Illicit Affairs. [Benedict Bridgeton.]

Chapter Eighteen. Visiting Lady Whistledown aka Penelope Featherington.

Crazy, that was how Amelia Phillips was starting to feel, everything was becoming a bit too much, she hadn't stepped foot outside since the night of the ball, scared in case she might bump into Benedict while she was outside. She had seen him walking out of the Bridgerton house with his brothers sometimes, he also seemed like a mess, like he hadn't slept in a long time, she could imagine him staying up all night doing one of his paintings. There was even a moment during one of his outings where his head would look up and his eyes would look at her, for a moment they stared at each other through the window of Amelia's bedroom just like the first time they had met each other until she quickly closed the curtains and rushed over to her bed. Seeing him once again had brought back all of the memories of the times that they had spent together causing her heart to break all over again, she missed those moments and she missed him. After days of being stuck in her bedroom again she knew that she couldn't take another day of staying inside anymore, she needed to go outside and she had the perfect excuse to go outside.

She glanced over at the silver tiara which was laying on top of a pile of books on her bedside table, the memories of Penelope's hood falling down revealing her as Lady Whistledown all came flooding back into her mind. She felt like she was stuck in the middle, she wanted to tell Elouise everything but she didn't want to break up a friendship and would Elouise even believe her? Would Collin even believe her if she told everyone Penelope's biggest secret? Everyone knew that Penelope was in love with Collin Bridgerton and sometimes Amelia could see that Collin was also in love with Penelope, he just didn't show it as much. She sighed as she walked over to her bedside table and picked up the tiara, maybe she could give this back to Penelope and ask her about this whole Lady Whistledown thing, ask why she was doing it and maybe suggest a new plan that Amelia had been forming inside of her mind for awhile now.

''Oh, Jane!'' Amelia called out as she noticed one of the younger maids walking past her bedroom, Jane took a few steps back and poked her head through the open doorway, a bunch of laundry in her hands but she always seemed to have a smile on her face. ''I apologise if you are busy and I am disturbing you but I was wondering if you could ask the coachman to get a carriage ready for me, I need to go and pay somebody a visit.''

''Of course, I will get that sorted for you right away, Miss Phillips... By the way, It's good to see you getting out and about again.'' Jane replied in a soft voice her smile widening, she genuinly did look like she was happy to see Amelia.

''Thank you, I will be down in a few minutes.'' Amelia replied, returning one of her smiles before Jane began to walk away, continuing her chores for the day. Amelia had always felt close to Jane, they were both similar in age, Jane had always been there for her during her scandals and the dark moments, she also hated Mrs Phillips just as much as Amelia did, so in her mind that was a bonus. 

Amelia walked over to the window and started to look out of it, spring was definitely in the air today, she could see a few children running out on the street. They all looked so happy and free as they chased after each other with not a care in the world. She remembered what it was like for her as a child, her, Phoebe and Adam weren't allowed to do anything. They weren't allowed to run around, chase each other, get their clothes messy, play games, tell each other stories and just have a normal kid life. Their mother was strict, they always had to stay inside of the house, only going into the garden for a few hours of fresh air, most of the time they had to stay inside and help out around the house as much as they can. Summer was always the best time of year, where their father would always take them out to the beach, they would fly kites, look for sea shells, have a swim in the ocean, a picnic would always be spread out ontop of the blankets and she couldn't forget the ice cream as the sun was setting. Those were the days when they could escape their mother, now they never did anything like that anymore. She had always been stuck inside of a cage like a trapped bird and she always hoped for a day where she could be free. She continued to look out of the window, inspecting the outside world, hoping to catch a glimpse of Benedict but she was left disappointed when there was no sign of him.