Friday - March 20th 2020
From the failure to acquire a job to the nightly recurring dreams...I'm tormented deeply.
I was deeply spiritual, raised as a Lutheran in fact, although not religious. However, right now, I feel as if God has forsaken me. My mother's words then came flooding back into my mind:
'Remember, there are people out there who have it far worst then you!'
It really does not take much effort to see what she said was true! In the parks, the homeless bunker down as the independent shop owners have been away from their businesses for almost two months!
Everywhere, money was tight! And people were dying from this mysterious disease without explanation of how it even began!
Those who did survive seemed 'changed', their very behavior was altered as people were socially distancing themselves from others, buying things in waves of mass hysteria!
I looked at my favorite seafood restaurant sitting right over the Sound, closed said the sign.
Everything was closed!
The virus had this city on a self-imposed lockdown. Usually, this place was bustling with tourists and visitors. But now, it was a ghost town as I read signs that speak of the virus that had sprang upon all of us, about two months ago.
Oddly, I like it this way.
Less people mean less chance of someone irritating you! Yet, I also miss my restaurants, shops, and even the public parks which are all closed off with signs of 'do not enter'!
With my condo in view, I hasten my pace. Even though I have seen no personal accounts of the COVID virus for myself, I was somehow unconsciously frightened of it! Anywhere and everywhere, it seemed to lurk! And even if I do not contract it...I am forever altered by it, socially.
My failure eats at my soul, darkening my world.
'Damnit!' as I stand at the crosswalk, waiting for the sign to say 'WALK'.
Don't jaywalk here! Well, unless you want a brief visit to the Bremerton jail yard! But it won't be for very long! They'll book you in and then quickly release you as the cops and judges are also afraid of the invisible attacker that was thinning the population!
'What the hell am I going to do now?'
No one wanted me...I was invisible to this world...like a ghost!
And yet, unseen, just behind my shoulder; I was being stalked, watched, and observed from a distance. I was so wrapped up in myself that I failed to see the specter watching me with the utmost interest...
Now...I must not parry! The time is now!
With the WALK signal illuminated in white, I crossed the intersection as I continued my inner dialogue...
'Where else could I apply to?' as I wondered if the aquariums needed a diver?
With the lockdown, no one was hiring new employees -- in fact, a new concept was sweeping the nation called 'Remote Working' from your home. This was one of the worst job losses since the Great Depression!
'Even if I got a job at a place like Point Defiance, how long would that job actually sustain me? Next pandemic and I'll be screwed! Maybe I should suck up my pride and get a job at a fast-food joint!' I shivered at the idea, flipping burgers for $13.50 per hour!
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