My Temptation

11

J A N E

I wake up with a slight headache from the alcohol I drank so I sit up in my bed while rubbing my temples. Slowly, I get out of bed and walk into my bathroom flipping the lights on. I take a quick shower then get ready for the day before going downstairs. Once I get downstairs my mind starts replaying the events that happened earlier in the morning with Miles. The kiss... the argument and then him leaving me outside. 

I try to push the thoughts out of my mind when something in the corner of my eye catches my attention as I'm walking past his room. My head darts to a piece of folded paper that's taped to his bedroom door which is shut. I grab the paper and unfold it but as soon as I read what it says, my heart stops. 

"I'm sorry for everything. Please don't try and reach out to me. I'm gone for good." it reads. I crumble the paper up and throw on the floor in anger. He really left?! When the hell did he have the time to pack up all his stuff and leave?! 

I pull out my phone and call my father trying not to panic. He answers immediately but before he could say a single word, I start yelling.

"Dad! Where the hell is Miles?!" I yell pacing back and forth 

"Janey, sweetheart.. he left this morning. He resigned from his position, he told me that there was some family emergency that he had to go take care of. He said that he already told you about it." He says and I can feel tears start to form in my eyes. 

I can't believe that he really left... he really just packed up all his shit and left without another thought. He left without saying goodbye.

"Right, he did mention that to me. But uhm, I - i didn't know that he would be leaving so soon." I say trying to mask the sadness in my voice 

"Well it must've been something really bad because he couldn't even give a notice. He said his resignation was effective immediately." He says and I let out a inaudible scoff 

"So then what are we going to do about my protection?" I ask walking into the kitchen 

"It's going to take me a little bit of time to find a replacement for now Jane. I did tell Miles that if everything got cleared up quickly then the position will still be available for him, but as of now, I have to hire someone else." He says 

"At least let me have a say in who it is this time please." I say and I hear him sigh deeply before agreeing then hanging up. 

I drop my phone on the island then lean against it putting my head in my hands. I feel so angry and sad at the same time, I don't even know what do to. I've spent the last however many weeks with Miles every morning and now I'm all alone again. 

I grab my phone again and call Hayley putting it on speaker,  but as soon as she answers the phone and I hear her voice I can't help but start to cry.

"Jane! Oh my God, what's the matter?! Why are you crying?" She asks with worry in her voice 

"Hayley... Miles left. He quit and he left." I say wiping my tears 

"What the hell do you mean he quit and left? What happened?" She asks. I start explaining everything that happened while going to sit at the dining table. Once I finish telling her everything there was a moment of silence before she starting speaking again.

"That is absolute bullshit! He finally caves in and kisses you then quits and leaves just a few hours after?! What kind of pathetic and coward shit is that? I can't believe it..." She says angrily and I let out a dry sarcastic laugh nodding my head.

"I know that he felt wrong and guilty about kissing me afterwards and he did say how he was going to leave but... I didn't think he was serious. I didn't think he would actually leave." I say and she sighs deeply 

"And the fact that he left you a note is insane, like he really couldn't face you or something?" She says scoffing 

"I just wish I could talk to him right now." I say 

"I know sweetie, I'm so sorry this happened. What's going to happen now though? With your protection and safety. Is your father going to hire someone else?" She asks 

"He says it's going to take a little bit of time but he will have to find a replacement. But he agreed to let me have a say in who it is this time." I say 

"Well at least he's letting you do that. Maybe this next one won't cause any trouble." She says and I laugh softly 

"Hopefully not. But I need to do something, I'm pretty sure he blocked my number because he knows I would try to call him immediately, so contacting him is out of the question." I say 

"No, you will not be doing anything except moving on and forgetting about him." She says 

"I'm not going to forget about him Hayley, I told him that. Even if I wanted to, I can't." I say and she smacks her lips 

"Well you're going to try! My cousin Jackson is coming into town next week and he's brining his college roommate with him. I'm going to set you up with his friend." She says and my eyes widen immediately 

"Hell no! I don't want you to set me up with anyone Hayley!" I say 

"Jane, you need to distract yourself and what better way to do so than with a guy? Jackson said that he's 22 and he wants to meet someone out here. You are going to be that someone." She says and I let out an annoyed sigh 

"Do you remember the last time you set me up with someone?" I ask 

"Oh come on! You still remember that?!" She says 

"He was a freak Hayley! He was 24 and he would still sit on his mother's lap and cry whenever he was upset about something." I say and she goes quiet for a moment 

"Okay yes, he was very weird but I've seen this guy on facetime before! He's very good looking and he's nice. I know for a fact that you'll like him." She says 

"What's his name?" I ask and she squeals excitedly knowing that I can't say no to her

"His name is Mason." She says and I sit there thinking about for a long moment. I roll my eyes and curse to myself before speaking up.

"Fine, I'll meet him. If I like him then we'll go from there." I say 

"Great! I'll let Jackson know!" She says and hangs up before I could say anything else. 

I scoff putting my phone down on table then get up walking out of the kitchen and to Miles's room. I open it slowly and it looks so different now, I was so used to it being filled with his things and now there's nothing except the bed, the dresser, the body-mirror and the nightstand. I lean against the door frame and stare at the empty bed.

God, why? Why did I have to fall for him?! And why did he have to leave me?

•••

M I L E S

I drove and drove and drove until I got back to my hometown, Langston in Michigan. I walk into my apartment there and drop all my things on the floor then sit down on my couch. The silence soon starts to engulf me and I can feel my breathing begin to quicken. All I can think about is Jane and how she's probably awake right now and freaking out that I left. My entire drive back here, I kept arguing with myself back and forth on whether I should turn my car around and go back to her or not. But I couldn't let myself do that, I decided to leave and I have to stick with that. I know I hurt her but this is for the better. Even if it's killing me.

As soon as I got on the rode I blocked her number, I knew that as soon as she saw that I was gone, she would try to contact me even though I told her not to in the letter. Leaving a letter like that with no other explanation was such a coward move, but I just didn't know what else to do. I couldn't face her, I couldn't hear her voice because if I did, I would still be there.

I stopped at some rest stop during my drive and emailed my boss explaining that I had to resign from that position due to personal issues and luckily he didn't question it. Now I just have to wait for another family to hire me through the company.. hopefully with the next family, there won't be any problems. 

•••

After a couple of hours of sitting on my couch and sulking, I had to force myself to get up and unpack. I never completely unpack my things because I never know how soon another family will need me, so I just unpack the most essential things and half of my clothes. As I'm unpacking I start getting a call and my heart stops for a second thinking it's Jane but then I realize that wouldn't be possible. Pulling my phone out of my pocket I see that it's my best friend Brian. I quickly answer and put the phone on speaker, leaving it on my bed.

"Hey Brian." I say in a monotone voice 

"Miles! My sister just told me that she saw you driving back into town. What're you doing back so soon? You're usually gone for at least 3 months." He says 

"There were some personal issues and I couldn't stay there." I say sighing 

"Uh oh... what kind of personal issues?" He asks with worry. Brian and I have been best friends since we were 10. He knows everything about what happened to me with the girl from years ago, so since then, he always made sure to keep me in check. 

I don't reply to his question and he let out a deep sigh before speaking again. "Please don't tell me that you fell for another one." He says and I scoff 

"She's different Brian, she's not even remotely the same as her." I say 

"Miles, you know what happened last time that you fell for a girl you were working for." He says 

"And I just told you that she isn't anything like Melanie. She isn't even in the same ballpark of her." I say smiling to myself as I remember the kiss.

"Okay, tell you what. I'll meet you at the bar tonight at 9, we'll get a couple of drinks and you can tell me all about how completely different she is from Melanie." He says sounding sarcastic in the last part

"9 it is. See you then Brian, bye." I say annoyed and hang up. 

I finish unpacking 15 minutes later then lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling. My mind starts racing with thoughts and all I can think of is how I wish things were different. If Jane wasn't the girl I was literally suppose to be a bodyguard for, I would've made her mine weeks ago.

I could have very well given in and we would've start a secret relationship... but that's the thing, I wouldn't want it to be a secret with Jane. Jane is absolutely the most perfect and beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on, she's sweet - at least once we became friends -, she's funny and I never felt so comfortable around a girl before like I did with her. Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, the way I always had to help her get things off the top shelf, I just loved everything about being there with her. I know I told her that she should move on and forget about me but I hope she really never forgets me. 

I check the time and I still have a few hours until I meet with Brian so I set an alarm for 2 hours and close my eyes to nap. The last thought in my mind until everything goes dark is her. It's Jane and it will always be her.