To Love & To Loathe (Jingliu X Fem Reader)

Chapter 11: I Love You So

Y/n could only stay silent since that wasn't the she was expected to hear from her master.

"You probably want an explanation for why I came here just to find you, so I suppose I should provide you with one as well..."

Jingliu took a few seconds to gather her thoughts, before finally speaking again, this time in a rather solemn and serious tone.

"I'm here to reclaim you."

"...Excuse me?"

Y/n was confused by Jingliu's confession since a minute ago, she was filled with hatred and resentment towards her student, now she is saying that she want to reclaim her.

Despite how contradicting it seemed, Jingliu still meant what she said. Though she may have felt bitter and resentful towards Y/n, her strong feelings for her former girlfriend still remained as she could not let go of her as easily as she thought she would.

"That is why I'm here. To reclaim you. For you have strayed from your proper path. For you were once my apprentice, but now I feel that you have become something else entirely."

"Mentor, I already have told you–"

"I don't want excuses." Jingliu snapped as she finally revealed her true emotions.

It was clear that she was not at all happy about the way her former apprentice changed so drastically and became someone completely different. To her, she could no longer see the Y/n that she once knew and loved, but a different and corrupted version of her.

Before Y/n could say anything else, she was a bit surprised that Jingliu was already in front of her, grabbing her chin firmly.

"Tell me, my student, do you have any idea how much I detest seeing you like this? How much it troubles me to see you being led astray by The Abundance and their blessings? You do not know how much it frustrates me that the person who once stood before me was no longer the same person I once knew and cared for. Do you..?! Do you have any idea!?"

Jingliu's grip on Y/n's chin was firm but not harsh. She stood in front of her, holding her former apprentice's face as she removed her veil and revealed her piercing eyes, which stared directly into her student's soul. With this, Y/n found herself unable to look directly into the eyes of her master, even when she was being asked such a question. Instead, she could only look away and turn away from the intense gaze of Jingliu.

"...."

Seeing how Y/n kept her gaze away, Jingliu then finally let go of her former apprentice's face as she stepped back a little bit and crossed her arms in frustration.

"....You are a stubborn child."

Y/n sighed after, "You cannot change my ideals and my perspective about The Abundance, mentor."

"And that is also probably why it pains me so much to see you like this, because I know I can't convince you otherwise. It wouldn't even matter if I tried, as you would only brush off my words and ignore my reasoning."

Jingliu spoke softly and with a slight hint of sadness in her voice, as she recalled all of the times she had attempted to talk sense into her former apprentice but to no avail. She knew that Y/n would most likely continue to follow The Abundance for the rest of her life.

"...Mentor..." Y/n whispered as she slowly approached Jingliu and helped her tied back the veil to her eyes

"Time isn't in our favor. Nor do I have choice."

"But you always have a choice..." Jingliu muttered before sighing deeply.

She still remained unmovable as she had already made up her mind as to her course of action regarding the topic at hand.

"I don't." Y/n responded back with a solemn tone before heaving a sigh and placed her hand on Jingliu's shoulders.

"Y/n, what happened to the girl who I once raised and trained? The one who was sharp and bright, the one full of spirit and compassion but was still firm and principled?"

Jingliu shook her head as she continued to speak, with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"I feel pain and bitterness everytime I recalled something about you or your actions. Yet I always think of you the same."

"...."

Jingliu stayed silent once more as she looked upon the girl who she let herself be fallen in love with yet felt so far away and foreign.

"...Jingliu..." Y/n whispered her master's name.

"Even if you resent me, hate me, loathed me, or even kill me for my betrayal. I am always here, loving you willingly and endlessly."

Despite Jingliu's strong stance and her actions till now, there was a pang of sadness and pain that struck her heart when she heard Y/n's words.

"This is what I don't understand," Jingliu whispered back as she stared into her lover's eyes beneath her veil. "You still talk of love and affection towards me even when your actions go against everything that I taught you."

"...I know... I really am... an awful person, aren't I? And I'm also not expecting for your forgiveness for what I am going to do right now."

Before Jingliu could process what she meant, Y/n directly leaned and kiss her lover without permission.

"...."

Jingliu froze for a moment, thinking the audacity Y/n had to kissed her in spite of everything that she may have done.

For a time that felt like eternity, she remained still yet speechless as her former apprentice's lips on hers. However, something in her heart moved as she realized that regardless of everything, Y/n still loved her and held affection towards her, just like how she did until now.

She was still lost in feelings and emotions that she was conflicting, with a hint of confusion now added in as her former apprentice's lips remained on hers for a while. This whole ordeal was too sudden and unexpected, but she found her body moving and her lips naturally reacting and returning Y/n's loving kiss.

As their lips slowly parted apart, both were left stunned and breathless from this unexpected moment. Jingliu felt her hands instinctively cradling Y/n's cheek and pulling her close to her. She did not say a single word and merely stared into Y/n's eyes as she continued to embrace her former apprentice.

"Mentor, you..."

As much as Jingliu wanted to respond, words failed to form when she heard her beloved's voice. Instead, Jingliu continued to simply held her gaze at the girl in front of her.

"We really are... a sinner..." Y/n whispered as they both kiss again.

The feeling of love and affection flowed through their bodies when they locked their lips once more, embracing one another. At this point, neither could care about anything else anymore that their only focus was on the kiss and one another.