To Love & To Loathe (Jingliu X Fem Reader)

Chapter 9: Hesitation

Back at the present, Jingliu looked up at Y/n with a quiet, yet cold gaze, as she held her sword in front of her in a stance ready to make a deadly attack. It was a small reunion indeed, but there was still a lot of tension between the two and the silence felt thick and stifling.

Her facial expression still held a mixture of rage, bitterness, and sadness as she saw her former student and lover in front of her after Y/n managed to lure her out from the shadows earlier. Though she was relieved to finally be reunited with her lover, she was also still resentful towards her for having chosen to be with the Abundance instead of her.

"...Traitor..? Is that how you're still going to address me even when I'm one of the judges here in the Ten-Lords Commissions now, mentor?" Y/n asked.

"You were and still a traitor. Even if you have joined the Ten-Lords Commissions, it doesn't change a damn thing."

Jingliu's voice was still filled with bitterness and spite, as she remained steadfast in her belief after all the betrayal of trust and loyalty she has shown to her.

Yet Y/n only chuckle in amusement.

"Mentor, you haven't change a bit, have you? So now, what you're implying is that I'm a hypocrite?"

"Oh? Don't you realize for yourself that you're a coward, who betrayed their own feelings and turned their back on the one who loved you? Who still serve the Xianzhou Alliance even today with a high status of being a judge yet only to betray them in the end?"

"Although I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. What else would you call the one who betrayed their mentor and teacher along with the one in which they held dear and love in order to turn their back against them. The very thing that you should have valued and cherished the most yet threw away the second the opportunity arose. I would not call it being a hypocrite, but instead, being a cruel and heartless traitor you are."

Jingliu didn't hesitate in speaking, as she was too angry and frustrated with the situation to even filter her words. She let her raw emotions take over and speak her truths for her, without a hint of consideration for what she had just said.

Although Jingliu couldn't believe that her words seemed to have no effect on her lover. For she was completely surprised and angered by the lack of any emotion or reaction from Y/n, who simply smirked at her spiteful comments.

It only served to further fuel her rage, as she couldn't believe that her former apprentice would not even defend herself and stay silent and uncaring in facing such harsh words and labels.

"Mentor, let me ask you this..."

Jingliu remained still and unshaken as she watched her former lover approach her, feeling resolute and firm in her decision to stand her ground.

"Oh? Speak. I want to see what kind of nonsense will come out of your mouth."

"Well, do you... still hate me for being a traitor to the Luofu centuries from the past?"

The direct question by her former student caught Jingliu off-guard, as she wasn't quite sure as to how to answer. Her heart and mind were constantly at war with one another, where her heart was still longing for Y/n but her mind remained angry and resentful. She tried to figure out what kind of answer she should provide as she thought over her choices carefully.

"Let me flip the question back at you instead. Do you still believe that you were right in betraying and choosing the Abundance back then?"

"...."

Jingliu only noticed the amusement on Y/n's face, as she continued to fixed her gaze and avoided her former lover's question. Now her mind was also filled with bitterness and annoyance, as she couldn't believe her former apprentice's twisted reactions.

Her heart once again grew restless as she was still unable to let go of her love for Y/n, but her mind would still try to find a reason loathe her for her betrayal.

As Y/n moved in to close the gap, Jingliu pointed her sword at her former lover, with the tip directly aimed at her throat. Now she was no longer in the mood to let her speak her thoughts or ask any more questions, as she just wanted to hear a clear answer. As such, she was silent and wanted to get straight to the point, with no more beating around the bush.

"...Mentor, even as of today, you know it yourself that I'm still a loyal follower of The Abundance."

Y/n then gaze back at the sprout that she helped rise back with her blessing.

"The flowers share their petals without care, waiting for their inevitable withering destiny. The birds fly high in song, moving toward their inevitable crash and death. The streams flow rapidly with life, in a direction where they inevitably run dry."

"Tell me, mentor. Why must all things come to an end? When we, The Abundance could extend the life of a person beyond one's imagination?"

Jingliu was taken aback by her sudden statement of loyalty to the Abundance, which was the cause of many of the problems and issues in the Xianzhou Alliance, despite being part of the Ten-Lords Commision.

However, this didn't change her opinion and bitterness about The Abundance.

"Everything must come to an end, that is the nature of life, it is inevitable. Death will always claim its due. What is given must also be taken away. There is no escaping fate. Death comes for all, and The Abundance can't escape that fact."

Y/n listened to her master's statement before she chuckle once more.

"Mentor... then tell me, why didn't you report me after I betray the Xianzhou from the past?"

To see her former apprentice leaning her neck towards the tip of her sword only served to further anger and frustrate her, as she wanted to strike her but her love for Y/n stopped her from doing so. The dripping of blood also caused the bitter feeling in her heart to grow as she recalled past memories of their last encounters.

"Why did you still let me join the Ten-Lords Commissions even as of today knowing fully well that I would betray the Luofu once again?"

However, Jingliu still found the situation amusing and ironic as it showed her that Y/n had not changed a single bit, with just how careless and fearless she remained, despite knowing how skilled and dangerous her mentor was.

"Why do YOU think that I didn't report you when you betrayed the Alliance centuries ago?" Jingliu spoke calmly but sternly, as she continued to look directly in Y/n's eyes.

"...."

"Answer my question." Jingliu's voice became sharp as she maintained her direct eye contact with her former lover, though this only caused her to be more frustrated due to her failure in controlling her temper.

She refused to continue on until Y/n provided her with some kind of answer to her question as she remained persistent in getting what she wanted from her former apprentice.

"You wanted my assumptions? Alright then, it's because..."

Y/n just smirked slightly before grabbing Jingliu's swords and let herself be stabbed by it on the chest.

"...That you couldn't kill me yourself."