Impulse

16

Sterling

When we made it back we headed to my room, but the place seemed to be empty. I took off my shoes feeling free finally and i sat on my bed while Nate sat next to me.

"Okay, next Nate mystery, spill" i smiled a bit and he laughed.

"It's dark are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Okay, when i was 10 both of my parents died in a brutal car accident and i was an orphan until my aunt, Emma our manager, adopted me at 15. It took her awhile to get custody of me since she's only related by a past marriage with my Uncle. All the public knows is i was adopted, not by who and never disclosed my parents not being alive" he paused for a second before continuing.

"So i get what it feels like to be alone with people you don't even know. I didn't want you to feel isolated and alone. It's the worse feeling in the world and you specifically light up every room you walk into. I didn't want to see that light die because you're stuck with a bunch of privileged assholes even if you signed up for it"

"I'm so so sorry Nate" i frowned and leaned over to hug him. He reciprocated the hug quickly holding me tightly. I let go after a few seconds.

"Well now that i've told you my family shit your turn" he teased.

"Not the fairest of trades, i can't exactly level with that but I'll tell you. I'm from North Carolina, i left to move to LA at 18 because my parents didn't believe in my dream of being a photographer, and prior to that my dad would beat me and my mom and my mom wouldn't ever leave him. He's really the unsupportive one, but my mom and i learned early on not to disagree if we didn't want to be hit. So i've gone no contact with both of them since then because i can't really respect my mom for not only putting herself through that, but me too. I tried to get us help, but no one ever listens and when they would my mom would deny and tell everyone i was not mentally well" i admitted making sure not to make eye contact with him while saying it, because i don't think i would've been able to tell him all of it seeing his live reaction.

"No one deserves that. Especially not you Sterling, I'm so sorry. That's awful, and pardon me but there's a special place in hell for your dad." he spoke softly. I nodded at the ground and he picked up my chin to look at him.

"But hey, look at where you are now. You're touring with may i say one of the greatest bands on earth, you're making amazing money, you're extremely talented, and you have such a long and successful career ahead of you. You're proving him wrong every day and that's something to be proud of" he reassured me.

"Thank you" i spoke lowly, but i smiled. "i needed to hear that honestly"

"Of course Belmore" he said giving me a smile.

His hand didn't move from my chin and our eye contact stayed on each-others gaze. It may be the alcohol lapsing my judgement, but i really want him.

I leaned in slightly, just to test his feelings about it and he automatically did the same. In seconds our lips were on each other again moving slowly and in sync. I rested my hand on the side of his face and his hand slid up from my chin to the side of my face. Our pace quickened after a second and i climbed into his lap straddling him and forcing him down onto my bed as i kissed him moving my hand down to his top unbuttoning more of the buttons. He started unzipping my skirt, but before either of us finished he pulled away.

"Wait wait wait" he whispered and i pulled away completely zipping my skirt back up and getting off of him.

"I'm so sorry, i thought" i started but he cut me off.

"No you thought correctly, i promise." he sighed sitting up.

"If we're going to do this though, it's not going to be anything but sober the first time. I don't want you to regret this in any way and then feel even more alone" he explained.

He moved closer kissing me gently before breaking away and resting his forehead on mine.

"You drive me crazy Belmore, in the best way. I want you, all of you. I just need to know you want me and i won't know that until tomorrow when you sober up" he whispered and i nodded slightly.

"Okay" i said softly back and kissed him one more time, making it slow and sweet before pulling away.

"I'm going to go get settled for bed okay?" he asked me and i nodded.

"Goodnight Belmore" he smiled a little and kissed my forehead softly.

"Goodnight Rockstar" i replied and he left.

I got up and got changed into my pjs which was a struggle with how dizzy i was. The mix of alcohol and adrenaline was really getting to me.

I hit my pillow and was out in seconds.