To Love & To Loathe (Jingliu X Fem Reader)

Chapter 10: Blessings

Jingliu's eyes widened as she was completely caught off-guard and stunned by the sudden action of her former apprentice grabbing her sword and letting herself be stabbed by it. She was completely speechless and completely loss for words as she was unable to comprehend her student's decision to not dodge or block the attack but simply let it happen.

Y/n felt the sword piercing her skin and flesh, but surprisingly, she did not feel any pain or discomfort at all. Jingliu then took a few seconds to finally manage to take in this bizarre scene, as she saw Y/n pull out the sword that was buried in her chest, covered in her blood.

She did so calmly and with a blank expression, as if she was completely unfazed and felt no pain like she had done this many times before. Jingliu continued to stare at her, the bitter feeling in her heart only grew stronger as she found this entire act quite distasteful and absurd.

The blood that had spilled from the wound on Y/n's chest rapidly and quickly began to heal itself, as though the damage that was initially inflicted upon her was nonexistent. Even the deep wounds caused by the blade quickly and naturally repaired itself, with her chest becoming clear of any traces of the sword puncture.

To see this was just one of the many things that Jingliu found irritating and frustrating as she was simply at a complete loss for even understanding what her lover was now capable of doing.

"This is the blessing of The Abundance that was bestowed upon me. As their emanator, it is only natural that I would soon travel to every planet and influence them with THEIR blessing."

The bitter feeling in Jingliu's heart only grew stronger as she heard Y/n's words; she was still not convinced that the blessings of The Abundance was a good thing for anyone. To her, it was like giving power and influence to a tyrant and that this was only going to cause destruction and chaos everywhere it touched.

"...Mentor, tell me. How did you feel when I used my own power to suppress the mara that almost took you from the past?"

Jingliu remained quiet for a few seconds, before she finally spoke.

"While I appreciate the effort to save my life, the act itself still caused harm to this world and you yourself were damaged in the process."

Jingliu thought that the price paid for it was just too high. This was not at all the type of blessing that Jingliu wanted. To her, Y/n was still misguided with her understanding of the effects and consequences of what she was doing.

"Damaged..? On myself?" Y/n asked tilting her head a little.

"The mere process of suppressing the Mara is not a simple or easy task that can just be done so casually. To exert this much of your power to protect the life of one person, it takes a heavy toll on yourself." Jingliu replied as she shook her head.

What her former apprentice did was an act of self-sacrifice, for the purpose of saving her. Though her actions had good intentions, the consequence of the act was still great and heavy.

"...It was only necessary in order to save your being. I couldn't just let my lov- my master to succumb to the effects of the mara. I told you from before haven't I? That the only thing that I didn't betray was my love and care for you."

Although it was true that Y/n did not betray her love and care for her, Jingliu still couldn't help but be frustrated and annoyed with the way she went about using the Abundance's blessings, despite knowing the negative effects. The Abundance was not intended to be used for that purpose, yet she was using it in a way that would only end up hurting herself.

"...I still don't approve of the actions and means taken. You could have found another way-"

"There 'is' no other way, mentor. Being stricken with mara is inevitable to the people of Xianzhou. Yaoshi's benevolent nature led THEM to grant THEIR blessing upon anyone who seeks immortality." Y/n interrupted her.

"And by accepting that very blessing, you have also accepted the consequences of your choice." Jingliu responded sharply as she was still not at all convinced or satisfied with what Y/n did.

She could not deny that the Abundance's blessing were granted on those who lived in the Xianzhou Alliance in the past, but this does not mean that it had to be accepted when people sought immortality. It was a cruel and painful process that led to far worse suffering than mortal life. The only way to avoid this fate was to simply refuse to seek immortality.

"...It was their choice to begin with. Not mine, nor yours. Like I said, I only follow what was instructed to me."

"That's correct that it was not your choice to begin with, but what you did after that was indeed your choice." Jingliu said firmly and with a sense of seriousness as she tried to reason with her former apprentice.

Although she was aware of the decisions that the Xianzhou elders had made, she also still believed that these decisions would result in a disastrous and horrific fate for those who accepted the Abundance's blessing.

Before the topic was about to stray too far from Y/n's task, she stayed silent for a moment before clearing her throat.

"Ah right, I almost forgot. Your... other student, Jing Yuan asked me to come and look for you personally so that I could... ask you about the reason for your return here in the Xianzhou."

Although Jingliu was still focused on the previous topic, the mention of Jing Yuan had suddenly caught her curiosity as to what reason would he want to ask her regarding her return.

"Oh? And tell me, what did Jing Yuan want to know about my return here?"

Y/n just crossed her arms.

"Putting you in the shackling prison, I assume since he wouldn't even allow me to interfere regarding to your case for I am simply went and look for you here in the Cloudford to ask you that."

Jingliu stayed silent for a bit by the mention of her imprisonment and how Jing Yuan refused to allow Y/n to interfere, though she was already certain of the reason regarding the situation for which he wanted her to be imprisoned for. As such, she let out a sigh before finally speaking.

"I assume that Jing Yuan himself requested that you find some piece of information to report to him during our conversation, is that correct?"

"...Mentor, do know that I'm not forcing anything from you. If you refuse to cooperate, I'll leave. If you give me your reason, then I'm grateful. That's it, since I don't want to cause anymore chaos between us."

Jingliu stayed silent for a moment to think, though she still had a feeling that there was more to this than Y/n was letting on. However, she was not really opposed to sharing a simple explanation with her former lover regarding the reason for her return, so she began to speak in a calm and collected manner.

"I suppose there is no point in stalling any further. As such, I will share with you one part of the reason for my return here in the Luofu- to look for you."