the silence of despair. ONE PIECE

15. For you, my most beloved nakamas..

In Dazai's existence, numbness was all that she knew.

Numbness fuels the flickering of the curse that flows through her veins. a numbness that dims her view of the outside world and makes her perceive only nothingness.

She always knew that something was wrong with her, that something was missing from within her. Everything about her was strange and weird, yet even when she felt a lot of things, emptiness always compromised everything.

She once knew wrath in Kana's flames, greed in Mori-sama's eyes, sadness in Chuuya's eyes, revenge in Izu's eyes, and fear in Robin's eyes, but she has no idea what she sees in Odasaku's. It aches to stare into his eyes because she has no idea what his eyes are telling her.

In the golden eyes of Oda Sakunasude, she finds compassion and gentleness, but also something greater and more entirely human that she can never acquire.

But even in his final moments, the peculiar feeling that burned over Odasaku's eyes and illuminated his face on Dazai's dark path remained.

His body is so cold in her grasp that Dazai's heart trembles. Because the bitter coldness that has taken over Odasaku's body is the last line of his life. (Because death was the most powerful of all the gods, nothing could ever stop the tragedy from happening, no matter how loudly she screamed and defied them).

A bleeding palm cups her cheek, and her lips shiver as she stares at her dear one.

'Why do you have this expression on your face, Dazai?

'Dazai, why do you look so sad?' I ask and your only response is through your tearless eyes.

"Don't cry, Dazai," whispers Odasaku in the crook of her neck.

'Tell me, Dazai, will it rain on the earth when you finally cry?'.

I wonder how your lovely crimson eyes will be filled with tears.

But I know that your red eyes stare at me intently every time you see me, and your breath is as warm as the sun that peeks through my house's curtains.

Dazai's mouth parted, and she choked on the thick knot that was strangling her throat.

"Odasaku... Yasano's ability can save you! You must hold on!" she begs, her voice quivering and clutching his hand as if it is the last time.

'I wonder if you ever know how much you are important to me'

The sight of Dazai's heartbroken, frozen face causes Odasaku's tearful eyes to well up with pain. His bloodied fingers caress Dazai's cheek for the final time, trying to remember how her flesh feels and how his callous hands felt against his Dazai.

'I wonder what will your smiles be like when you are finally free'

"Listen to me, Dazai.I don't have much time left, so please listen carefully." Odasaku began, his breathing rough and heavy as he coughed up some blood to prevent from suffocating.

'My dear Shanks revealed that he finally found him; it's merely the beginning, Dazai. I hope you will forgive me after this.'

Dazai's arms quiver as they desperately hold him tightly.

"Be free. Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but... saving others is something just a bit wonderful", He smiles broadly at her, hoping Dazai will remember his smile, but his smile fades as he coughs up more blood, tarnishing both his and Dazai's clothes. He takes a deep breath and continues, retaining Dazai's broken stare, "And on this side, I promise you that you will find what you have been seeking. He is waiting for you on this road of freedom. He will surpass everything you could have ever dreamed of in your existence. He will shadow all the evil kings and gods who took so much from you. Just go find him, and if you lose hope again, he will find you like a star descending from the sky into the palm of your hands".