My Temptation

8

J A N E 

Being around Miles is hard, knowing that I feel something for him but not being able to do anything about it. I want to know what he's thinking, I want to know how he feels - I need to know how he feels. If only I could just straight up ask him how he feels, but I know that'll put a strain on the friendship we've built and it'll make it difficult for him to continue working for us, and I do not want him leaving anytime soon. Funny how things have changed from when he first got here until now. 

Chicago has been having a rainstorm for the past few days now so Miles and I have been stuck in the house for days and it's starting to drive me crazy. It was easier staying in the house everyday when he first got here because I didn't want him around me so I purposely didn't go out -  but now, I have to stay inside the house due to the weather and I hate it. 

•••

"Oh my God, when is this rain going to end?" Miles asks with a groan as he walks into the kitchen, I look over at him and I can't help but gawk my eyes at him. He's wearing black sweat shorts and a black long sleeve shirt that hugs his body tightly. 

"Sadly I'm not a weather woman so I wouldn't be able to tell you that." I say and he laughs 

"Very funny Janey, that was a rhetorical question." He says opening the fridge and grabbing two coke bottles. He sets one on the counter and pushes towards me. I grab it and smile at him, "Thanks, and luckily it's just rain. At least it's not lighting or thundering." I say sitting on the island and he joins me. 

He opens my coke bottle for me then opens his own before speaking again.

"Are you afraid of thunder and lighting?" He asks with a sly smile and I roll my eyes playfully shoving his arm

"I'm not a little kid, of course I'm not afraid but I just don't like it. I love the sunshine and the hot weather." I say and he looks at me with wide eyes 

"I hate the hot weather, you're always sweating and it gets so humid here." He says and I shrug my shoulders 

"The cold weather is worse, you're always cold and over here it gets extremely cold." I say sipping my soda 

"I guess I agree with that, but I'd rather be cold than hot. When it's cold, you can bundle up and stay warm but when it's hot, there isn't much you can do." He says and I nod in agreement.

"You're right about that." I say annoyed and he laughs 

"I'm always right." He says and I scoff 

"Oh please, you wish." I say and he stares at me and smiles. I stare back at him and a short silence falls between us before I speak up again, "Uhm, what do you want for dinner tonight?" I ask 

"I was just about to ask you that, and I also wanted to say that since you've been cooking dinner the past few days, why don't you take a break tonight and let me do the cooking." He says and I raise my eyebrows 

"You want to cook?" I ask and he nods "Why? So you can poison me and you'll finally get to escape from me?" I ask jokingly and he laughs 

"I'd never want to escape from you." He casually says with a chuckle and my eyes widen slightly, my heart skips a  beat when he says that and I see his face turn a light shade of red once he realizes what he said. "I'm sorry, uhm I just meant that I like working here." He says rubbing the back of his neck 

"That's fine.. but uhm, it's fine with me if you want to cook tonight." I say and he nods. He quickly gets up and walks to fridge opening it. I watch him as his back is turned towards me and he's looking through the fridge.

"We have steaks on the second shelf." I say in a nervous tone 

"Steaks sound good. I can make asparagus and mashed potatoes on the side. Is that fine?" He asks without turning to me

"I'm okay with that." I say and he nods. I watch as he bends down and take out the package of steaks then sets them on the counter. He takes out the asparagus and puts them in the sink. 

"I need to go upstairs for a bit, if you need help or anything just call for me." I say and quickly get up and leave the kitchen rushing up the stairs.


•••

M I L E S

Why the hell am I so stupid sometimes? How could I let something like that slip from my mouth? I need to think before I speak because next time, I'm going to say something that I really can't take back. Jane makes me so weak, especially when I'm so close to her.. when I'm so close that I can smell her berry scented perfume or her coconut hair wash. I need to be able to control my words around her and I need to control my eyes too, there's been a few occasions where I catch myself slipping and staring at her for too long. I just can't help myself sometimes, she's just so perfect. If it wasn't for this damn rule in my company, I would've made her mine already.

I don't know what to do, I know I can't do what I want but I don't know how much longer I can go without revealing my feelings. I can't lose my job, I love what I do and this is all I've known.. but Jane is different. She's different from all the other beautiful and attractive woman I've worked for. The more I'm around her, the harder it gets to keep my feelings locked away, I don't know how I'm going to do it but I need to keep my distance from her. I'm here for one reason and one reason only, to protect her. 

I've been preparing dinner for the past ten minutes when I suddenly hear Jane coming down the stairs and walking towards the kitchen. 

"Miles." She says and I can tell by her voice that there's something wrong, alarm bells instantly go off in my head. 

"Hey Jane." I say dryly and without looking back at her. 

The sound of the fridge opening then closing abruptly catches my attention immediately. I turn around and see her standing on the other side of the island with her arms crossed over her chest, she's looking at me with annoyance.

"What's the matter?" I ask and she scoffs taking two steps closer to me which causes me to take two steps back from her.

"You're asking me what's the matter? I could ask you the same thing." She says 

"What're you talking about? You just walked into the kitchen a minute ago, why would there be something wrong with me?" I ask and turn back around beginning to cook. I hear her smack her lips then she quickly makes her way towards me. She grabs my upper arm and jerks me back around to face her.

"Why are you acting like this?" She asks and I slightly shrug my shoulders, pretending I'm confused.

"I don't know what you mean Jane, I'm perfectly fine." I say and her eyebrow raises 

"Usually when I walk into the same room that you're in, I'm greeted with a smile and sweet tone in your voice. But that didn't happen just now." She says 

"Jane... I - I just don't really feel like talking at the moment. That'll all." I say 

"Why Miles? You've never acted like this before, so what's the problem now?" She asks and I sigh. I look down at the floor and run my hand through my hair before looking back up at her

"I just need to be alone, I need to be by myself right now. I can't be around you." I say and she puts her hands on hips slowly swaying back and forth

"You're not explaining anything to me Miles, you're just saying a bunch of words but none of it is making any sense." She says stepping closer to me. I step back and my back hits the wall leaving me with nowhere else to go 

She comes closer to me until I can feel her body heat radiating off of her, the closeness of her body to mine causes me to sweat. I can't handle this, I'm about to lose my mind.

"Jane I can't do this! Being around you is driving me insane and I can't handle it anymore!" I yell in frustration and she looks at me confused 

"What do you mean you can't handle it? You can't handle being around me anymore?! What did I do to make you feel this way?" She asks and I sigh deeply, now stepping even closer to her causing her to have to look up to me, I can hear her breath beginning to slow down. 

"There's so much I want to say and do, but I can't and I won't. I can't lose my job." I say and I watch her hand slowly inch closer to me as her finger tips gently touch my arm

"If what you want to say to me is regarding your feelings for me.. then I want you to say it. It's just you and I here, no one else will know." She says is a hushed tone.

I stare at her lips for a moment then avert my eyes to hers and she's already staring at me. There is nothing I would rather do right now than kiss her, I want to grab her face and kiss her so deeply that she'll forget about everything else. 

"I can't do this Jane, I could lose my job if anyone other than you finds out and I can't risk that." I say 

"So what're you saying?" She asks and I sigh while slowly pulling my arm away from her touch. The absence of her touch in that area causes my arm to turn cold almost immediately.

"So I'm saying that there's nothing else for me to say Jane, there's nothing for me to admit." I say and her arms drop to her side as she looks at me with hurt. I gently push past her and walk back to the stove to finish cooking.

"I have to finish cooking dinner. It'll be ready in 15 minutes." I say not looking at her again. God knows that if I look at her again right now then I'll give in within a second. 

"Fine. Don't say anything." She says and walks out of the kitchen without saying another word. I hear her running up the stairs then a door slam shut. 

Once I knew for sure that she couldn't hear me, I let out a deep groan and curse to myself. I slam my hand against the kitchen counter in anger. I never should've continued talking, I should have just shut her up or ignored her somehow. Now who knows if she's going to talk to me again...

•••

J A N E 

Why does he have to be like that?! So damn noble and honorable.. I gave him a chance to admit his feelings for me or to do something and he didn't! I know he can't because of his job but it's not like he's being spied on 24/7, nobody would have found out.  I know how to keep a secret, especially if it's something serious like that. I could tell he so badly wanted to say something or to do something, but his fear of getting caught didn't let him. 

 I mean my father is barley ever here so we wouldn't get caught. I just want him to give in.. at least a little bit, I want him to admit his feelings for me so I don't feel like I'm going crazy. I know he feels something but I just want to hear him say it.

"Dinner's ready!" I hear Miles yell from the kitchen and I sigh to myself before leaving my room and going downstairs to the kitchen very slowly. 

I walk into the kitchen to see he's plated my food for me and put it on the table, I watch him as he plates his food and walks to the island to sit there. 

"So you aren't even going to sit with me to eat?" I ask in disbelief. I walk to the table and sit where my plate is at

"Jane please.. I can't do this right now. I already said too much and I don't want to risk saying anything more." He says beginning to eat, I scoff and smack my lips together. I get up grabbing my plate of food then walking to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of Corona before turning to him.

"Well Miles, I'm not just going to sit at the table by myself eating in silence. So I'm going to eat in the living room and watch a movie so at least I'll have some type of entertainment." I say and walk out the kitchen to the living room. 

I sit on the couch and turn on the television as I begin eating. I open my beer bottle and take a big gulp of it. I sit there watching, eating and silently hoping he will get off his high horse and join me.. but he doesn't. It's like we are right back to square one.