To Love & To Loathe (Jingliu X Fem Reader)

Chapter 17: Revival

Jingliu was taken aback by the abrupt revelation that Y/n would be put to death for disobeying Yaoshi's will again, and her whole body froze in place for a moment when she heard those words. The former sword champion was silent for a few seconds as she tried to process all this.

Her lover's loyalty to Yaoshi meant so much that she would rather choose an endless days of suffering than to disobey them. She couldn't imagine what Y/n was going through to even consider this option a better choice than trying to refuse Yaoshi's desires.

Jingliu merely stayed silent, unable to even respond to this, as she was beginning to lose some of her initial anger after hearing all this. She felt a wave of sadness for her lover, as her attachment to Yaoshi was so deep that nothing else mattered to her, including herself. Jingliu was also starting to realize that her lover's loyalty and determination was so strong to the point it would override everything else, including common sense. There was not much she could do in this scenario, since Y/n herself would not oppose Yaoshi's wishes.

"...Mentor..."

"...?" Jingliu raised her head when she heard her lover's voice call out for her. She had already started to think about how she should deal with this whole dilemma, and maybe that's the reason why she didn't notice how her lover was trying to say something.

"...I'm sorry..."

That's the sentence Jingliu wouldn't want to hear from Y/n as it was already enough to tell her that no words can really help this situation and it would not be possible to convince Y/n to change her mind.

"Don't apologize" Jingliu said with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

"No. I... probably should... I continued to stay here in the Luofu for the past hundred years because I was task with the same command; Influence the Xianzhou locals with the Abundance's blessings rather than to worship the Rainbow Arbitor."

Upon that confession, Jingliu's feelings shifted to anger and frustration.

"You stayed here because that was what you were told to do."

"You kept obeying and doing as you were expected to do, without ever stopping to think about yourself. It's why you're suffering right now because you refused to do anything against Yaoshi's will; you sacrificed your happiness for everyone else, like the good and obedient follower that they want you to be. Is that what all this is about?"

"...That's–"

"Why must YOU do this? Why is it your responsibility to do this? Why does everyone need you more than you need yourself?" Jingliu interrupted her lover.

She watched her lover's face, she could feel her eyes begin to fill with disappointment. Her tone of voice started to become more urgent and agitated, wanting her lover to answer her question. Why did she had to sacrifice herself and deal with all this bullshit for everyone else. Why did she always have to be the one to carry every burden herself, while others seemed to get away with not having to do anything like her.

Jingliu was about to take off her veil, but Y/n stopped her with hand.

"Don't. It's... pointless..."

"Don't stop me." Jingliu snarled, and moved her lover's hand away from her face as she continued to stare at her lover with a cold and serious look on her face.

The sword champion was determined to see her lover's face without the veil as she thought it would help them in their conversation.

Y/n just remained silent as Jingliu took the veil off. She then stared directly on her lover's face without her blindfold on, her crimson eyes filled with many emotions, including anger.