word that I would use right now. I didn't know what to say to that question. I didn't know how to feel or what to think at this moment. Everything was starting to come back to me from that night.

"You don't have to be experienced, Adrian," I said in a soft tone. "I'll teach you."

"I don't..."

I leaned closer to him so I could kiss his neck again while I played with his nipple at the same time. He moaned again and when I heard that I knew that he was enjoying it. I've never hooked up with someone that was inexperienced before and since it was him I didn't mind it.

"Stop," he said breathlessly, still fighting with me. "Stop... Justin."

I didn't listen to him. Why didn;t I listen to him?

Why was he fighting with me so hard right now? It's not like I was hurting him.

I was the one that hurt him.

"Justin what-"

I felt Maricio's touch on me and I felt my body tense up once again.

"Get off of me!" he shouted and before I knew it I was pushed to the ground.

I pulled out of Maricio's grip and stumbled when I stood up from my spot on the bed. I looked at him before turning away so I could open my door. I left my bedroom out of all the adrenaline that I felt building up inside of me and when I got to the top of the stairs... there he was. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at me with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

I opened my mouth to speak but when I noticed his eyes were no longer on me I looked over my shoulder and saw Maricio standing behind me. He held up my shirt and I quickly looked down, remembering that I was shirtless. I took my shirt from his hand then watched as he made his way downstairs, walking past Adrian like he was a ghost.

I quickly pulled my shirt over my head then began to make my way downstairs to meet with him face to face. But it was like he was struck by lightning, returning back to reality and he made a quick escape to the front door.

Shit!

I rushed down the stairs, careful that I didn't miss a step to chase after him. He opened the front door, rushing outside and I followed but closed the door behind me.

"Adrian!" I called out to him but he didnt stop. "Adrian stop!"

His pace grew faster and so did mine. I was determined to catch up to him and I wasn't going to stop until I did.

"Adrian!"

"Stay away from me!" he shouted over his shoulder.

I never had to deal with someone running away from me until now. It was always going to be Adrian that I would go the extra mile for. And when I realized that he wasn't going to stop anytime soon I had no choice but to say what was on my mind now.

"Adrian I remember!"

And it worked. He slowed down, eventually halting to a stop so I could catch up with him. I stood a few feet behind him, waiting for him to turn around but he didn't.

"I remember what happened that night," I carried on. "And... and I'm sorry that I hurt you. I... I don't know what came over me to do something like that to you."

Silence.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say."

I heard him sniff and that's when I knew that he was crying. Just like that first night. His glossy eyes didn't make me feel anything when I looked into them. Then when I was sitting in his room. His voice cracking when he asked me, "You really don't remember?" and the feeling inside me, making me feel bad for not knowing what he was talking about. But now I knew. I took careful steps closer to him so I could stand in front of him and I let out a breath of relief when we were face to face.

"Adrian," I spoke softly. "I'm sor-"

"I don't want to hear that anymore!" he snapped and I felt my body tense up. "I know that you're not sorry, Justin!"

"I am sorry!" I snapped, failing at hiding my anger from the way he accused me and he rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you that night, Adrian!"

"Well you did." His voice was calmer now but I knew that he was still hurting. "You did hurt me that night Justin and I don't know why."

"I-"

"What did I ever do to you!?"

I didn't know what to say. I didn't have an answer to give to him.

"Nothing. Right?" he questioned. "And yet you took whatever was going on in your life out on me!"

"It's not like that," I said, taking a step closer to him.

"So then what is it? Huh? Tell me!"

"It... I... I don't know, okay! I don't know what came over when I was with you. I don't know why I didn't listen to you but if I could go back in time I would change everything. I would never put my hands on you in a way that made you feel uncomfortable. That's not the type of guy that I am. That's not who I ever wanted to be, Adrian. Especially to you!"

The silence began to build up between us again and I didnt know what else to say. All I was hoping was that he would be able to believe me. But when nothing else was said I knew that there was nothing left for me to say or do. I walked around him so I could make my way back inside the house but before I could I stopped to say one more thing.

"Take the time you need. If you want nothing to do with me again, that's okay. I understand. Tell Erica if you want. She doesn't deserve to be around me after what I put you through. I just want you to know that I don't want you to feel that way ever again." I paused and shook my head to keep from letting my tears get the best of me. "You... You don't deserve that."

Now I was able to leave him alone and let myself be alone. I've had reasons for never getting close to anyone and this is exactly why. If hurting Adrian meant losing Erica then so be it.

I deserve all the hate that she'll give me.

~End of Part One~