Becoming His Fix

32

Roland's POV

I held Kit's hand in mine as we lay on our backs and stared up at the stars hanging above us. A small blanket lay under us and it did barely anything to keep the coldness of the ground from seeping into our backs but I couldn't care less.

We sat in silence because I didn't feel like talking after everything that had happened that day and Kit thankfully didn't seem to mind.

My head was rested on his shoulder while his arm slung around my back and our joined hands connected on his stomach. Every now and then his thumb would brush across my back, up my spine in slow long slow strokes, before resting it back at the base right above the hem of my sweatpants.

We weren't technically supposed to be out here. We had a curfew that said everyone had to be in their assigned cabins after 9 and it was well past that but since I was with Kit I didn't care about the rules. Besides it's not like I hadn't snuck out before.

The lake rippled a few feet to my right and the crickets sang along to the sound at a tune that was almost too high pitched but it was nice and I never wanted to leave.

"The stars look so much better out here than they do in the city," Kit said barely above a whisper when the first hour had passed.

"There's no light pollution out here," I said back. I could feel the frown on his face as he looked down at me briefly. My voice had been cold and lifeless and he hadn't heard it sound like that since he'd cleaned my books so I could get caught up on schoolwork but I was too fed up to care about putting effort into my voice at this point.

"Do you want to talk about," he said after another long stretch of silence.

"I don't want to go back there."

"Go back where?"

"My last foster's house."

Andrew and Mary had called me into the front office not long after lunch and the second I saw the look on Andrew's face I froze. My shoulders had tensed and my hands began to move at random.

"So we have some news to share with you this morning," Mary said from where she sat at her desk. Andrew stood beside her with a strong frown on his lips. "Do you remember your last foster parents? Keith and Aubrey?"

I nodded because I did. They weren't the worst home I had been sent to but I still hated them. Aubrey was mean, she used to scream and hit me and treat me like a maid. I knew they were supposed to get money from me living with them but I never saw any of it. I never got new clothes unless Kieth was coming home soon, I never had any foods I liked to eat, and even though I was cleaning all of their things I was never bought any gloves even though I had asked at least once a week.

Keith had been nice. He had wanted to adopt me. When my social worker dropped me off at their doorstep she had said this would be a good place for me.

'They foster to adopt,' she had told me with a small smile. 'They asked for you by name! I give it 6 months before you move in full-time.' I had been excited about that until the first time Keith left on business and Aubrey started showing her true colors.

If it had just been Keith I think things would have been better but you couldn't leave a foster kid alone for long periods of time and Kieth was always traveling so that wouldn't happen so I left when the word adoption started being thrown around.

"What about them?"

"It seems the social worker involved with your case told them you had been found. They want to bring you home."

My chest was going to explode. I was certain of it. My hands began to shake more than they had been and I couldn't breathe. My head shook on its own as I began walking backward towards the door.

"Breathe Roland," Mary soothed as she took a small step forward but I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air but it was useless. "It's going to be okay," she soothed and I didn't believe her because how could she possibly know it was going to be okay?