Back to before, Vivianne Meidema.

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WE AINT TALKING ABOUT THE FACT I JUST SPENT AGES WRITING THIS AND THEN FUCKING DELETED IT.

Right, sorry person who requested this, its even later now than it should have been.

This might feel abut rushed, I'm just very emotional right now. It's been a long day, man.

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Y/ns pov.

'You can't be fucking serious.' My girlfriend Viv and I are in an extremely heated argument about a scrap me and Katie got into earlier in training.

It wasn't even that big of a deal. We made up like five seconds later, just like we normally do.

'You were completely out of line y/n, you need to sort yourself out.' She shouts back.

'Why don't you, I'm your girlfriend you should be taking my side, not hers. It's not even like we are fighting anymore.' I tell her.

'You're pathetic y/n.' She screams at me, that one stung. I can't believe my own girlfriend would say that to me.

'You know what, I'm sleeping at Leahs tonight, see you after camp.' I bearly whisper. I can see the regret in her eyes, but she doesn't say anything, so I grab my luggage and leave.

We are going on international duty tomorrow and I was getting a lift with Leah anyway so I don't think she will mind me crashing on her sofa for the night, something I used to do often.

I get to Leahs front door, tears in my eyes, and as soon as I knock, she opens it, takes one look at me, and immediately throws her arms around my shoulders.

Sometimes, I think she just knows when I'm upset and I'm gonna turn up at her house or sommat because that was fast.

She takes my stuff and leads me into her living room, we sit on her sofa, and she rests her hand on my back for some support.

'What's happened y/n/n.?' She asks softly.

'She thinks I'm pathetic Le.' I cry, covering my face with my hands.

'I'm sure she doesn't.' She says.

'She does. She said it herself. We were arguing about earlier in training with Katie, and she was acting like it was all my fault.' I tell her.

'She might have just said it in the heat of the moment.' I don't reply, I just keep crying into my hands.

Once I calm down a bit, leah goes upstairs to let me get some rest for tomorrow.

The whole way to St George's Park, I didn't say a word. Luckily, we were one of the first ones there as Leah always likes to be early, so that means I don't have to talk to anyone.

I keep off to the side with my hood up as everyone arrives, hoping they will take the hint and just leave me alone. Most of them do, knowing how I can get.

Millie and Rach, however, don't. See, us three always know how to cause havoc and are always caught doing dangerous stuff, so I'm the first one they look for upon arrival.

'You alright y/n/n? you're normally talking to everyone, not sitting on your own.' Rach says.

'I'm fine.' I snap, getting up and heading for the gym, not even bothering to find out who I'm rooming with.

Once I get there, I go straight for the punch bag, not even bothering to wrap my knuckles or owt like that. Something I used to do before Viv.

I start punching the shit out of it, trying to get out some of my anger. It really threw me off when Viv said that. She knows that's the type of shit my mum used to call me. Why would she do that.

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