Hold Me Tight, For I Am Unlovely

Chapter 7 : I was my first victim, and now I am my last hope

A heavy lump formed in my throat as I swallowed, and instead of replying, I turned to look at the papers in my hand again. As if seeking solace and distraction within the inked lines. Going as far to scrutinize each and every word listed on the parchment. The names of the items left me dizzy with how much the price would be if the royal family returned it and then ten times more.

As I turned the page, the names and accompanying prices leaped out at me in bold, commanding letters. They seemed to possess a life of their own, taunting me with their exorbitant figures, it made my lips twitch. The weight of their value pressed upon my consciousness.

'If I add all these all up, I wonder how much zeroes would come up.'

"If.." I started, catching the attention of both of my parents who engaged in a soft whispered conversation upon seeing that I was silent. "If I were the one who wanted to annul the engagement, does that mean we would be the one paying this ten times over?" I let the question hang on the air.

My mother looked up as if contemplating. "Well, since the prince isn't marrying inside the Medicci, he didn't bring a dowry, unlike us." She said, carefully like she was remembering something.

"The royal family would give us 'allowances' instead." My father finished my mother's words. The teacup clinked when he put it down with a shrug. "At least, that's what it always was in cases of nobles marrying in the royal family."

My father took his copy of the document and flipped it leisurely. "However, since we are not just any random nobles. Our situation is a bit different." He nodded to his words, like he was confirming something.

"Which makes sense why his Majesty agreed to the annulment now that I think about it." I could hear my mother whisper from the sidelines.

This in turn made me confused. I was utterly lost. Because in Leticia's memories, the girl was far too engrossed on the fact that she was going to be engaged with the second prince that she did not consider reproductions, responsibilities and consequences of her actions. Leticia was far too thrilled on marrying the Prince.

She wasn't marrying for the sake of her family as most noble children her age was thinking, she marrying for her own honor.

The weight of her decisions, once dismissed as inconsequential, now bore down upon me with unrelenting force.

I pitied myself now, even more so than I did before.

With the weight of the present, where the stakes were higher, and the consequences more dire. The realization dawned upon me that her heedless pursuit of personal desires had set in motion a chain of events that would forever alter the course of her life.

Of my life now.

Hearing my father's words now, I suddenly realized what the Medicci family would get if I did marry into the royal family. Allowances? Honor? Bragging rights? For a ducal house, we have more than enough of this.

No, I'm sure there's another reason why the Medicci's let the engagement of the royal family and me, continue on. Saying that they dote on me and saying that's why they assented with the engagement is utterly bullshit, that was my parent's job, and my parents weren't the only Medicci out there.

I'm sure there's something—

"Ah!" The look of realization was surely painted on my face now, there was a expectant look on my father's face hearing my exclamation. "Business monopoly! That's what the Bamaltore Royal family promising the house of Medicci, not for just the Ducal household, but the whole clan as well."

Back in the 1700-1800's on earth, wasn't this the usual promise that would transpire between the noble families? This would even happen in the Song corporation's branches with one of it's shareholders. This was a usual practice! How could I have overlooked such a customary practice, especially one that had woven its way through the tapestry of noble society?

To think the novel would miss this kind of information.... though I am fairly certain that inkjabber hadn't thought this far ahead.

The weight of these agreements, laden with societal expectations, reverberated through the corridors of time. It was a world where personal desires were often eclipsed by the greater interests of the family and the maintenance of their esteemed positions.

'Yes, this was exactly what the noble society of this kingdom is after. Monopoly of the business under the Royal family. What better opportunity is it than to marry into it!'

I could see my father's smile from a mile away as he gazed at me, as if he knew what was going on inside my mind.

"I'm impressed," It was my mother who breathed out front beside me, her hands reached out to mine, unconsciously squeezing gently. Her mouth was slightly open, her disbelief was written all over her face.

Maybe because Leticia has been letting her parents down so much that it was actually easy to impress them like this now?

"This is exactly the main reason why the Baltimore and Medicci could coexist so serenely." Crossing his legs there was a bitter look on his face, "This is also the main reason that we had released to the public's ears, 'monopoly' is a very eye-catching word after all." He shook his head.

"It helps keep the rumours at bay when others essentially thought the Medicci was starting a revolution. My daughter marrying into the Royal family itself was like a threat to others on the court after all." Mother too, had a bitter look on her face.

"I wasn't too far off then?" I asked aloud, it wasn't that the Medicci wanted this benefit. I realized that we can live without this. But the word 'monopoly' was just a bait to cover for my selfish desires and to keep the other noble families in check.

In the end, everything was truly like this because I wanted it. Because Leticia wanted it. My parents were just executing my wish without letting me handle the consequences of my actions.