Colors and Life / Soviet x Reich

Chapter 8

I can remember so well when I almost died and ran away like it happened yesterday.

Four years ago I got my wings overnight. When I realized that I had wings I was over the moon. I was already able to make myself invisible and I had the flexibility. Maybe I could sneak out of the palace soon. I spread my wings for the first time and saw that they had white tips and white speckles in some places. I found the wings so beautiful that I wanted to show them to everyone. I didn't know the old fairy tale about the wings of death then. I ran to show my little brother my wings. But everyone froze on the way to him. At the time I thought it was because they didn't expect me to get wings.

When I got to my brother Weimar, I woke him up. But when he woke up and saw my wings, he got scared and hid under his blanket. "Bruder was ist los? (Brother what's up?)", I asked confused. I didn't get an answer from him, just a little whimper of fear. My father then walked into the room and looked at me with a mixture of hatred and fear. I'd never had that look from him, not even as he found out that I and Soviet are together. He kind of scared me. To be on the safe side, I looked around to make sure he really meant me. He really meant me with the look, but still I didn't understand what was going on.

My father paused in the doorway, but soon he stepped aside as royal guards rushed into the room. They held my arms and tied my wings so tight that I thought they were trying to stop blood from flowing through them. Scared I asked: "Was ist los? (What's going on?)" Nobody gave me an answer, they got me out of the room as fast as they got in. "Papa?! (Dad?!)", I called, but it didn't help. I was taken to the prison and locked up there for a week with no food. I was skinny and lay on the floor. Nobody came down to me in the whole week. I had already freed my wings on the first day.

I didn't understand what was going on. I wanted answers, but got none. I was cleaning my feathers when I heard footsteps. Immediately I ran to the bars and saw my father. I really thought he would get me out, but I was wrong about that. Father stood in front of the cell across from me and looked at me with hatred. What was I doing wrong? "Großdeutsches Reich du bist eine Schande für die ganze Familie! (Greater German Reich you are a shame for the whole family!)", he shouted. He didn't even say 'son' to me anymore. Why was he doing that? Why? Reich the Second shouted: "As of today you are no longer part of the family!" His words were like a stab in the heart. What was wrong with me? What I have done wrong? Tell me!

While I don't want to be part of the royal family, my family was usually nice to me because they were still my family and loved me. "Als König dieses Königreiches, werde ich den der die Flügel des Todes trägt vor dem Leid, dass er mit sich trägt erlösen und mein Königreich beschützen! Der der die Flügel des weißen Todes trägt wird heute Mitternacht auf dem Scheiterhaufen verbrannt! (As king of this kingdom, I will redeem the one with the wings of death from the suffering that he carries with him and protect my kingdom! The one with the wings of white death will be burned at the stake at midnight today!)", he shouted. My heart stopped beating. Somehow I had the feeling that he meant me. Wings of white death? Who the hell thinks wings could bring death? Wings were a symbol of freedom and peace, not death.

He just left like nothing had happened while I started crying in shock and fear. Did they really believe that these wings could bring death? Back then I thought I was going to die midnight tonight. I would be burned alive and everyone would celebrate like I was a wicked witch. I never did anything to anyone. Night fell and I was getting more and more scared. I was just panicking. If I died now, I would never see Soviet again, never see his smile again. I will never kiss or hug him again. I didn't want to die that night.

But just making it invisible and sneaking out wouldn't help, as my father had definitely told the guards about it. After a while an idea occurred to me, since I had got sharp teeth during the days in the prison, I could just break free. I thought my plan through to the end and hope it would work out or else I would be burned alive. When I heard footsteps, I made myself invisible to fake an attempt to escape. Four people came into the room with a net while I pressed myself against the wall. They spread the net and went forward, right towards me. I jumped against the net, but they wrapped it around me.

Then I was caught in the net. I became visible again and taken out of the prison. I defended myself and was taken outside. I already saw the pyre. My heart stopped. Now it was life or death. I only had one more chance. They took me over the wood to a wooden stake where they tied me up. I was scared and panicked. I saw the people in front of me. My family was there. Had they told Soviet? Was he there and was afraid for me? I was scared like never before in my life. Tears ran down my face. My father addressed a few more words to the audience.

The wood was then set on fire. The smoke was uncomfortable and made me panic even more. Slowly the fire got bigger and bigger. I looked up at the starry night sky. The moon was behind me, but his light lit up the place, even if the fire was very bright, the moonlight seemed stronger to me. After a while the flames had almost reached me, but the fire below was already so high that I could now begin to bite myself free. The heat and smoke were terrible, but I had to hold out. I had to get out. I didn't want to get burned. I didn't want to die! I wanted to live and go back to Soviet!

I had bitten myself free, made myself invisible and used my wings for the first time. Then I screamed as loud as never before. Part of the burning wood collapsed and I fluttered further down. I screamed one last time before I got away and hid as quickly as I could.

That was the most terrible thing what I have experienced in my entire life. It is burned into my memory to this day.