My Temptation

9

J A N E

After the little altercation with Miles two nights ago, him and I haven't really spoken to one another since then. To say it's awkward is an understatement, you can just feel the awkward tension in the air whenever we are around each other. Not to mention, it's extremely difficult not speaking when we are around each other. Over the course of these few weeks since we made up and gotten closer, we sort of fell into a routine but now that routine is put on pause or disturbed so there hasn't been much of anything going on.

Whenever we are around each other though it's like I can feel his need and want to say something to me about what happened, but he doesn't, and I'm too stubborn to say anything as well. So silence it is.

"Hayley I'm not sure what I can even do anymore, or what I should do." I say to my best friend over the phone. I've been cleaning my room all afternoon and ranting to Hayley about the situation with Miles for the past half hour.

"Jane, I don't think there is much that you can do. I know you have some sort of feelings for him and he may have feelings for you but it's not allowed. You know that, he could lose his entire career if something were to happen between you two." She says and I roll my eyes

"Only if we were to get caught and I don't think either one of us is stupid enough to get caught." I say and she let's out a sarcastic laugh

"I'm sure that one guy from a few years ago said the same thing." She says causing me to scoff

"Hayley, I'm serious. I just - I... I just want him to admit his feelings for me. I can feel something when he looks at me, I know he feels something and I just want him to admit it." I say putting my phone on speaker and setting it down on my dresser as I start cleaning my full body mirror.

"Miles is an honest and honorable man from what you've told me and I can tell that he's very serious about his career. He doesn't want to ruin that." She says

"But he should know that I would never snitch on him or anything. I just don't understand why he doesn't trust me." I say going into my connected bathroom and washing my hands then going back into my room

"Maybe something happened to him in that past in his career and that's why he's having a hard time trusting you." She says. I grab my phone and lay on my bed putting my phone on my stomach.

"Like what?" I ask

"Ask him. Maybe you need to find out why he doesn't trust you before you find out if he has feelings for you or not." She says and I stay silent for a second just staring up at the ceiling. I hate when she makes a good point.

"You're right, that seems like my only option." I say sitting up on my bed. I take my phone off speaker and put the phone up to my ear

"I'm always right. Let me know how everything goes." She says and my eyes widen. "You want me to do that now?!" I ask

"Well of course! If not now, then when?" She asks

"But we haven't spoken since that night Hayley and I don't want to be the first one to speak up." I say

"Too bad Jane, you either do it now or you'll just have to deal with not knowing how he really feels about you" She says and I scoff

"I hate you." I say annoyed and she laughs, "I love you too." She says and hangs up

I toss my phone on my bed and get up, I begin pacing around the room trying to think if I should really do this or not. On one hand, she's right - I need to confront him about why he doesn't trust me and that could be the only way I found out if he feels something for me or not. But on the other hand, like I said, I'm stubborn and I don't want to be the one to break the silence first.