Colors and Life / Soviet x Reich

Chapter 16

I feel so powerless from the fear, panic, memories and headaches that just don't stop. I lie in a corner and bite my hand over and over to distract myself from my other pains. Why is it so cold here or am I imagining it? Nobody will come and help me! How much time has passed I don't know. It seems like forever to me. I hear the door opening or am I just imagining it? I'm probably imagining it again. Suddenly I feel something wrap around me. Is it my imagination?

I feel a hand on my shoulder and flinch at the touch. I immediately look up and see Soviet putting a blanket over me. I hug his arm because I'm scared that he will leave me here and he will make me feel a little more secure. With one hand he strokes my back and calmly says to me: "I came to get you out of here." It calms me down a lot, but I'm still not ready to let go of him. "I-I shouldn't have r-reacted like that! I-I'm so so s-sorry!", I apologize, stuttering as tears run down my face again. "Nick, you don't have to apologize for anything.", he says, "You did exactly the right thing."

"W-why am I h-here then?", I ask. Soviet tells me: "She doesn't like it when someone defies her ideas." I slowly calmed down more. "I want to get out of here.", I sob. He slowly gets up and takes my hands to get me back on my feet. Then I put the blanket around myself a little better because it makes me feel more protected. Soviet puts one of its wings around me so that I feel a little better. His wings are almost exactly the same color as his eyes, but unlike his eyes, his wings don't glitter, they shine.

Slowly he starts to go and I try as best I can to keep up with him. He goes extra slower for me. I keep my eyes on the ground because I don't want to see anyone right now. We walk slowly through the corridors and out of the building. We sit on a bench. I don't want to leave Soviet. After a while, Soviet Union asks me: "Have you ever been in a cell?" I answer him: "Yes, I didn't see any food or face there for a week. I was given a little water on the third day. After that one week they wanted to kill me. The worst part was that I didn't even do anything."

I don't want to tell him more. "Then it's no wonder that you reacted like that.", says Soviet, "That must have been really bad for you." I nod and hug his arm. I am so happy that he is with me. I really think he was the one from the dream the other day. He's the one who wants to save me. I want to say thank you for everything and never let go of him, but I can't yet. I've slowly calmed down so that I slowly let go of his arm and I don't cry anymore. "Thank you!", I thank him. He says with a smile: "No problem! I can see that you can really use rest now, I will make sure that you will have your peace today and will not work again until tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that for me!", I say. He wants to postpone painting the room especially for me? That's really nice of him! "Yes! You can hardly work like that!", says Soviet Union. "Thank you very much, emperor Soviet!", I thanked him. "No big deal!", He says. I just hug him without really thinking about it. I snuggle up to him and he puts his arms around me. Its warmth feels even more soothing to me. When I notice who I'm hugging and I let go of him. I shouldn't hug him! Why did i hug him? I kind of feel like hugging him. "I-I'm sorry!", I quickly apologize.

"Everything's fine!" He says and strokes my shoulder. I shouldn't be staying here any longer. I tell him: "I'm sure you still have a lot to do, I'll go back to my room and read the books." I'll go away quickly. I can't stay around him or he'll find out who I am. Maybe he's even figured it out. I have to go and he can't stop me. I grab the two books that Afghanistan took from me and go to my room, where I close the door, lock it and lie down. I'll drink the potion and I'm back to normal. I put the books on my bedside table.

I can still smell the wonderful smell of Soviet on my bed. The feelings of happiness flow through my body again. After a while, I get a headache again. That stupid headache! Some time later I start reading the love story, but after two chapters of it I have to think of Soviet again and there I give up reading the book at that moment and imagine situations and scenarios with him that I replay a little. How can I have such a big imagination? At some point I get a little tired and go to sleep for a short time.

When I wake up again I read a few chapters, take the potion that makes me a human and put something on again so I can get an instrument. I'll get a guitar and go back to my room. I play a few well-known and made up songs that I also sing to. I'm busy with singing, reading, thinking and drawing all day long so that my body can recover from the strong potion. I only drink the strong transformation potion for dinner. The rest of the day I avoided Afghanistan and Soviet as good as I could. I fall asleep a little earlier again. I'm already waking up drenched in sweat, these stupid nightmares always come when I sleep late, except yesterday with Soviet.