Colors and Life / Soviet x Reich

Chapter 22

A week has passed and I've taken good care of the kids and I'm on the third picture right now. I know I should only do two, but I think a third would be nice too. This time I'm trying to draw a blackbird in a tree. Is quite difficult because they are constantly moving and flying away. The sun is shining and it is pleasantly warm. I stand in the shade while I draw the picture. The children are playing in the pond, which is not far from here. I hear their laughter clearly. I go to them and see that they are hosing each other off with water. It's so nice to see them so happy.

I go back to the picture, but I feel that I need something other than drawing. I want to sing. I just feel like I have to let it all out. Fortunately, I got the guitar for it beforehand. It is leaning against a tree, a few meters from me. I climb the tree because I don't like sitting on the grass because of the ants. I sit on a branch leaning against the tree trunk. I'm cross-legged with the guitar on my lap. I also tune in the guitar before I start playing:

"I sing to you every night

And think of you every day

I you are close to me

And yet you are so far away

I want to come to you,

But I'm afraid

That you don't see me the way you used to

My heart says yes

But my head no

What should I do,

Nothing I do seems right

I don't want to be afraid anymore

And just love you

I want you and you me too

But what will you do when you see me

I need you and I have to go to you

But I'm afraid that you will hurt me

I need you,

No matter what it may cost me

I need you

Whenever you are with me

my heart starts beating faster

I am safe and protected with you

Nobody can do anything to me

I try to meet every condition

To be with you,

No matter how exhausting it is

My heart says yes

But my head no

What should I do,

Nothing I do seems right

I don't want to be afraid anymore

And just love you

I want you and you me too

But what will you do when you see me

I need you and I have to go to you

But I'm afraid that you will hurt me

I need you,

No matter what it may cost me

I need you

I don't come to you with fear

Its been holding me back for a long time

But one day it will be enough

I have to go back to you

I want you and you me too

But what will you do when you see me

I need you and I have to go to you

But I'm afraid that you will hurt me

I need you,

No matter what it may cost me

I need you

I-need-you"

I suddenly hear applause next to me. I get scared and fall from the tree. I can't hold on to anything and close my eyes. This will hurt! I land gently and also not on earth. What happened? I open my eyes and see Soviet's face in front of me. "Are you all right?", Soviet Union asks me, "I didn't mean to scare you." "I'm fine, don't worry.", I reply. Did he hear me sing? Soviet says: "You were great! I didn't know that you could sing that well." He finds it good? I'm getting warmer again. "Thank you!", I thank him, because I don't know what else to say.

Soviet has that beautiful smile again and everything tingles inside me. I feel myself melting away from that smile. How does he do it? I still ask myself that until today. He slowly sets me down on the floor again and picks up the guitar. He takes a good look at the guitar before handing it back to me. "You were indescribable.", he flatters me before going to his children. I still stand there without saying a word or moving. I think a little more before the laughter brings me out. I go and see that the is in the pond too. He has put his clothes around a branch.

I want to jump into the pond too, but I'm not quite sure. I'd rather not go in, maybe I could disturb them because they haven't seen each other in a week. I go back to my picture. "Nick!", I hear Soviet call and turn to him. I ask him: "What is?" "Don't you want to come in too?", he asks me. What can I say? I want to, but something inside of me says no. I will take part. "Gladly!", I shout before I put everything of except my underpants and put everything on the nearest branch before I slowly go in, as the water seems to me to be quite cold. "The water is so cold.", I say when I feel how cold it is.

Soviet giggles through it and swims to me. "I'll give you a tip. Get your whole body into the water quickly and start swimming immediately, then you will get warm.", he claims. I am very insecure. Should I do it? I just try. I go into the water with my whole body except for my head. "Hush!", comes from me. It's freezing, how can the three of them stand it? I feel someone take my hands carefully. Soviet pulls me with him, but when I feel no ground beneath me, I quickly pull my arms back and swim until I feel safe enough again. This is so embarrassing!

I'm always afraid that when the ground is gone, something will drag me down. I will probably never get rid of this stupid fear! Someone puts his hand on my shoulder. Soviet, who is in front of me, asks me: "Are you all right?" "Y-yes, when I have no more ground under my feet, I just get a little scared.", I answer. "You know, I know someone with the same problem.", he says, "I assure you that there is nothing in this pond except of small fish, but you are not afraid of them, are you?" I shake my head I'm not afraid of fish.

"Take my hand and I'll show you that you are scared for no reason.", Soviet assures me. Reluctantly, I take his hand, whereupon he carefully pulls me towards him. "Hold your breath and open your eyes underwater.", He tells me before he goes underwater. I take a deep breath and dive down to him. I try to find my way with my hands, but it doesn't work at all. I slowly open my eyes even if they don't like it. I see Soviet sitting at the bottom of the pond, smiling up at me. He extends his hand and I swim down to him. He takes me by my wrists and pulls me to him.