To Love & To Loathe (Jingliu X Fem Reader)

Chapter 22: False Promises

After their intimate moment until morning, they spend the rest of the day, being at each other's embrace, taking care of each other and talking to one another nonstop.

The second day now felt both extremely long and short for them. Each moment they experienced together made it felt like time was slowed down, and as soon as they began to think about these remaining days to come, suddenly everything just sped up.

Yet, despite the mixed feelings, they still loved each other just as much as they did in the beginning. It may be bittersweet but they're definitely enjoying every last moment they could have together, cherishing this last chance that they had together before they are forever separated.

Jingliu then mentioned that before their wedding tomorrow, she must first bid a proper farewell to one of the members of the High-Cloud Quintet by gathering all of its members in the early morning.

Y/n only nodded her head, agreeing with her lover on the matter that a proper funeral for one of the members of the High-Cloud quintet must be done as soon as possible. Since their wedding day is merely a day away, they both didn't have much time left so Y/n can only watch on as Jingliu makes the necessary arrangements for the funeral.

She couldn't help but feel a little sad knowing that someone she knew from her master's circle has now passed away due to war with The Abundance but she kept her emotions in check, giving Jingliu her full support during this time.

As the final day arrived, Jing Yuan gave Jingliu her freedom for a day as they gathered to say a proper farewell to their comrade as all of the members of the High-Cloud were gathered at the field, ready to finally grant their late companion a proper farewell. Jingliu's face was still filled with sadness with what happened and she only hoped that she could still remain composed during this time

As the members of the High-Cloud Quintet were now gathered together, they began the funeral rituals to honor one of their late comrade. Jingliu's face remained grim and stoic, yet at the same time she can feel the sorrow buried deep down in her heart.

Y/n didn't join the gathering as she could only watched from afar on a stone cliff, without Jingliu noticing due to her connection with The Abundance that killed Jingliu's comrade.

"...."

Y/n just stare silent at their figures before sighing then took out the ring from the box and held it in her palm, gazing at it for a moment with a slightly bittersweet look on her face.

"By giving her this ring... Will Jingliu still even smiled happily at me for I successfully make her my wife? Or shall she hate me more after she finds out the truth..?"

The sadness that has been brewing within her heart only continued to grow stronger and she could feel how much she's torn between her lover's happiness and her own guilt for lying to her. Yet no matter how much she wants to change things and right her wrong, she doesn't know what exactly should she do at this point.

Y/n then shakes her head, "No, I had already reassured myself for a hundred time that this decision is final. Whatever her reactions will be, I'm willing to take all of it."

Y/n remained still by the stone cliff as she tries to come to a conclusion to one of the biggest decision of her entire life. Even though she had already decided, she could not help but feel doubtful at times but in the end she would always return to the same resolution.

"This is what I have to do to make her happy... I will take any response from her, be it in anger, hatred or even grief, but she will still be mine. After all, she is the one who I love the most."

"I'm sure this ring will suit her perfectly..."

Y/n kept staring at the ring inside the box, her mind filled with the thoughts about how much her lover would be delighted to receive such a beautiful ring. She tried her best to hold back her own emotions for the sake of her love, despite how overwhelming it feels now to think that she'll be lying to the one she loves most.

"Even if it's just my wishful thinking. I can't help but to wonder what life I could probably live in if I didn't meet her that night. Perhaps I'm still serving Yaoshi, I assume."

Y/n's thoughts soon began to drift towards another direction.

"It may be a different life than I current have, but is it better? There's no way to find out but one thing I knew for sure, I no longer wish to live in that timeline at all as I had already made my decision."

Y/n could only stare with sadness in her eyes as she lifted the ring and framed it on her lover's profile from afar. The lies and the joy of finally being with her love, the worry about how she will react later on. All of these emotions only made her heart beat faster than normal, as she was now filled with both anxiety and excitement at the same time.

Y/n sighed as she placed the ring back onto the original box, knowing that it will soon be placed on her lover's finger and she will soon become her wife.

She then brushed the symbol of the Abundance on her left chest. The guilt she feels will soon dissipate once the wedding ceremony is completed and she and her love finally become one.

"For a heart that betrays another... Does the one who cause it must pay the price?"

Then she turned around before leaving the area before continuing her statement.

"...Or shall the two must suffer the consequence?"

While she did try to come to the conclusion of how she will ultimately face this consequence, she still felt as if this was a question that had no definite answer to it.