If You Love Her (Ron Weasley)

Twenty-Seven.

A million different emotions spiralled in my head in the days following the disbandment of Dumbledore's Army. Of course, it had to be disbanded. Once Umbridge found out about us, once she knew where we were based, it was over. It was a brilliant few months, the best of my life to that point. All good things must come to an end, though. 

Of course, something else had come to an abrupt end for me. When Ron kissed me, it felt like everything in the world just paused. Nothing else mattered, just the fact his lips were on mine, and a million fireworks were exploding in my mind. He was everything. 

And then, almost as suddenly as he had become everything, he was nothing. We had to run, as fast as our legs could carry us, away from the Room of Requirement, and somehow that meant we also had to run away from our feelings. 

Whilst my feelings had only continued to grow, his seemed to vanish.  For weeks following our kiss, I had tried to get his attention, tried to start conversations whenever we were together in a room. And he proceeded to pretend I didn't even exist. 

"Has he always been this painfully stupid?" I complained to Hermione, whom I had been growing closer to with every passing day. Having a female friend was a pleasant change from my usual company. Being solely friends with boys worked splendidly for a time, but when you're a teenager, full of hormones and feelings, a female knows just how to help. 

"He's always been quite thick, in a common sense sort of way," Hermione pondered. "But this is a new low, even for him. I really thought, when he kissed you, he had grown up,"

"Do you think he'll ever speak to me again?" Hermione rolled her eyes at this. I had always been quite a dramatic soul. I'm not sure if you've noticed this, whilst getting to know me, I do tend to jump to the worst conclusions. 

"He will come to his senses eventually, Aoife, he's not entirely helpless," She chuckled. 

"If he doesn't knock some sense into himself soon, I'm scared Seamus is going to do it for him," I shuddered at the thought. Naturally, everybody who had been at the meeting the day we were caught also saw Ron storm his way across the very busy room and thrust his lips onto mine. And whilst nobody quite gained the courage to outright ask, I knew whispers flew around the school. 

Before my fifth year, I was quite literally a nobody. Very few people acknowledged my existence, other than Seamus, Neville and Dean. I was very much content with living my life peacefully. But now everybody knew about the little ginger Irish girl who seemed to have captured the attention of the youngest Weasley boy, and Harry Potter's best friend. 

Of course, Seamus had also been present at that meeting, and he had been thoroughly confused by what he had seen. He was less annoyed than I had imagined him being, however, until he realised Ron was avoiding me entirely, and then he was infuriated. 

Thankfully, he had decided to listen to me when I begged him not to make everything a bigger deal than it already was, and to let me sort the situation out for myself. The issue was, I didn't know how long Seamus could hold his anger in. He felt Ron had disrespected me. 

I didn't feel disrespected, necessarily. I felt utterly gutted. Ron didn't seem to grasp what his kiss had meant to me, after months of doubting myself, questioning my self-worth, not feeling good enough for someone like him, he had finally settled all of my fears with one kiss. In one moment, every demon in my head was silenced. And every day since, they had woken one by one, reminding me that I certainly was not enough for him. 

What I also didn't think Ron knew was that he was my first kiss. My first crush. At this point, I was quietly confident that Ron Weasley was the first boy I had loved. He was in my every thought, when I woke in the morning, he was the very first thing in my mind. When I lay down at night, he was what I dreamed of. I searched for him in every corridor, I stole glances at him during meals. I wanted to hate him, since he kissed me and left me feeling nothing but misery. But I simply found myself more enamoured by him every hour that passed. 

"Aoife!" Hermione's voice shocked me from my thoughts, and I looked at her, to find her shaking her head, a small grin on her face. 

"What?" I feigned innocence, causing her grin to grow. 

"I've been talking away for the last three minutes," She laughed. "What could possibly have gotten you so distracted?" 

As if she didn't know.

"Your stupid ginger prat of a friend," I groaned. "Do you think I'll ever be able to move past this?" 

"You don't need to move past anything, Aoife! He just needs to grow up, and stop being so scared of his feelings," Hermione said. 

"You still think after all of this, he has feelings for me?" I rolled my eyes. Had she not seen what I had seen since that night?

"I know he does!" Hermione insisted. "You don't see the way he looks at you when you're concentrating on a book in the common room, or the way he makes us take detours around the castle because he knows you're heading somewhere at a certain time, and he wants to see you, even for a few minutes. Ron Weasley adores you, and if I have to force it out of him, then that's what I'll do,"