And when I couldn't sleep at night

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𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧', 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞
𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭
𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐒𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

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Buck

"Dad, Dad, Daddy! Wake up." I hear a voice and recognize it as my daughter's sweet voice.

Sometimes she sounds like an angsty teenager and sometimes like a child who needs me by her side. These past few days since her hospital discharge, She's needed me more than ever since she's been in a school fire had a hospital medical emergency, and had an allergic reaction all in less than 3 months.

"Mils, what time is it?" I rub my eyes awake and see her standing at my bedroom doorframe holding the giraffe Chris gave her in the hospital, looking glum and scared.

"4:30 am. Sorry, I woke you. I had a nightmare. Can I sleep in here?" I watch her frown even more.

I don't like it when my baby girl is sad.

I've taken off so much work, that Bobby probably thinks that I quit.

Eddie has been checking on me every day since Amelia was discharged a week ago He either communicates through text or phone calls and I haven't responded since our kiss in the stairwell. Not because I don't love him but because I am putting my child's needs before my love life.

"What was your nightmare about? Was it about your mom?" I sit up in the king-size bed and make space for him to cuddle into my shoulder.

She used to do this all the time when she was a toddler but she grew out of cuddling at age 6.

Sometimes I miss having her clinging to me all the time.

I don't want her to grow up.

"It was about Eddie and Christopher." Amelia says quietly while tucking her head in my side, tiredly. 

"Hmm?" I brush her hair with my hands and let her talk.

"In the nightmare, they left us and ignored us like mom did," Amelia says with tears in her eyes.

"You're not going let them happen, Dad right? Eddie saved me and Chris is my best friend." Amelia says wide awake now with fear in her eyes while rubbing her burn scars and leg where she got injured earlier in the year.

Ever since her mom passed she's been clingy around me and also struggling to make friends in school.

I feel so guilty about it. It's my fault for fighting with her mom.

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